Er... wondering how you guys went about this in your transition.

I went in this weekend to get a haircut.  First time since December, I wanted it like Spiderman's from the most recent movie.  I thought he looked cool.  So i told the hairdresser, she hadn't seen it so i tried to describe.  I said I wanted it really short with a little length so i could "hide" if needed.  Told her didn't want to have to brush it, just wake up and run my fingers through my hair and it would be done.  She said "I don't do that".

Needless to say I won't be going back... it was cut to just below my ears.  I'm thinking of finding someone else in a couple of months and getting it cut super short.  Should i just go to a barber next time?  I'm no where close to passing yet... don't think a barber would be too open to cutting my hair.

What do you guys do?  What did you do early on in transitioning (if you had a longer cut, of course)

I had a pretty cool hairdresser, so I told her I wanted a cut that would pass as either male or female. Then after I socially transitioned, I just started going to barbers and getting it cut really short. Short and conservative helps with passing when you haven't had the facial changes on T yet.

Dennis

Before, I wore my hair in a short girl's cut. Then, because I thought it might help me pass, I asked for a normal men's cut. It was super short and close to the head, but it just really wasn't my style, because I like to play with my hair - curl it, straighten, it, wear bangs, etc.  Since the shorter cut didn't help me pass (I have ultra femme facial features, which the men's cut only served to emphasize ), I've let it grow out and it's an in -between cut - too short for a girl, too long for a boy.

But most ftms seem to pass better with a shorter cut, I'm just the exception. I'd probably need a full beard to pass.  
Wish I could be of more help, good luck.

thanks for the input...

hey dude u need to go to a barber shopp.   I get my haircut from a vietnammese dude. I tell him what I want & he do it 4 me.

I bought a pair of clippers and cut my own. Before that I tried to do it with just scissors which looked like a dog with mange. Since using clippers I wear it short (1/4" if that means anything to you). I don't like having to mess with my hair, just run a washcloth over it and go. Right now I have a mohawk and its enough of a nuisance to play with. The last time I went to a barber my mom and me got in a fight about the cut I wanted looking like a man's and I ended up walking out. That was about 2 years ago before I was out.

Matt

Maybe I'll do clippers if the next time i go if i'm still not given what i want (after finding a different hairdresser, of course).  Maybe a barber... lots of stuff to think about.

Thanks.

Clippers are all right, quick and clean.


Did it to myself several times when I was
being the supermale and so depressed about losing hair
that I couldn't stand to see any in when I brushed my hair.
It was very short, it was 1/4 or 1/8 of an inch, just before bald.
I was a afraid of having a sunburn on the head for a couple of weeks.

I wanna know why she "doesn't do that". She's a fricken hairdresser, she knows WHAT SHE IS DOING. I would of told her to F off, and left.

When I'm not being a hair dummie for friends in hairstyling school, I just go to great clips. I pass well, so I don't think whoever cuts my hair really suspects anything because my hair is already short. They ask how I want it, I tell them, and they cut it, that's their job. Try going to a place like Great Clips or Fantastic Sams if you can, I've never had any problems with them at all. Except the newbie here and there that cuts it too short or not enough, but oh well.

QuoteI wanna know why she "doesn't do that"

yeah, me too.  I think that is what pissed me off most.  Woke up at 7:30 in the morning to go to that appointment, recommended by my sister.  I won't be going back to her.  I'm the client, she should do what i pay her to do.

Here's my haircut story:  Since posting my intro in the androgyne section, I've been experimenting a lot with my appearance, how I dress, and have found that OMG in fact I don't WANT to look really androgynous, but am much more comfortable looking male.  It seems dumb that I never allowed myself to get this before, but better late than never, huh?  So I've allowed myself to go that way pretty much completely, clothing-wise, for the last two or three weeks, and found that I have been much happier and much more comfortable with myself.  I've stopped hating the way I look, stopped avoiding mirrors, stopped wanting to be invisible.  It is so amazing to me, how much better I feel about myself, already, just having allowed myself to make the mental shift and start to externalize it.

