I loathed the hole, so I got rid of it.  Phalloplasty is not right for me, but I have seen some results and they are amazing.  I am happy with my meta.  If it would miraculously grow into an average sized penis I'd be elated, but since it won't, I'm happy with it.

Jay

I have to admit, part of why I never post (been checking out this forum for over a year now!) is because I'm always terrified someone will misunderstand me, I noticed it happens a lot. Confrontation is clearly not something I'm good at  I'm also one of those people who is equally shy on the internet. Somehow I haven't quite grasped the concept of "anonymity"!

Anywho... While I don't really care much at the moment as my priorities are school and T, and then finally fixing my chest. I think one of the reasons I'd prefer meta is because of size. I don't see people talk about it much but the size of your penis doesn't really matter unless there's penetration involved. I'm just over five feet tall and a six inch (I'm assuming you can get them smaller, just sayin') dick dangling there 24/7 would be a tad awkward.  It'd be a tenth of my height! I don't really like the current erectile device and from what I understand it makes the penis thicker and harder but doesn't make it much longer. So I think, if I could have the surgery at this moment, I'd choose meta, or even nothing. Because I specifically want something that can grow, not just harden. But my opinion might be a little biased because I horseback ride. Spandex and a giant dick? Actually, maybe I SHOULD try out for my college riding team. 

I wonder what fundamentally straight vs fundamentally gay trans men tend to prefer--whether there is a trend. I know more than a few former lesbian trans men who don't intend to have bottom surgery at all. They don't want it. I feel as if their former community--lesbian circles, that is--made it easier for them to appreciate certain anatomies and be more comfortable with themselves as they are. But it's just a theory, and I've met guys who are exceptions. It's not like I'm keeping a running total.

I used to go places in my head. That was my retreat--other worlds, other futures, other realities. In these private spaces, I was always male and gay, and I always had typical male equipment. I know that I can only imagine how it feels to have the right parts down there, but I got very used to climbing inside my head and slipping into the right body and feeling my penis and testicles down there, and sharing them with men. When I stopped being able to access those worlds four years ago, I missed too many things to list here. But one thing I missed was that feeling of having the right parts bobbing around down there. And having sex with them.

I don't see how I could be happy with meta because I still have those memories--and expectations. It's almost as if I had those parts and lost them and need to replace them. I also have a very stereotypically gay attitude toward male genitals. That attitude has only gotten stronger over the years, I'm afraid.

Quote from: Arch on August 14, 2012, 07:21:10 PM
I wonder what fundamentally straight vs fundamentally gay trans men tend to prefer--whether there is a trend. I know more than a few former lesbian trans men who don't intend to have bottom surgery at all. They don't want it. I feel as if their former community--lesbian circles, that is--made it easier for them to appreciate certain anatomies and be more comfortable with themselves as they are. But it's just a theory, and I've met guys who are exceptions. It's not like I'm keeping a running total.

I think you might possibly be on to something there.  I'm still sort of part of a lesbian community (hate the word lesbian though) as I'm not doing anything towards transition at the moment due to the tension it'll put on my family, potentially losing my gay girlfriend and gaining nothing in terms of medical transition due to my age.  When I'm older then I'll have to reconsider my situation, but it will probably consist of me going ahead with transition pretty quickly.  I plan to go on T one day, but the change I'm looking forward to least would probably be dick growth because I've grown comfortable with down there, especially in the last 6 months when I've been with my girlfriend.  I know that she appreciates down there and it suffices for what it needs to do perfectly well to me.

Not being too keen on having either phallo or meta could also be something to do with just not liking dick as well, for me at least.  Cis men's dicks look nasty to me and having something which isn't totally like them seems even more bizarre and unattractive and I don't really think I'd want that attached to me if that makes sense.  I don't expect to be attracted to my parts - I'm not now and I'm into women - but I don't want to have something I feel is ugly either.  At least I can't really see it with it how it is.  I don't know whether I've just had poor hygiene, but on the two times I've been confronted with a cis guys penis the smell... it wasn't particularly strong but enough to make me want to throw up a little.  It was probably from cum or something but I'd not want to risk smelling like that really.


