hi fellas,  this may sound weird but do any of you have a fear of talking to or meeting girls, (or guys if that what you like). you see i always figured i was  just not into dating, or anything but then the hormones kicked in and well i find myself attracted to girls,but i have an extreamly bad fear that i'm not what they expect, i want to be able to meet a girl and have a relationship but it's like some part of my brain is missing and i don't know how to meet girls, act around  girls or talk to girls.

I'm not sure how old you are, but I used to be quite shy, that changed once I got into college but I had several years of awkward half sentences and staring blankly while I tried to figure out what to say. When I met my partner, I was a nervous, stuttering sweaty wreck.  I remember I had no clue how to talk to him.  The best advice I can give is just try, try and try some more. Like anything, learning to talk to people is a skill that we have to develop through years of practice. Oddly enough, I learned how to talk to people from hanging out in the smoking break room at my old job and the smokers corner on my campus. Smokers are a pretty talkative bunch. BUT - I am not recommending that you take up smoking. Its a nasty habit.  Really though, it does just take practice. Its like learning how to ice skate (a littler harder than riding a bike, but can be done). You'll fall and screw up a bit, but eventually you will be able to hold yourself up and pretty soon you'll be able to hold your own and get out in the crowd.

If you don't have stage fright, you could always join an improve group or something theatrical - my husband is actually a very quiet and shy person, but he learned how to act because he was always so reserved and shy. It worked wonders for him. I've always sort of just charged in bull-in-a-glass-store, especially when its something that makes me nervous. So, not sure how much help it is, but that is my two cents.

Just practice. I can generally talk to women unless I like them an awful, awful lot - that's because my classes were almost all composed of women when I went to school. They're just another human in the end.

I have trouble talking to women too, which is why I thank God on a regular basis that I'm gay xD. I swear, they can smell my fear @_@... I think I'm just scared that they judge me or something XP. That usually subsides when I'm the only person in class that understand what the hell our professor just said and I'm stuck translating it to some form of human dialect xD. In that case they suddenly love me, and they get to know me :'P. It could also subside if we find ourselves into the same hobby or sick sense of humor :'D!

My advice is basically for you to find girls you have something in common with. This can usually be achieved through clubs, gatherings, mutual friends, classes, volunteer work, and your local county jail if you're into that sort of thing and still legally female :'P. I do not recommend the last one for countless reasons XP. As for how to act, it's quite obvious you should be yourself, but the challenge is to get past those nerves so you can xD. One thing you can do is try not to see them as a possible dating prospect, instead see them as just another complex organic being. If you're straight, you could try to see them as another guy and act around them like you would with one (gender-less works too :'P). I'm not sure what else since at this point I've resorted to cupcakes XP.

It's a bit of a dilemma.

I never had much success trying to relate to girls while trying to fill the male role, so trying to meet women, as a woman is a bit of a puzzle too.  I don't fear them though, just not quite sure how to proceed. 

Now that I have sorted a lot of issues from my past, I have got over my aversion to men associated with my own gender issues.  I find that I do have an attraction to men, and probably aleays did have, just repressed. Now I am comfortable with a bisexual identity rather than seeing myself as a lesbian.  There is a certain amount of nervousness and caution here, so I am not going to try anything pro-active with a man I do not know as a friend first.

I feel like I understand, and can relate to women, but never really understood men, and still don't.   At least I have some idea of what is going on in their heads though, which helps I guess. 

I am letting things take their course, as I figure that for someone to have a relationship with me pre/non-op is a bit of a challenge.  Hopefully someone who has got to know me as a friend will not see any  physical anomaly as a bar to a relationship.  It would be nice to have someone to share the changes surgery will bring, rather than doing it alone (friends notwithstanding) though.

Karen.

Just be yourself, hon. Do your thing and have fun doing it.

I can't speak for every woman, but personally I like people who are comfortable with themselves and don't try to act like someone they're not just to impress. I find it easier to strike up a conversation with someone when I don't have to strip away the layers of "okay, this is obviously for my benefit", and can get straight to the "hmm, so this is who they are, interesting. I'd like to know more."

