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Started by mikaellucien, August 19, 2012, 01:46:33 PM

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mikaellucien

So, my name is Mikael.  I've been browsing around the site for a few days & chiming in when I feel comfortable to do so or have something to offer.  I'd like to say thanks to everyone here for making a sanctuary such as this possible.

As for me, I grew up in a tiny town surrounded by warped religion and fear mongering.  I outed myself as bisexual at 14, the same year my Dad outed himself as gay.  Neither went over well, to say the least.  At 20 I outed my poly lifestyle, that was a mixed bag. 

I've always known that my parts were incorrect.  I also knew that I wanted to have a family, without the mass expense of adoption or medical intervention.  So I decided to wait to transition until after my family was complete.  Confusing and painful times those were, both emotionally and physically. 

I've only recently outed my trans status to friends and family.  My husband is on board with transition, thank god.  He is bisexual, so it makes him little difference from a purely physical point of view.  In his words, "Anyone that truly knows you will not be surprised in the least."  My Dad & his husband are also on board and extremely supportive, though Dad has expressed that he would personally prefer I not do it but will support me regardless (as that is his issue, not mine).

Several friends have expressed genuine support, also.  Though I have yet to hear a peep from my Mom.  She has taken all of my personal *oddities* & chalked them up to "you are my weird kid & I love you anyway".  I hope that her love is truly unconditional, but the moment that she realizes that I am a man married to a man, she may begin adding conditions.  Alas, it hurts to think that she may turn away, but it hurts more to continue living as someone I was never intended to be; constantly feeling out of sync with my body & my life; feeling like I am always pretending.

I spent years butchering my body with blades in some warped effort to find inner peace.  Also, to some extent (I think), in an effort to distance myself from others.  The scars are extensive and obvious, & rendered people afraid of me (which is rather backward, in my opinion).  These days I've got 2 years *on the wagon* with no intention of ever looking back.

Sometimes life just happens to you, sometimes *you* make it happen.  Yes, terrible things have happened to me.  Yes, I have chosen to do terrible things.  The question is often not "what did I do/what happened to me?" but "what am I *willing to do* to fix it?"

My life motto:  "I'll be me & you be you.  Maybe we'll meet in the middle.  If not, we'll both be happier for it."

Cheers, all.  Looking forward to getting to know everyone.   :D
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Sara Thomas

Welcome Mikael - It certainly sounds as if you're winning on the acceptance side of things, within your circle... that's fabulous!

M'best - Sadie
I ain't scared... I just don't want to mess up my hair.
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mikaellucien

Yes, it would seem that I am.

I just got off the phone with my youngest sister.  There are 6 siblings in all, plus step siblings.  I am #2, the oldest *girl*, she is 19 & the *baby*.  She nearly exploded with joy, especially from the aspect that she will *finally* have another brother.  I was/am absolutely floored.  Especially as she has a fairly narrow mind regarding gender, sexuality, etc.
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Shantel

Hi Mikael!
         As a past family member here and now back as a visitor, I can assure you that you will be welcome here. Sounds as if you are getting support from 90% of the family, so it seems as if you've beat the usual odds thus far. As for moms, bless them all, but they often seem to take our stuff on as their personal failure. In future conversations it might be helpful to try and encourage her not to suffer guilt over your own decisions. I had often thought that I had some control over the outcome of my own kids lives, I was sadly mistaken. It's their life, they have to live it, so once they get through potty training and learn mom and pop's basic family values, the parent has done all that's necessary and the rest is up to the child to decide.
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Devlyn

Welcome to Susans, Mikael! I am from the Boston area. Take a peek  at our Site rules and TOS  https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,2.0.html and I'll see you around! Hugs Devlyn *edit: fixed link*
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Jamie D

Welcome Mikael.  Glad to have you on board.
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Catherine Sarah

Hi Mikael ,

A big Aussie welcome to Susan's family. It's good of you to drop in and say "Hi". Hope you like it here, and you stay for a while.

There is a mountain of information, resources and friendship waiting for you here, you just need to jump in and start talking.

It's pleasing to hear you have a lot of support from your inner family. Makes the going for you, just that much easier.

Looking forward to hearing more of your story in time to come, but in the meantime, be safe, well and happy.

Lotsa huggs
Catherine




If you're in Australia and are subject to Domestic Violence or Violence against Women, call 1800-RESPECT (1800-737-7328) for assistance.
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Ms. OBrien CVT

Hi Mikael, :icon_wave:

Welcome to our little family. Over 7925  strong. That would be one heck of a family reunion.

Feel free to post your successes/failures, Hopes/dreams.  Ask questions and seek answers. Give and receive advice.

But remember we are family here, your family now. And it is always nice to have another brother.

And be sure to check out these links ( MUST READS )


Janet 

  
It does not take courage or bravery to change your gender.  It takes fear of living one more day in the wrong one.~me
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jazzedpeach79

Welcome :) I admire your courage. You must always be true to yourself. It's like loving yourself -- it has to come first. Once you accept yourself, as you have, life truly begins!

gennee

Welcome to Susan's, Mikael. You are ahead as far as acceptance. It took my wife a while to accept that I am transgender. I am much happier now.



:)
Be who you are.
Make a difference by being a difference.   :)

Blog: www.difecta.blogspot.com
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