Edited for personal info.

Alex, it could have been a hygiene issue, or it might have been a compatibility issue. I actually don't like the way most guys smell. When a guy is compatible, he smells good to me, and so does his crotch. Or, if you are attracted to women, maybe you're not capable of being attracted to guy-smell.

But if you go on T, your crotch odor will change.

I suppose I've got a terrible case of penis envy and always have had. I've only ever enjoyed sex with guys, I like the way a well-groomed, compatible guy smells down there, and I've always loved d*** (even more after transition).

I 'grew up' in the lesbian community and it was almost indoctrinated into you that as a lesbian you didn't like dicks. to some extent that was true for me- looking at another bloke's penis has never done anything for me; but the thought of having my own? Different matter entirely. I did think for a while that i would go with meta and maybe use a sleeve over it so it was big enough for penetration but now ive had my chest surgery there is definitely a need growing in me to have a 'normal' sized penis. Especially if, as people are saying , orgasms are now possible. If i have to choose between size and sensation/orgasm then i'm afraid the orgasm wins every time.(at the minute)

I do not understand why some Transsexual men would hesitate to go through with it at all. The sex corrective surgery is not perfect for male to female transsexuals either, but it is better than the alternative. It is awful having to dilate ones vagina for their whole life three times a day for 15 mins, but it has to be done. No, Lewis, and other Transsexual men, us girls prefer big ones or at least average size ones. In regards of penis sizes, 6" length x 5" circumference is considered average and the smaller the penis the thicker it should be in order to compensate for length.



MTS2- FEMALE TO MALE SEX CORRECTIVE SURGERY(SCS): MTS2 HD    (t:20.00/48.12)
.

First, let's please be mindful of language and use only medical terminology for anatomy.

Secondly, not all of "us girls" are interested in being physically intimate with men regardless of size. Please refrain from blanket statements.

Thank you.

-Connie Anne
Global Moderator

Quote from: Realdimensionaltggirlhere on September 03, 2012, 11:15:43 AM
I do not understand why some Transsexual men would hesitate to go through with it at all. The sex corrective surgery is not perfect for male to female transsexuals either, but it is better than the alternative. It is awful having to dilate ones vagina for their whole life three times a day for 15 mins, but it has to be done. No, Lewis, and other Transsexual men, us girls prefer big ones or at least average size ones. In regards of penis sizes, 6" length x 5" circumference is considered average and the smaller the penis the thicker it should be in order to compensate for length.

You don't need to understand our reasons, our choices do not affect you. And might I remind you that not all women, like Connie said have an interest in guys. Blanket statements do nothing but try and fit people into silly catagories.

I was writing something for this thread and it was getting kind of long. Meanwhile I was listening to a podcast by some friends of mine and they mentioned me. They said I talk a lot and sometimes they can hardly get a word in edgewise... I took it as an omen to shut up and filed my post away in my private journal.

Quote from: dalebert on September 04, 2012, 12:42:33 AM
I was writing something for this thread and it was getting kind of long. Meanwhile I was listening to a podcast by some friends of mine and they mentioned me. They said I talk a lot and sometimes they can hardly get a word in edgewise... I took it as an omen to shut up and filed my post away in my private journal.

And now you have pique my interest, you minx!    Actually, I do wonder what non-trans folks think about it. My partner and I have talked in depth about the surgeries, but he is overall supportive of what I want to do.

Quote from: Ayden on September 04, 2012, 02:15:52 AM
And now you have pique my interest, you minx!    Actually, I do wonder what non-trans folks think about it. My partner and I have talked in depth about the surgeries, but he is overall supportive of what I want to do.

I'll PM you. It's a basic "If I were trans..." (but I'm not) post. I'm worried it might be triggering for some.

The more I think about this point, the more I wonder if maybe I should start calling myself genderqueer or something.  I identify fully as male, I'm loving testosterone and I want top surgery... but I'm totally content with what I've got down below (except for when it bleeds.)  It's not just a grudging acceptance, either.  I like to be penetrated and everything.  And the growth and extra sensitivity from being on T makes me like it even more.