You may find you attract more attention from women if you don't actively look for it, and instead just go out, do things you enjoy doing and really just make your mark in the world.

If you have a nice smile that helps, and of course you can never go wrong with a good sense of humor (even if its a bit cheesey) with most girls. Find girls that you would be interested in that you know you'd have more in common with than just her looks, and go from there. Be nice, but not overly friendly, show some mystery, never move anything too fast, sometimes girls would rather have a listener than someone too talkative so its not a terribly bad thing if you aren't good with words, as long as you try to keep conversation interesting which is why you want to find a girl with similar interests. I find girls to actually be a lot easier to talk to, which I usually break the ice with humor and flash the smile.

Quote from: Darth_Taco on August 31, 2012, 06:01:20 AM
I have trouble talking to women too, which is why I thank God on a regular basis that I'm gay xD. I swear, they can smell my fear @_@... I think I'm just scared that they judge me or something XP. That usually subsides when I'm the only person in class that understand what the hell our professor just said and I'm stuck translating it to some form of human dialect xD. In that case they suddenly love me, and they get to know me :'P. It could also subside if we find ourselves into the same hobby or sick sense of humor :'D!

My advice is basically for you to find girls you have something in common with. This can usually be achieved through clubs, gatherings, mutual friends, classes, volunteer work, and your local county jail if you're into that sort of thing and still legally female :'P. I do not recommend the last one for countless reasons XP. As for how to act, it's quite obvious you should be yourself, but the challenge is to get past those nerves so you can xD. One thing you can do is try not to see them as a possible dating prospect, instead see them as just another complex organic being. If you're straight, you could try to see them as another guy and act around them like you would with one (gender-less works too :'P). I'm not sure what else since at this point I've resorted to cupcakes XP.

Quote from: Adam_ on August 31, 2012, 10:21:22 AM
If you have a nice smile that helps, and of course you can never go wrong with a good sense of humor (even if its a bit cheesey) with most girls. Find girls that you would be interested in that you know you'd have more in common with than just her looks, and go from there. Be nice, but not overly friendly, show some mystery, never move anything too fast, sometimes girls would rather have a listener than someone too talkative so its not a terribly bad thing if you aren't good with words, as long as you try to keep conversation interesting which is why you want to find a girl with similar interests. I find girls to actually be a lot easier to talk to, which I usually break the ice with humor and flash the smile.

I can relate. I understand everything so easily and I helped so many girls through trigonometry, calculus, physics, and biology. The ladies love the smart guys (at least the ones I've met, but then again, I go to a specialized school, so smart = cool here). I don't want to give any specific advice since not all girls like the same thing. The only thing I can say is to be yourself, otherwise the girls would only see you as the person you put in front of them rather than you and it's not worth the effort to keep track of how to act with each friend. Now I've never been too shy, so I never had a problem talking to anyone. Just talk to them like you would anyone else. Come up, say "Hi, my name is ____, what's your's?", then work from there.

Remember, we're all just carbon-based lifeforms. 

yes I feel its much harder talking to girls..

when I was younger I found it kinda easy, and I still do if there just friends.. But if its someone I feel slightly attractive and dont know well then I get nervous.
I think its about steryotypes and the expectations.

for men its more "equal" if your a guy and attracted to another guy, theres no man or women relationship, so your not really to do something special or be a special role.
for women its more like some of them expect you to do certain thing. your expected to pay the bill, and be the one who ask her out. I dont really like that, at times I dont mind but at times its also annoying..

Not to mentiont I feel its so much more easy reading if some guys are interesteed in me than girls,
with girls they keep there things in there mind so I dont know if they like or hate me unless they trow there boobs in my face.
for guys there simple its just.. straight away "your hot lets F***"

or maybe I been hanging out with the wrong types XD
haha...
--------------
I forgot to mention I am so bad to charm. I usunally say some kinda bad things..

