Howdy!
So first, I'll start by saying there's no cut and dry "standard narrative" of being transgendered. There is no exact formula - look around the forums and you will have find every person has a different experience and opinion of what it means to them. For every single person there is a unique set of experiences, opinions and circumstances. Fundamentally this community is just as diverse as any other one, we just happen to have gender/genital disagreements in common. So, don't worry if your experiences don't mesh up with someone else's. There is really no litmus test.
The idea of having to go through a "costumary lesbian phase" is silly. I've never been attracted to women and never had any inclination to experiment in that direction - I'm solely into guys. I'm not sure that there is a standard way to have a straight relationship at all, either. Every relationship is a different animal. So, don't worry about that either. Its totally fine to identify as male and be interested in men even if you are biologically female. I'm a gay trans guy and I'm married to a gay man, so it's not unheard of at all. So don't use who you are attracted to to define your gender.
How did I know I was trans? A lot of research and self reflection. Having body issues does not mean you are for sure trans or not. Everyone has some sort of body image issue whether they admit it or not - its just part of being human. I had no concept of gender when I was a kid - I was just a kid. I didn't even think about it until after my brother was born and I realized that there were actually biological differences. I knew I never fit into the typical "girl" role, but the idea of transition didn't even hit me until I was 19 and working in a pharmacy and met a patient who was transitioning from male to female. Meeting her was really my wake up call that transition was even a thing. I always hated my chest and I certainly put it through the wringer when I was younger, but I always assumed that it was just like some people don't like their noses or their legs or their hair color. So, I started reading everything I could find about this mystical thing called "transgender". It was a four year process for me. For some its quicker and for some its longer. A lot of folks realize young and a lot realize later in life. My advice would be to look around the forums and think about it. Reflect on yourself. Try using male names and pronouns for yourself in your head. If that feels right, then it might be a good idea to seek out a therapist to talk to.
It felt right for me to use male pronouns, a male name and to be a man. It just clicked. It was my "ah-ha!" moment. The decision to transition for me personally was one that I thought long and hard about. Its why it took me four years to even contact a therapist. Was it worth the changes to my life? Was it worth potentially losing my husband? Family? Friends? What about the future - would I be able to get a job? In the end, it was yes and it hasn't been nearly as terrifying as I thought. Its actually been incredibly easy as far as my daily life, my friends and my husband. Family is a different story, but I was surprised at the ease that most of my family as just accepted it as me being me. The way I view it is like this - the hurdles and challenges I face are just different from someone else's. Being viewed as trans or gay hasn't made my life easier or harder, its just changed the hurdles I have to face and some of the things I take into consideration.
It is something that you want to be sure about - transition does leave permanent changes and its not something you can get buyers remorse about later. Its not a race to figure yourself out. Take your time, do research, think about it and take it at your own pace. That is my best advice. If transition is something that you think you may want to look into, contact a therapist that has some knowledge of trans issues.
