Hi there,

I've recently started to identify with the term 'pansexual.' prior to this I have always referred to myself as 'bisexual,' but what I interpret pansexual to mean feels more accurate. I've been online trying to find 'definitions' (haha) but they all seem to have unique twists to them. Am I correct in my understanding that being pansexual just means you do not judge a person on their gender, but their personality? I've always said I'm attracted to a person's energy, not their genitals.

Thoughts/feedback?

Thanks

I tend to think of pansexual (or polysexual, my own preference) as meaning that you're attracted to people without necessarily knowing what their gender is - and that gender is irrelevant to your attractions. That doesn't mean you don't have preferences, it just means that emotional and sexual attraction isn't determined by body parts per se.

This is from our own Wiki section on the site:

Pansexuality, or omnisexuality, is a sexual orientation, characterized by the potential for aesthetic attraction, romantic love, or sexual desire towards people, regardless of their gender identity or biological sex. Some pansexuals suggest that they are gender-blind; that gender and sex are insignificant or irrelevant in determining whether they will be sexually attracted to others. For others, an individual's sex, gender expression, or gender identity can be a key factor of attraction, despite the pansexual individual's wide range of sex and gender attractions.

The word pansexual is derived from the Greek prefix pan-, meaning "all". It is intended to negate the idea of two genders (as expressed by bi-).

The adjective pansexual may also be applied to organizations or events. In this context, the term usually indicates an openness to the involvement of people of all genders and sexual orientations in said organization/event, as well as the pansexual sexual identity.

Edited to remove footnotes

Right on, thanks guys

Padma, what exactly do you take issue with when it comes to this term? I think I'm confused about the real difference between poly and pan.

Do many people on this site identify as either?

It's just a personal thing - I've noticed if I say I'm pansexual people are even more inclined to think that means I fancy everyone and everything than if I just said I was bi . I like poly- because it just means "many". I feel like it allows for me having definite preferences, though they're not around gender/sex as such.

*edit* I just looked up both on the interwebz, and on the balance it's probably more accurate to describe myself as pansexual (going by the general descriptions out there) since I find myself attracted to people before I know what their gender/sex is, and my attraction is not affected by finding out - I just prefer poly because it makes me sound less promiscuous .

Interesting. Yeah, sometimes when I say 'pansexuality' I feel as though it implies I'll jump on anything with a pulse, hahaa -- but I just honestly gravitate/magnetize towards an individual's energy. I have had sexual experiences with men who have defined themselves as exclusively gay; you just never know what will happen between people. I've also had many gay men tell me that they find me sexually attractive (as if I was the exception to their rule). I have found this to be extremely intriguing as well. I don't know if it's just me or if you (or others) have felt this way at all: sometimes I feel as though I defy gender/sexual orientation! I don't associate or project gender 'traits' on myself or others. It seems strange to feel this way, especially considering the heavy onslaught of almost forced gender identification that is propelled through the media/advertising, etc.

Have you had more experiences with women or men? Don't feel as though you have to answer that if it's too invasive!

I've had more experiences with women than with men (thought not lots of either!), mainly because I don't do sex without love/affection, and it's harder to find men who are up for that (unsweeping that generalisation, it's been harder for me to find men who were up for that).

I had a lovely experience recently flirting with someone I thought was probably a trans woman, but who was very androgynous, and knowing for sure made no difference at all. I started thinking of myself as polysexual when I fell for someone on an online dating site after seeing a photo of their smile , and only later finding out he was a trans man. We had a good time together for a bit, but he wasn't up for anything except sex, so...

I'm not sure I defy anything, I just don't take gender identity (or sexual orientation) very seriously as a rigid entity. I'm attracted to fluidity in people rather than rigidity (no, this is not sexual innuendo...) so I tend to be more attracted to people who are genderfluid or queer in some way, as the "straight" people are often more under the sway of their prejudices, and that's a turn-off, both sex- and heart-wise.

Here's how I say it:  There are a lot of reasons why I might reject somebody as a partner.  Sex or gender are never among them.

Being pansexual doesn't really feel like a sexual orientation to me.  It's more like a lack of orientation.  (Sexual disorientation?  LOL no, that makes it sound bad)

A sexual non-orientation?

