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being seen as female

Started by jainie marlena, August 23, 2012, 11:10:17 PM

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jainie marlena

The body builder guy let me know that the new guy that I am training is using she and her when he is speaking about me. Luckily I know better than to assume he sees me as a man like I did the last person I trained. Lol. The only problem I see now is all the he and him that is being said by everyone that knows me there.

However; it was good to know how he sees me now. I wounder how long until he picks up on them saying he and him? :embarrassed:

UCBerkeleyPostop

This is at your place of employment? If so, using incorrect pronouns is clearly sexual harassment.
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jainie marlena

This all new here. I was glad to just get to use women's restroom. How so? I would love to change how they speak to me. But I don't want start crap. I have said something about it hurt me but just got that" old habbits die hard." What should I do?

grrl1nside

I'm not really sure what to say... I'm glad that your client is identifying you properly but I'm sorry that others don't seem to be respecting your wishes. Are your colleagues identifying you properly or choosing to let old habits linger? If they shift and are consistent then it might help to change the responses of the clients who will hopefully begin to respect your changes. I'm not a very pushy person so I'm the type to search for allies wherever I can find them. Maybe you can get a few people at a time to make the positive change and work constructively with the others and management to help the rest along the way. I'm sure others will have some helpful advice for you.

Until then, I wish you much peace.
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Julie Wilson

Today I was trimming some branches out of my tree and my neighbor told me I am Paul Bunyan.

I am pretty sure Paul Bunyan was a He.  I consider being compared to men in this way tantamount to being misgendered.  But I have become an angry, bitter person who assumes the worst.
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AbraCadabra

#5
Some say: "Free sex ruins everything..."
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jainie marlena

Quote from: grrl1nside on August 24, 2012, 10:42:24 PM
I'm not really sure what to say... I'm glad that your client is identifying you properly but I'm sorry that others don't seem to be respecting your wishes. Are your colleagues identifying you properly or choosing to let old habits linger? If they shift and are consistent then it might help to change the responses of the clients who will hopefully begin to respect your changes. I'm not a very pushy person so I'm the type to search for allies wherever I can find them. Maybe you can get a few people at a time to make the positive change and work constructively with the others and management to help the rest along the way. I'm sure others will have some helpful advice for you.

Until then, I wish you much peace.
about 2 weeks ago I was work in the plant on 3rd shift that side has many gays and lesbians. They used she and her there. I maybe moved over there or something seeing that the 2nd shift in the yard is being done away with.

lilacwoman

act female and correct anyone who misgenderers you and pretty soon all but the most stupid bigots will treat you as a woman.

management should get the bigots together and tell them to be nice to you.


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lilacwoman

#8
Paul Bunyan the lumberjack?

Over here a few years ago was a stupid song about 'lumberjack, wears high heels etc'.
Recently a guy came into office and mentioned going to a drag club and the drag queens singing it. 
I said 'Stop! that is transphobic and we have a zero tolerance policy!'  He stopped real quick but mumbled it was just a bit of fun.   I said if I ever hear it again I'll report you and you'll be down the road.



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AbbyJamz

I know this is unrelated to the topic, but I hope you are doing well. I know you were going through a rough patch a little while ago.  Hope all is well!
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Beth Andrea

Quote from: jainie marlena on August 23, 2012, 11:10:17 PM
The body builder guy let me know that the new guy that I am training is using she and her when he is speaking about me. Luckily I know better than to assume he sees me as a man like I did the last person I trained. Lol. The only problem I see now is all the he and him that is being said by everyone that knows me there.

However; it was good to know how he sees me now. I wounder how long until he picks up on them saying he and him? :embarrassed:

Be sure to thank him for using the correct pronouns, and maybe mention how the other people don't, which hurts you. Obviously one's gender is a *very* intimate detail, and deliberately saying the wrong thing is, well, wrong. It hurts.

Get him on your side, and he'll be more likely to support you when you're not there, and not give in to the herd mentality.
...I think for most of us it is a futile effort to try and put this genie back in the bottle once she has tasted freedom...

--read in a Tessa James post 1/16/2017
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jainie marlena

Quote from: ConfusedCJ on August 26, 2012, 03:22:02 PM
I know this is unrelated to the topic, but I hope you are doing well. I know you were going through a rough patch a little while ago.  Hope all is well!
things are getting better a little at a time. fall is coming soon I will pass again. getting through summer has always been hard. maybe next summer my body will look more girly.

Quote from: Beth Andrea on August 26, 2012, 03:29:24 PM
Be sure to thank him for using the correct pronouns, and maybe mention how the other people don't, which hurts you. Obviously one's gender is a *very* intimate detail, and deliberately saying the wrong thing is, well, wrong. It hurts.

Get him on your side, and he'll be more likely to support you when you're not there, and not give in to the herd mentality.
good idea. I will.
Quote from: lilacwoman on August 26, 2012, 01:45:35 PM
act female and correct anyone who misgenderers you and pretty soon all but the most stupid bigots will treat you as a woman.

management should get the bigots together and tell them to be nice to you.
I know I am going to have do this or it will never stop. I better start soon or when it get to be to much for me I may come off the wrong way about it.

Alyx.

Quote from: lilacwoman on August 26, 2012, 01:45:35 PM
act female

How does one act female? Sometimes I wonder if I give off total dude vibes.
If you do not agree to my demands... TOO LATE
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justmeinoz

Good to hear it seems to just keep getting better for you sis.

"Don't ask me, it was on fire when I lay down on it"
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jainie marlena

I thanked him yesterday for using the correct pronouns and started correcting those that don't. so far so good.

Beth Andrea

Quote from: lilacwoman on August 26, 2012, 01:52:25 PM
Paul Bunyan the lumberjack?

Over here a few years ago was a stupid song about 'lumberjack, wears high heels etc'.
Recently a guy came into office and mentioned going to a drag club and the drag queens singing it. 
I said 'Stop! that is transphobic and we have a zero tolerance policy!'  He stopped real quick but mumbled it was just a bit of fun.   I said if I ever hear it again I'll report you and you'll be down the road.

That's a Monty Python song (from their TV (television, not...) show iirc...). It is funny, if done by DQ's. But if it's used to make fun of transsexuals....well, like anything that "makes fun of" anybody, it's very rude.
...I think for most of us it is a futile effort to try and put this genie back in the bottle once she has tasted freedom...

--read in a Tessa James post 1/16/2017
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