.....

Since when did you have to justify your feelings to anyone other than yourself?

Does what other people think about you mater one bit in the grand scheme of things?

I have met so many differant people that are so many differant flavors of trans.

You do not have to fit any ones mold other than your own.
No one but you can determine if you are trans or not. Not even your therapist can make that call. It is your call alone and no prima donna true transsexual has the right to tell you anything about you.

hugz and luv,
Cynthia Lee

 My sister is in a similar situation. I would think that, as long as she thinks she's female, that she should just do what makes her comfortable, and to go no further. There is no rush or need to do more than what makes one happy, and there is no need for justification or labels to determine if one should do those things in the first place.

What they said. Explore, enjoy, encounter yourself. Nothing wrong with trying on different labels to see how they fit, but as you suss yourself out, expect things to change too. Let it be exciting! And as for anyone who says "you can't call yourself xyz", just ignore them. No-one is anyone's official representative here.

Have you tried on "androgyne"? You might find that comfortable and stylish, you might not. But there's no reason not to call yourself trans as a working title, it pretty much covers "I'm this but I feel like that," and you can play with it from there.

I hope this is helpful rather than just whimsical - it's 5am here!

Quote from: DrillQuip on August 21, 2012, 08:34:02 PM
They made me feel like I did not belong in this community and outright said I was just looking for attention by calling myself trans*.

Anyone who would EVER say that to ANYONE under ANY circumstances is just evil. None could possibly be able to answer that question for someone else.

Feel free to ignore these busybodies (or anyone else who claims to know what someone else is going through better than they do.)

Quote from: DrillQuip on August 21, 2012, 08:34:02 PM

I am female, I consider my gender to be (at least mostly) female. I could get away with just calling myself a tomboy and be done with it, but there's something about my need to express masculinity that runs deeper then just dressing up and doing 'guy things'. Just thinking about getting a binder and having a flat chest makes me feel relieved. I was going to type 'happy' for a second there but that's inaccurate. Relief is the right word. I feel like having a deep voice, more muscle, a flat chest, packing, and being thought of as male is...I don't even know. I just have this urge to express myself this way. But when I sit down and just address the basic question: "What gender am I?" the answer is always female.

With exception of the fact that I'm male-bodied and feel a need to express female, you are describing exactly where I am right now. If it's any consolation to you, I am 100% certain I'm Trans.

One thing helped. I asked myself the question recently, "If you could not ever act masculine or express masculinity ever again in your life, how would you feel?" Despite considering myself male, I don't think I would mind at all. Then I asked myself "if you could not ever act feminine or express femininity ever again, how would you feel?" My answer was that I'd feel like a vital part of myself had been chopped off.

I found these answers very telling.

Good luck DQ. Hope this helps.

This puts me in mind of a Nietzsche quote:

"All things are subject to interpretation. Whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth."

Empower yourself. That's the key. Temet nosce - know thyself. Apply your own interpretation to your own life. Knowledge of what people believe it means to be transgendered is something which is all around you... however, really understanding what it means is something which is born within you. It's a personal journey of self-discovery. And something you have the ability to discern for yourself. People can tell you what they think, but you don't think their thoughts. Listen to your own, and your feelings. Then you'll find your answer.

When that happens, no one can take it away from you because it's something rooted in the core of your being. Something you have ownership of. An answer which is yours, found by you. That gives you the power to live your life true to that, regardless of what others may or may not think. They are not you.

Don't worry about it. I'm a tomboy. I like it. I get to hang out with all the guys. It's fun.

Quote from: DrillQuip on August 23, 2012, 09:18:10 AM
Sephirah: True. Maybe I should keep these feelings I have to myself in real life and just experiment before I tell anyone I'm trans* anymore. Online it's not so bad, you can just kill an account. But irl, it's more complicated.

good idea
figure it out before you tell anyone, if it turns out that you are able to resolve issues instead of transitioning, folks will never forget back when you told them you are considering transition

Quote from: cynthialee on August 23, 2012, 09:34:54 AM


good idea
figure it out before you tell anyone, if it turns out that you are able to resolve issues instead of transitioning, folks will never forget back when you told them you are considering transition

Very true.
Though I feel compelled to point out that being transgendered or considering transition are nothing to be ashamed of, any more than, say, being diabetic or being allergic to artichokes.

Quote from: agfrommd on August 23, 2012, 12:01:42 PM
Very true.
Though I feel compelled to point out that being transgendered or considering transition are nothing to be ashamed of, any more than, say, being diabetic or being allergic to artichokes.

I agree with that statement 100%. However people do not berate and shame diabetics or people with food alergies.

Quote from: cynthialee on August 23, 2012, 01:22:21 PM
I agree with that statement 100%. However people do not berate and shame diabetics or people with food alergies.

And they do berate and shame transgendered people, though hopefully a little less often as the world gains a better understanding of us.

It's hard to think of ways to speed up that process, but it's always occurred to me that acting proud of who we are is a start.

Course, I understand those who are genderally private people and prefer to keep all their medical conditions to themselves.

That sounds like potentially a good idea - though be prepared for some people in trans* groups to have their own agendas, you may well have to contend with people applying subtle pressure for you to declare yourself as this or that, to do this or that when you're not ready to.

No, I do think it's a good idea to go to support groups - I just meant: don't let yourself be pushed around by people with rigid ideas about what it means to be trans or questioning, or 'hierarchy" (shudder). You may meet some like that as well as people who are just open and supportive. I didn't mean to discourage you, just kind of forewarn you .

Quote from: Cindi Jones on August 22, 2012, 09:03:54 PM
Don't worry about it. I'm a tomboy. I like it. I get to hang out with all the guys. It's fun.

What Cindi said! 
  Joelene