I was reading how John Barrowman (who plays Capt. Jack Harkness in Torchwood) describes his character as omnisexual, which I quite like too, since it's like omnidirectional.

I guess part of the problem with pansexual for me is it reminds me of the god Pan - who is such a slut .

(Disclaimer: no insult intended to Pan acolytes...)

Sexually I identify as pan romantic asexual  lesbian. The pan romantic being attracted to a wide range of people without gender being part of the equation how ever I haven't had strong feelings for any cis male I saw pan as being for multiple and omni being for  all my experience is that most cis miles have a creepy vibe people of other genders also have that vibe and I wouldn't want to be romantically involved with someone if they were creepy more so then their bits

Quote from: Padma on August 21, 2012, 06:09:02 AM
A sexual non-orientation?

I was reading how John Barrowman (who plays Capt. Jack Harkness in Torchwood) describes his character as omnisexual, which I quite like too, since it's like omnidirectional.

I guess part of the problem with pansexual for me is it reminds me of the god Pan - who is such a slut .

(Disclaimer: no insult intended to Pan acolytes...)

I just like to say thank you for the Capt Jack and Torchwood reference!  but doesn't he reference  omnisexual to include non humans? Side note on "poly" and "pan" Pan means all, doesn't poly mean many.. as several partners?  I have a cousin of mine who is in a polyamerous marriage.. how they make that work is beyond me, but I guess I'm the jealous type.

Hehe sexual disorientation  I love it

This is how I define the terms in my head:

Pan - Attracted to people with no regard for gender. Someones gender or any associated traits play no part in the attraction.

Bi - Like boys because they are boys, and like girls because they are girls. While still appreciating the different qualities of each gender.

Poly - Can be romantically attached to more than one person at a time. This to me is not a sexuality within itself, for example you could be straight while also being poly.

I don't think polysexual means "many partners at once" any more than bisexual means "two partners at once" - they both refer to orientation, not to activity as such. You might be polysexual and monogamous, just as you might be, say, hetero and have many sexual partners.

Poly being often used as shorthand for polyamorous does confuse the issue.

Capt. Jack may couple with non-humans, but never with non-sentient, non-consenting non-humans - it's always people, even if they're not from earth.

I have a problem with the word 'pan' in pansexual, because 'pan' in every other context means 'everything' or 'all' as in 'pantheism'.

So whatever the given or general meaning, I can't overcome the idea that it is someone turned on by all and every thing, from chair legs to dog turds to half a cold cup of tea to insects, foxes, children, bags of garden waste, shopping centres and chrome dining tales... essentially I find the term is irreconcilably untrue, and rather dopey sounding. All because of the choice of prefix. Poly does it better for me.

Gather round, children, and I will tell ye the chrome dining tale...

Although I am technically pansexual, I don't like the term for a few reasons. One is that the general attitude I learned about when I learned the term. It was kind of elitist and hostile towards bi people which really put me off (especially since most bi people mean the same thing as pan people). Another is that "pan" means "all" and my standards are way too high to consider myself "all" sexual. Yeah, I know it's only supposed to refer to gender, but I'm kind of dumb in the sense that it still puts me off. Also, pan reminds me of Pan who I am not attracted to, so it feels kind of weird to me. Yeah I know none of those are really good enough reasons, but I don't see the reason why I have to label my sexuality anyway. I mean, what can I label it with? Any-combination-of-the-following-personality-traits-and/or-physical-attributes *insert long list that I don't even know all of here*,-but-there-may-be-exceptions-I-haven't-thought-of/encountered-yet-sexual?

Quote from: Edge on August 22, 2012, 08:15:13 PM
I mean, what can I label it with? Any-combination-of-the-following-personality-traits-and/or-physical-attributes *insert long list that I don't even know all of here*,-but-there-may-be-exceptions-I-haven't-thought-of/encountered-yet-sexual?

I burst out laughing at the last sentence. XD

I dunno I guess labeling sexuality is something I feel like I have to do because sometimes people ask, and it makes them less intimidated to approach someone if they know that person is straight or gay or bi. Im guessing other people feel similar. I know some gay people and straight people who will cop an attitude if someone who approaches them is a gender they're not into.