Hi bateman ,
A big Aussie welcome to Susan's family. It's good of you to drop in and say "Hi". Hope you like it here, and you stay for a while.
Confusion is nothing unusual in these early days of self recognition. Probably a good reason to look for an experienced gender therapist, who can help you through the minefield of feelings, thoughts and emotions. Makes whatever you do with the rest of your life a whole lot easier.
There is a mountain of information, resources and friendship waiting for you here, you just need to jump in and start talking.
Looking forward to hearing more of your story in time to come, but in the meantime, be safe, well and happy.
Lotsa huggs
Catherine