I know people mean well when they say this, but...
After I tell mention being trans, they say: "We're all just people."
What it sounds like to me: "I don't see you as a guy and don't take your identity seriously."

Quote from: Edge on September 04, 2012, 04:01:57 PM
I know people mean well when they say this, but...
After I tell mention being trans, they say: "We're all just people."
What it sounds like to me: "I don't see you as a guy and don't take your identity seriously."

One possible response:

Oh, silly me! Here I thought you were a man (woman)! How does it feel to be a person, but not a man (woman)?

I was told by several "authorities" that if I went to enough self help groups that I would want to get the surgery. My response was typically something like this:

"Would you consider getting your dick cut off after attending a dozen meetings? I haven't even attended one, and I'm ready to have mine done."

Something similar to CJ, I did ask someone once if they knew of any guys who wanted their balls and tackle cut off. They replied of course not.

I just said 'I do'

"What does your wife think of that?" (Actually first heard this in a post here at Susan's).

Seems to be said a lot with the subtext of haven't you considered what this is doing to her?

As if I'd suddenly realize how hard this is on her, and finally go down to the corner druggist and get me a bottle of those Trans-B-Gone pills.

I went to the wrong shelf, and ended up with Transphobe-B-Gone pills by mistake .

"Congratulations on being a university girl!" I've already told you I'm not a girl...

Quote from: Edge on September 04, 2012, 04:01:57 PM
I know people mean well when they say this, but...
After I tell mention being trans, they say: "We're all just people."
What it sounds like to me: "I don't see you as a guy and don't take your identity seriously."

I agree, this is a very fine line. In some cases, it can be positive - in others, it suggests that they just don't really want to truly acknowledge your gender.

I've noticed there are certain cues like tone of voice, eyes, stance, and facial expression that give clues about which it is.

Agreed. Don't know how to explain it but you can just tell.

Gah, I had to endure the most ridiculous conversation with my Sister and her husband today.

I bought my daughter a cute little tartan skirt and dressed her up in it to take her to see my sister today.

She didn't like the skirt, kept trying to take it off, it was hindering her ability to climb up on the sofa so it was annoying her.

This fact brought about a big lecture from them both about how I "have" to put her in skirts more often otherwise everyone will think I'm "trying to turn her in to a boy"

I got a whole load of crap about if teachers at preschool notice a little girl wearing "boys clothes" they will refer me to social services.

When I tried to tell them just how wrong and ridiculous that whole notion was they clarified by saying "oh no no don't get us wrong, WE don't think you're trying to make her in to a boy, but EVERYONE ELSE will"

Right sure, it's everyone elses problem, not yours.

How about this one? You're demon possessed.  Let's sprinkle some Holy water on you and prayer for you that the demon may be cast out of you. (Never mind the fact that one is not showing any signs of being so. I mean after all can't I at least have some signs that I actually am possessed)

You're just possessed with more sense than them.

But at the time it was very hard and hurtful,especially when one is down at the time and it's easier to kick one in the teeth than it is to give a helping hand up.

I didn't mean to make light of your experience, sorry .

No problem. I got what you were saying 

I just felt I needed to elaberate

Whew .

I can't imagine what it would be like to face that kind of dark certainty in people.

Don't it will help you sleep at nights. 

The sad part is that all to often the ones most critical forget that they themselves are far less than perfect themselves. It would be easier to take if they themselves were perfect.

All you do when you throw stones in glasshouses is to thrash your own place.

I've had a similar comment...religious-based...I've got the "I just pray to God at night and tell Him that this is in His hands."

"You never had a rebellious stage as a teen, so this is you testing out your identity and trying to stick it to the 'man'"

"This must be because you spent so much time on the Internet."

"You were just shy so you never developed properly as a woman."

"You can't know who you are, because you are good with school, not people."

"Why would you do that when you can stay a woman and have hot lesbians eating you out?" -_-

My grandpa asked me once "what kind of woman would date you?" I asked him what he meant, and he said "Well, you know, lesbians? Other transgenders?" I actually answered him honestly, saying that I wouldn't want to date a lesbian, and they wouldn't want to date me once I am far enough in transition. But I said that I would date a transgender woman, because, well, they're women just like any other. Now he thinks I am a straight woman.

And a lot of people, in general, assume that as a transgender person I will only ever be able to date other transgender people. Apparently, no cisgender person would ever be interested in me. And the only friends I will ever have are other transgender people, too. It is very annoying.

Quote from: edderkopp on September 12, 2012, 03:38:14 PM
"You never had a rebellious stage as a teen, so this is you testing out your identity and trying to stick it to the 'man'"

I don't know about all of you, but I'm not sticking it to the man. I'm sticking it to the men: the men who want me to be one of them.