Part of my reason for not wanting phalloplasty is that I'd never trade a perfectly functioning vagina for a tube of skin you can pee through that (usually) barely looks like a penis.  But I'm not sure I'd want it even if the results were indistinguishable from a cis-male.  I know there's no one right way to go about transition, but I'm still running around in my head wondering if I'm "not trans enough" because of this.

I'm pretty okay with stuff down there as it is, it does what it needs to and I hardly ever pay any attention to it, unless having sex, in which case I'm just thinking about the feeling rather than what's happening down there.  Maybe it's only because I've seen old/incomplete phalloplasty results and trying to compare them in my head to a prosthetic, but I'm not sure I could have something that wasn't realistic down there.  I don't know, I just feel that I'd rather have something that was natural rather than something which to me isn't either natural or realistic looking.  Even if they do look better finished and healed properly I don't know if I'd be okay with spending at least a year with something that to me resembles a beanbag rather than a penis.

And seeing the photos of the actual procedure freaks me out a little, I'm normally okay with surgery photos but it's something about being down there and the way they pull everything around.... nope I'm not comfortable with that.  And anyway, I absolutely hate the idea of being under general anaesthetic (I kicked up a huge fuss and freaked out the whole hospital when I told them I wanted a simple 9 minute operation on my hand done under general when I was about 13-14), I just don't trust people enough to let them do what they want with my body and me being powerless to stop them/know what happened when I woke up.  Even when I have top surgery one day I'll probably see if there's anyway at all if I can have someone I trust watching or have it filmed, even if I have to destroy the tape in the hospital after I've checked it or something.

Quote from: Sylvester on September 04, 2012, 10:08:57 AM
I know there's no one right way to go about transition, but I'm still running around in my head wondering if I'm "not trans enough" because of this.

Oh, Sly...please don't do that to yourself.

Quote from: Arch on September 04, 2012, 09:28:45 PM
Oh, Sly...please don't do that to yourself.

I'll third that. Don't put yourself through that, man. Your identity is yours alone. Its about what makes you happy, not meeting the "status quo".

I used to feel rather put off by phalloplasty after seeing a set of photos documenting the procedure, but as dysphoria has progressed for me in the past few months, it's seemed like a much more attractive option. I, personally, am completely disgusted with my genitals most days and have felt like crying throughout the entire ordeal of releasing sexual tension. The idea of penetration makes me feel like physically ill and thinking about it happening is on par with a nightmare, especially when I have a twisted moment in which I've jinxed myself and cannot stop thinking about it. I've recently been been researching it a tonne because of this, but I have the feeling that fear of problematic turnouts and the unlikeliness of getting a healthy skin graft from myself will ultimately stop me from going down that road should I have ever wanted it. Metoidioplasty, however, seems like a much more do-able option for me.

I am open to my feelings on this changing, though. I am not yet on T and have not had any type of surgery, and having only really found out that successful transition was possible early this year and consequently was thrown into an identity search that lead me here, I have a long long way ahead of me yet. All I really know for sure is that stuff down there is not at all right and it needs to change in at least some way that is masculine.

Obviously, my post was not directed to genderqueer individuals, it was meant only for TRANSSEXUAL MEN. Those of you who claim the phallopasty results are not realistic enough, Have you seen the video I posted with my comment? Please look at the video before commenting. The phallopasty produces a very good results in regards to appearance, functionality, and sensitivity. In fact a lot of cissexual men get a very similar procedure done to treat erectile dysfunction disorders. There are risks in every surgery. Like the phalloplasty(FTM), the vaginoplasty surgery(MTF) is not exactly perfect, but is better than the alternative. Surgery only can progress if there is a high demand for it. Would you agree?

I have uploaded a couple of awesome phalloplasty results to photobucket. Hopefully you can see them!

NSFW, obviously 
http://s1060.photobucket.com/albums/t447/picturesofpictures1/

Quote from: harlee on September 06, 2012, 06:59:19 AM
I have uploaded a couple of awesome phalloplasty results to photobucket. Hopefully you can see them!

NSFW, obviously 
http://s1060.photobucket.com/albums/t447/picturesofpictures1/

Those look really neat and real. (Do you actually get to choose the size? Or is it on case by case basis)