Hello,

I was wondering something, as far as my childhood goes i can hardly remember anything but i do remember some small things. Like TV shows i used to watch, i loved these a whole lot and only recently realised that they are mainly meant for women. I know of course that men can like them too. Anyway when i was around the age of 10-12 (i think) i used to love the show Sex and the City. It had lovely actors, especially Carrie. It had shopping, relationships and a good narration which i always liked.

After that came the show Clueless, i have really good memories of that one. It's about high school girls, comedy. Latest show i watched is H2O: Just add water. It's a incredibly fun show about three girls who turn into mermaids at a island of the coast of Australia called Mako Island.

I wonder what your opinions are about men watching shows that are feminine. I have been trying to look in my past for "signs" that i was always like this and this is one of the only things that come up. Surely boys could like those shows but i am wondering if it says something about me, maybe it means that i was always androgynous

Well I think being trans* is inborn. You don't actually "turn" trans, you just become aware of it.
I also have many childhood experiences.

--Jay Jay

As i understand it Androgynous means that you like/have aspects of both sex, and dress that way. Thus me watching very feminine shows like the one with mermaids shows that i always had interests the opposite sex is only "supposed" to have. Being Androgynous doesn't necessarily mean you're Transsexual.

Sylanor, I had a similar experience. I found myself liking TV shows, music, and movies mostly intended for females. Clueless was also one of my favorites. It's one of the pieces in the puzzle that I've begun putting together of who I am.

Here at Susan's you'll find Trangender (or Trans for short) often used to refer to any any type of gender variance. So Androgyny would be considered under the Trans umbrella.

That contrasts to Transsexual, which is taken to mean someone whose identified gender is opposite to the sex they were born to.

Welcome to Susan's. It sounds like you'll find a lot of people who had similar experiences to yours.

I'm glad you liked Clueless too, then you must know exactly what i'm talking about. Strange though about the "Trans" thing. I thought Trans stood for Transsexual or Transgender only. But i guess Androgyny falls under the category Transgender too. By the way i'm not exactly new to Susans, i had a other account but i cannot post on that one anymore. And family members could look my username up on google and read everything. Not fun, even though i'm out as a crossdresser already.

There are those of us who grow up wondering why they divide us into male and female, when our most salient identifier has nothing to do with gender and more to do with  the word "awesome."

Quote from: EmmaM on August 20, 2012, 02:23:00 AM
There are those of us who grow up wondering why they divide us into male and female, when our most salient identifier has nothing to do with gender and more to do with  the word "awesome."

I'm not so much wondering about my gender divide, as I am about how you managed to fit salient identifier and "awesome" into the same sentence. 

Ativan

Ativan Prescribed: cosigned! hahaa, that was a brilliant working of words, EmmaM

I guess i must be lacking in my english because i fail to see what this is about haha  Anyways i added "salient" to my dictionary now

I just wanted to throw in that you don't necessarily have to be attracted to Officially Girly™ things to be a woman (and therefore to be a trans woman) - my acceptance of my need to transition was delayed because of all the assumptions out there that being a trans woman was all about wanting to be feminine. I needed to encounter some nicely dykey women before I realised that's who I am . I consider myself female, but more androgyne when it comes to gender.

Watching She's A Boy I Knew was a big help.

Quote from: jazzedpeach79 on August 21, 2012, 05:04:49 AM
Ativan Prescribed: cosigned! hahaa, that was a brilliant working of words, EmmaM

One of Emma's salient identifiers is her abilities as a 'wordsmith'. 

Quote from: Ativan Prescribed on August 21, 2012, 09:49:14 AM
One of Emma's salient identifiers is her abilities as a 'wordsmith'. 

Truth. Verified. 

Quote from: Padma on August 21, 2012, 05:35:47 AM
I just wanted to throw in that you don't necessarily have to be attracted to Officially Girly™ things to be a woman (and therefore to be a trans woman) - my acceptance of my need to transition was delayed because of all the assumptions out there that being a trans woman was all about wanting to be feminine. I needed to encounter some nicely dykey women before I realised that's who I am . I consider myself female, but more androgyne when it comes to gender.

Watching She's A Boy I Knew was a big help.

Yeah i know that women exists in every size and every variation possible. But the thing is most Trans folk always seem to remember things from when they were 5 or whatever. Whilst i can't even remember past a month ago or something. That's why i was looking at old photo's and thinking about past obsessions to see if there is more to it than just something i acquired a few years ago. When you think about HRT for example you can't just say "Well i like the effects so why not?" Because there are downsides to it, you change your body forever and might get infertile. So how would i feel a few years down the road if one day i wake up and realise that i should be my biological gender.

That's why i was hoping to find clues in my past. I remember masculine stuff and only a few feminine things so i concluded that my past behaviours indicate that i am gender neutral.

Quote from: Sylanor on August 17, 2012, 07:16:32 PM
I have been trying to look in my past for "signs" that i was always like this and this is one of the only things that come up.

If you look in your past for anything, you will likely find it. People have a subconscious habit of passing things through filters until the result is what they want to see. Rose tinted spectacles etc.

Perhaps a more current evaluation of your life as it is now is the more accurate one to go by. After all, this is the life you're living, the here and now. People sometimes don't awaken to themselves until they're out of the period where one's life is being shaped by everyone else.

Live for the moment, not the memory.

That's a good post Sephirah. I am very familiar with the "pink fog" effect. I experienced it myself. But the main issue for me is is if i would have "solid" clues in my past i would be much more willing and confident to take HRT. At the moment i don't really know what i like best, i'm guessing i just love to be Androgynous at the moment. You see my body is getting more masculine and i am not sure if years down the road i will regret not having taken any action.

I think I always was, and among all my friends and relatives, I was the last to realise it.  But now I have, and I think it has made me a lot more content, and I'm happy as I am.