I once told a girl she had more bear than me, or that her smell reminded me of fish.
I also been slapped by a girl..
girls are dangerous to flirt with
LOL..

Quote from: Natkat on August 31, 2012, 02:11:01 PM
yes I feel its much harder talking to girls..

when I was younger I found it kinda easy, and I still do if there just friends.. But if its someone I feel slightly attractive and dont know well then I get nervous.
I think its about steryotypes and the expectations.

for men its more "equal" if your a guy and attracted to another guy, theres no man or women relationship, so your not really to do something special or be a special role.
for women its more like some of them expect you to do certain thing. your expected to pay the bill, and be the one who ask her out. I dont really like that, at times I dont mind but at times its also annoying..

Not to mentiont I feel its so much more easy reading if some guys are interesteed in me than girls,
with girls they keep there things in there mind so I dont know if they like or hate me unless they trow there boobs in my face.
for guys there simple its just.. straight away "your hot lets F***"

LOL.. or maybe I been hanging out with the wrong types XD
haha...

I feel the same way about the stereotype thing. If i like a guy, I'll ask him out. Who cares? Now, if a guy actually said the bold above, I might actually give him my number just for having the balls to say something so direct...

I have a fear of meeting new girls especially ones who rnt gay friendly lol. I consider myself a straight man so it's hard to talk to them when they see me as a girl since I'm pre T so most of the time they r weirded out... But I'm very fortunate to be social haha but the main tip!!

1. Smile
2. Sense of humor
3. Most girls love weird guys. (this is how I got my partner today.) haha because its like we would sacrifice our embarrassment for them to laugh at least that's what my girlfriend says haha.

All those work for friends too. I always have pplz wanting to hang out with me because I'm very bubbly so I'm fun to be around.

im friends with alot of girls so no im not afraid but im very afraid to go any further then friends with a girl who i have history with.

Girls scare the sh!t out of me. I've been single since May 2008.. and to be maybe a lil too honest, haven't had sex since 4/20/08. My first and only girlfriend and I sort of broke up like, right after that. It was the end of my senior freshman year of college and she was a senior graduating and going to the peace core so, yea. Anyways, I got together with her by accident. I was at this dance and kept sort of looking her way all night but was too scared to talk to her. So at the very end she like rubs up on me and tells me to be more brave next time. So I went and found her having a cigarette outside (brought a buddy with me as a safety net haha) and she invited me to after party at her place. I got a lot more liquid courage in me at the party ( couldn't really drink at the dance, just hidden swigs from a friends flask) anywho, I got more confident after I was drunk and by the end of the night we were hooking up on the couch. Great night, lol. We exchanged numbers and somehow I was able to ignore my anxiety and be smooth when she texted me soon after. We were together for only three months though. And it took half that time for me to work up the courage to have sex with her (she had had wayy more experience than me). So that's that unnecessary story for anyone that cares. And now for when things get really bad. A girl I met while I was still with my first girlfriend, who had a crush on me, but I selfishly looked her by at first. It took me a while to realize how amazing she was and by the end of the school year, just a few week after my girlfriend and I broke up, I had a crush on her too but was too chicken->-bleeped-<- to really tell her how I felt. We stayed friends but I didn't know how to talk to her when I went out of state for the summer. I don't know what happened, or how it got so bad, or really how she couldn't see how much it was going to hurt all of us, but she attempted twice, before finally committing suicide on August 5th 2008, just 15 days before I was supposed to return to school and see her again. I haven't been the same since and my troubles and insecurities when it comes to talking/flirting with girls increased to the nth degree. Sometimes I'm scared I'll never get over it and be alone forever and it just like I said before, it scares the sh!t out of me.

  well girls here look at me like i coming from an other world cause its not common to be ftm or gay here and i always have wierd questions from them like r u a girl or boy why u look like that and thats really ennoying thats why i stop talk to girls i mean iam tired of this game if a girl likes me then she better come talk to me i dont care anymore