I Played mums and dads etc as the mother or the girl character , since I made up the games for my 2 sisters and 2 brothers, I played with a purple and pink teddy bear , I did miss out on a lot, but as a kid I didn't take real notice since I did what i wanted. As for being jealous of teenage girls , I am but I'm not , being a quiet acting male that had to take in everything and not go through the teenage girl experience, which I watched with most girls at school and sisters e.c.t was so many dumb things , not envious really. Maybe I have a hint of jealous for fact I had poison running through me for which I have to do a lot of work to get rid of the effects. But overall not really jealous at all. - Worded better

Well, I've been thinking about it some more, and while I'm grateful for the fact that being raised as a boy gave me the life I have now, the friends I have now, and made me the person I am now, I honestly think it would have been nice and much easier if I were just born a girl and raised as such. So in a word, YES: I am jealous of little girls and even of teenage girls with all their drama, for some reason.

Yes, particularly because i went to a catholic school thru 7th grade where they separated us by gender for everything. Then i switched to public thru highschool where i just wished i was able to grow up like the girls i around me. I finally got smart and stopped wasting time but it still took me a while to accept myself. And thats what it sorta comes down to for me. At the end of the day i wasnt ready until i was. So it is what it is, just think of the future now

I'm sometimes intensely jealous of every little detail that I missed, every moment, every thing that most females take for granted, because everytime I saw a girl do this or that I felt this inner anger burning inside and it killed me then, and obviously still does. At least from time to time. Just the romantic things, or the more simple, day to day stuff. This dress, that summer vacation, the music festival that I would've like to go to the way I really am.

I only hope to be able to do these things in the future, and get rid of the burden as well as purely enjoy myself to the fullest. And kick some ass in the meantime.

Yes i do feel a little jealous. Growing up i did mostly girl things but i was a boy. Going through school they separated boys into one group girls into another and i felt like an outsider. I'm glad they dint do that in college, they do but its not like boys go into one group girls go into another and discuss your feelings and stuff.

oddly enough when i started accepting myself for who I really am, i went into a sort of "little girl mode" for some reason i started clutching my blanket my grandma gave me and my little dalmation named "major" (named after my childhood dog) and started speaking like a little girl, at least when I was all by myself in my room. I said words like "foo foo" and "everything had an s on the end and i was acting real strange and felt totally ultra femme, like someone hit me with a femme laser or something"

anyways that wore off now and im more like in my teenage mode now.

Quote from: Shawn Sunshine on September 01, 2012, 06:18:16 PM
oddly enough when i started accepting myself for who I really am, i went into a sort of "little girl mode" for some reason i started clutching my blanket my grandma gave me and my little dalmation named "major" (named after my childhood dog) and started speaking like a little girl, at least when I was all by myself in my room. I said words like "foo foo" and "everything had an s on the end and i was acting real strange and felt totally ultra femme, like someone hit me with a femme laser or something"

anyways that wore off now and im more like in my teenage mode now.

Well, you're probably just making up for lost time? I adopted some girly habits before I even accepted myself as trans. Heck, my favorite teddy bear is a giant 4.5 foot bear named Mr. Snuggles.

I bet He is snuggly soft" 

I do sleep with a cloth doll that I named Rachel.
She is about the size of a small baby and I love to fall asleep hugging her.
I would not want to go to bed without her.
Maybe it's the little girl in me that has missed so much of growing up.

Quote from: Shawn Sunshine on September 01, 2012, 06:37:37 PM
I bet He is snuggly soft" 

He is soft. Whenever I play with my stuffed animals, I always feel like I'm filling a gap from my childhood, especially when I have tea parties. My little cousin let me wear the tiara. I felt like a princess .

Do I think I missed out on anything? Yes.
Mostly the acceptance of children around me and family.