I've worn my hair pretty short for years--typical soft-butch-lesbian-androgyne haircut--but it's been nagging at me lately, the more I've seen and felt my male self wanting to fully emerge.  So, I went this morning to a small salon across the street from my apartment--a place I've never tried before, but I wanted to go to a new place--taking a pic of the cut I wanted.  I handed it to the guy, said "Can you cut my hair like this?" and--he did.

I am fifty-one years old and I have never in my life come home from getting a haircut and been unable to stop grinning at myself.  Until today.  Go figure.       

Picture...  yep getting lots of ideas.

Congrats on your new 'do

I'm with manyfaces.

The picture thing WORKS.  I went into the salon with a picture of Hyde from L'Arc~En~Ciel (a jrock band) and said "cut my hair like this.  I do NOT want it feminised."

She gave me some odd looks, but she did as she was told and I have a hair cut IDENTICAL to the picture I brought in.

What I plan to do is get it cut to about an inch and half long, and do the fauxhawk (I'm a little gay boy  ) then feminize it when I'm around the fam until I get further into transition

I got real lucky in finding a post on a local Leather/SM board made by a guy who was drumming up business for his barber.  The barber, a woman, had a home shop in my neighborhood, and when I first called for an appointment, I had to convince her that I didn't *want* a 'womans' cut.  I told her I was a butch dyke who liked a more masculine cut, and had a hard time finding places to do it right. (True story!)

When I officially started transitioning, she was one of the first people I introduced myself to as Scott, instead of my former name.  She's been very accepting, and enjoys the appointments we have.

She also does a great job cutting hair!  I highly recommend trying to find a real Barber - they're getting rare enough these days that many are probably going to be into cutting your hair however you want.

And the perks of a true Barber are SO nice... the extra touches like shaving your neck, carefully brushing the cut hair off, etc...  I can hardly wait until the facial hair starts coming in well enough that I can have her assist me in keeping a beard or mustache well groomed!

(Oh, and any Service professional that doesn't listen to you, doesn't deserve your time or money.  Be they a Lawyer, a Doctor, a Barber, whatever... they are ALL on *your* staff!)   


Scott
Mallard500

Remember, ht, the only person losing out was her. She's sending away your custom for whatever sake and subsequently damaging the business, so may it go down the drain from there, eh? Psh. 'Don't do that'

I would say go to a barbers, not a hairdressers. Some places are both, which is better when you don't pass as well. Some barbers will be funny about giving a 'girl' (if you happen to not pass) a haircut when the sign outside states 'gents only'. This is something to bear in mind when you go as well. It can be quite embarrassing.

I went to a barber/hairdressers once where the shop floor is split into two. At first, the woman drew me into a hairdressers chair and prepared me for a female haircut, but when I explained to her I wanted it shaved, she moved me over to the barbers even with the understanding I was female. The barbers are far more laid back, less judgemental than hairdressers as well from my experience. They ask less questions and just get on with the job. They'll also help you out in terms of how short you should go as well.

Go to a barbers mate. They'll treat you like a king.

thanks... i think this time i'm gonna call up the local big ass salon (they have like 75 chairs) and tell them i need someone who will cut my hair short. I'll take in a pic of what i want, then when i can pass better i'll go to a barber.  I just don't have the confidence right now, unfortunately. *sigh*

Quote from: ht on June 16, 2007, 12:06:55 AM
thanks... i think this time i'm gonna call up the local big ass salon (they have like 75 chairs) and tell them i need someone who will cut my hair short. I'll take in a pic of what i want, then when i can pass better i'll go to a barber.  I just don't have the confidence right now, unfortunately. *sigh*

But hey, that works too...!      Armed with some good determination to insist on what you want, plus perhaps a picture, you should be able to find someone amoung 75 chairs who can do the job.

And even for bio-males, finding the "right" Barbershop & Barber can sometimes be a long journey.  I like to think that it's one of those things that tend to 'come along' in the right time and place for each person.  When you're ready, it'll be there! 

Scott
Mallard500

It's difficult. I find the barbers a really traumatic experience even when I've been on T for some time now. It sometimes is just down to confidence, and since yours has been knocked, you're being careful. That isn't wrong but don't ever stop if from getting your hair cut. You have a right just like any other customer to get what you're paying for.

Good luck.