I have been reading posts on here for over a year - not really sure why I have joined....
I have a wife and one 16 year old child, a beautiful daughter. That makes me late 30's and scared, very scared.
I have known from early childhood that something wasn't 'right' - but I didn't know what. I was called gay by many at school - but i wasn't - what a confuser!
So, fast forward to now - having worked with a MTF, a number of gay guys and lesbians, lived a little, got fired on purpose - twice, let my teeth go bad, suffered depression for a while, picked myself up, and finally able to accept I am who I am.
No one knows - or so I like to think. I have always had my nails long - say 1/4 to 3/8ths past the end of my fingers - I does sometimes raise direct questions. I always answer the truth, I like them long and use them to do things and protect the ends of my fingers.
My wife tells me I talk like a woman.
When I had been with her one year she (oddly?) asked me to put on a dress of hers so she could see what it looked like. I said 'this is silly' and when I did put it on she burst into tears. That ended with her telling me she didn't want me to be a woman. That was just weird............
I run like a woman - many have had a laugh at that.
Oh, and I have boobs - well, kind of - something like an A - and I have 'something' around the nipples - can feel them under the skin.
To top it off - I am an ape man. Hair, hair and more hair. Legs and chest sometimes get shaved.... so.....
I have been dressing for years - usual buy/throw cycles. Up until 3 months ago I had never even been outside.
Things are changing now, I have found it to be true - generally people really don't care - thats good.
I am going for laser on my face/neck this week.
And I'm still not out to anyone - except you!
Sarah - who wishes she had been born either a man or a woman. Either would have been just fine thanks.