I was a ballet dancer and I was the only boy of the entire academy of about 500+, I had only about 3 friends (girls) and the rest looked down on me with disgust and rejected me solely because I was male. I was a "dirty trouble making boy" so the parents would say. When in fact I was very nice and friendly.

Even with my family, I was loud, hyper, curious and chatty. Everyone thought I was weird. VERY WEIRD. But I firmly believe if I was a little girl with long black hair and bangs it would have come across as charming and cute. I just feel like being a little boy made me weird, the fact that I wasn't a little girl was the problem.

I always thought that there were to many rules in being a boy, girls could do anything, act any way, wear whatever they wanted. I always felt left out.

Quote from: ~RoadToTrista~ on July 07, 2012, 06:31:15 AM
Not really, it bothers me more when I look at teenage girls. My childhood was happy, things didn't go downhill until I hit puberty.

I am in the same boat, I was always feminine but in a boyish way. Not hyper crazy funny voice.

Oddly enough guys in school sometimes felt this need to protect me O-o because I was tiny and innocent!

Puberty hit me like a bat though.... and I wish I could turn back time as a girl.  I missed my life hiding myself, and now I am in my 20s and regret it. 

I never had problems with people, I was still liked but I didn't like myself, I never felt comfortable with me.

I'm FTM, but I dislike small boys immensely.  I wouldn't be surprised if that has something to do with it.   

Well i kinda didnt know the difference of a boy and a girl till i started getting picked on in the third grade. Thats when it all went downhill . I thought i was a girl but my eyes was broke so i couldnt see my real self, so i thought. Lol. Even tho im nineteen, i still missed out on my first period and other girly things when i was younger...so yes...sometimes i do get sad.

Quote from: DianaP on September 01, 2012, 09:05:02 PM


He is soft. Whenever I play with my stuffed animals, I always feel like I'm filling a gap from my childhood, especially when I have tea parties. My little cousin let me wear the tiara. I felt like a princess .

I don't know how I missed this image, I used to have a snuggly buddy when I was like 6-8 years old!  I lost most of them by taking them into the bath tub xD  I cried when they were thrown out O-o on the inside.  I was good at carnival games x3

Yes - Definitely without a doubt.

Teenage years were the worst - its like your life has been stolen from you...

PS: now I miss my old teddy bear I used to love that thing and had it till I was 9-10.
Think I still had till a few years ago. Now I wanna go look for it.

Honestly, not really.

Today I actually really like who I'm becoming. I don't think I would be anywhere close to here had I grown up in the "right" all along. I'm a product of my past. There were definitely some bad moments growing up that left their mark on me. That said there were good ones too and I don't think that I'd want to give up those good memories. All together my past is what shaped me into me.

This is a very interesting conversation.
I remember that when I first started to transition, I always felt jealous of the things my Cis girlfriends talked about of growing up , their first kiss, discovering boys (and girls), girly things. Then one day one of my girlfriends suggested hypnotism. So I signed with this lady in North L:onion. I ended up having 10 sessions with her over many weeks. Basically she put me under and then put all these thoughts in my head of days growing up as a young girl. Many of these were her own experiences.

This all helped in my transition as I had these "implanted " memories and when later on being out with cis gendered women who only knew me as JudithLynn, I had "real"  girly experiences to talk about.

Hugs
JudithLynn

You know I was thinking about this the other day. This used to be one of the killer dysphoric things for me, that even going full time didn't help. That and the whole not having a womb thing.

I had GRS in Montreal last May, and I realized the other day... I haven't had those feelings of missing out since then. And the womb thing. That is gone too. It surprises me actually, as I didn't think GRS would change how I felt about what I missed, but I suppose it's just feeling more at home with my body and my self, and feeling like I can just get on with my life now?

Either that or the whole distraction of dealing with healing (and all the other stupid stresses that have come into my life lately) gives me no time or energy to wonder what it would have been like!

Yes alot of the time, i daydream about it alot. Why did I have to be born in the wrong gender. "sigh"