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Taking the Easy Way Out?

Started by Constance, August 27, 2012, 09:54:00 PM

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Constance

So last week while walking to the grocery store, I passed through this small park-like area that's the most direct way to the store. Really, it probably saves me 2 minutes of walking, but that's a the way I usually go. Last week while passing through there I got to here, "Is that a man or a woman?"

A few months earlier, somebody said directly to me, "Sup, dude."

Today, I took the "long way" around. Like I said, it's only a minute or 2 longer. On my way back, I was heading toward the park-thing when I saw a large group of people who looked like the ones who questioned my appearance last week. I turned and went down the sidewalk, taking the long way around.

I'm conflicted about doing this. I could've just plowed on through like last time, hoping that I wouldn't be mocked or addressed. But, I chose the easy way out by going the long way and avoiding confrontation. I'm not sure what to think of myself for doing this.

Ms. OBrien CVT

QuoteBut, I chose the easy way out by going the long way and avoiding confrontation. I'm not sure what to think of myself for doing this.

You did what any woman would do.  Just to protect ourselves.  Nothing wrong with that.

  
It does not take courage or bravery to change your gender.  It takes fear of living one more day in the wrong one.~me
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Erica

Quote from: Ms. OBrien on August 27, 2012, 11:04:11 PM
You did what any woman would do.  Just to protect ourselves.  Nothing wrong with that.

Definitely. 
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Constance

HA! I should've realized that. The macho stuff is a thing of the past.

V M

What? You didn't give them a taste of


Just kidding, you didn't take the easy way out you took the intelligent way of avoiding unnecessary conflict with a group of possibly threatening people

Quote from: Ms. OBrien on August 27, 2012, 11:04:11 PM
You did what any woman would do.  Just to protect ourselves.  Nothing wrong with that.

Agreed
The main things to remember in life are Love, Kindness, Understanding and Respect - Always make forward progress

Superficial fanny kissing friends are a dime a dozen, a TRUE FRIEND however is PRICELESS


- V M
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Ayden

Quote from: Ms. OBrien on August 27, 2012, 11:04:11 PM
You did what any woman would do.  Just to protect ourselves.  Nothing wrong with that.

Growing up, this was always something my parents told me to do. I'm having the opposite problem in that I still do that instead of manning up and walking through. You did exactly what any woman would do.
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justmeinoz

Quote from: Ayden on August 28, 2012, 12:18:03 AM
You did exactly what any woman would do.

You could also follow up with a phone call a bit later,  to the Police reporting suspicious characters loitering.  >:-)
"Don't ask me, it was on fire when I lay down on it"
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Kelly J. P.

 I've done the same, though for different reasons. I avoid groups of people by principle, as I am very uncomfortable being around them. As such, I take alternate routes quite regularly, relative to the number of times I actually go outside.
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Cindy

Sounds very sensible. I avoid crowd of youths for the same reason. Why place myself in danger?
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Padma

Aye, it's not the "easy way", it's the caring way.
Womandrogyneâ„¢
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Constance

Thanks, folks. I guess there's still a few of David's habits that Connie has to leave behind.

Constance

So today I took the long way again and all was well. Until I was checking out. I was buying wine so the checker asked to see my ID. No big deal, I guess, and I showed it to him. He checked my birth year and said, "69? That's a great number."

I felt really uncomfortable and just left quickly.

When I got home, I called the store and reported it as borderline sexual harassment.

Michelle G

I taught both my daughters to be aware of their surroundings and take the long way if needed, that includes walking or driving btw.
My youngest at 29 weighs about 95 lbs and is a cute pixy of a thing, but I pity the fool who messes with her! She took bitch lessons from her mother and can phisically protect herself like I've never seen before ;)

You did the right thing Connie!
Just a "California Girl" trying to enjoy each sunny day
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Constance


Ayden

Quote from: justmeinoz on August 28, 2012, 03:47:29 AM
You could also follow up with a phone call a bit later,  to the Police reporting suspicious characters loitering.  >:-)

Oh man, I had someone do the "pull out the cell phone" when I was walking down the road behind her. It hit me later that I must have been passing pretty well. Gave me a good laugh since I remember doing the same thing once when I was 17 and walking home. But, if Connie called the police and knowing my luck I'd be in the park and get stopped for acting suspiscious. My best "be a man" act needs a bit of work.  :laugh: It consists of a lot of stiff legged walking and shifty eyes to see if anyone notices.

Quote from: Connie Anne on August 28, 2012, 09:34:20 PM
So today I took the long way again and all was well. Until I was checking out. I was buying wine so the checker asked to see my ID. No big deal, I guess, and I showed it to him. He checked my birth year and said, "69? That's a great number."

I felt really uncomfortable and just left quickly.

When I got home, I called the store and reported it as borderline sexual harassment.

Wow, that's special. Apparently someone needs to learn how to interact with people. Good for you for calling him out on it! I can't imagine saying something like that to anyone I didn't know (friends don't count, we're awful to each other), let alone to a lady.
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lilacwoman

#15

for my writing I need to go look at old houses, buildings and other locations and I have a really good look around for potential troublemakers before getting out of public sight.

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Constance

The store manager mentioned that there would be "disciplinary action" taken against the checker, and now I'm a little afraid to go back to that store. This is a bit of a bugger as the store is one of 2 that I walk past on my daily commute. It's the only grocery store within an easy walk of home. There is another store I can use, but it's a bit far if I've got a lot to carry.

Really, what do I fear? Well, possible retaliation. I think I might lay low for a little while, and use other stores.

Ms. OBrien CVT

No you will not Connie!     You will continue to shop at that store and you will do it without fear.

Don't let one person chase you out.   He may have done it to other women and you must stand your ground for all women who shop there.

  
It does not take courage or bravery to change your gender.  It takes fear of living one more day in the wrong one.~me
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Constance

Quote from: Ms. OBrien on August 29, 2012, 10:27:01 AM
No you will not Connie!     You will continue to shop at that store and you will do it without fear.

Don't let one person chase you out.   He may have done it to other women and you must stand your ground for all women who shop there.
Uh, yes Ma'am!  :-\

Nero

There's nothing wrong with laying low from that store for awhile. You did your part by reporting him. At first I didn't think what he said was a big deal, but then realized I'd be pissed if some store clerk said that to my mother or sister.
Nero was the Forum Admin here at Susan's Place for several years up to the time of his death.
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