Help needed / severe anxiety

[November Fox]

Hi guys, and others reading,

So my surgery date is January 15.
I´m not scared of having surgery and I want to get it.

But I´m scared of my PTSD and how they will treat me at the hospital. I recently shared some worries I had about my weight with one of the assistants. I said I´m very lightweight and I was worried about it because I get very dizzy from time to time. Her response was basically "so what" (since I have been approved for surgery).

This does not feel good. At all.

I cannot trust people who treat me like that. I also said I would like to make an assessment of my physical and mental health one week before surgery, and she said "yeah no, we can´t do that, do you want to cancel or not".

I basically feel like they are forcing me in a spot whether I either say YES or NO to surgery and there is no leeway to talk about my mental health before surgery.

In any situation where I´m going to be at the mercy of others, SPECIALLY considering I have complex PTSD from severe abuse, I need to know that these people are going to put my interest and my wellbeing first. It does not feel that way.

Very confused and angry now.

[Cassi]

Sorry to hear about your anxiety.

Sadly, not everyone who works in a doctor's office or medical facility is medically qualified.  By that, there are some who will go around with a scub top on and scope around their neck and be a receptionist or a CNA.  Neither of which usually have the experience and/or knowledge, let alone the bed size manner needed.

Hang in there and ignore comments made by some.

[November Fox]

Thank you, that helps.

You are right, not all staff are trained to deal with my kind of situation.
Just because staff are not qualified, does not mean the surgeons/surgery staff are not qualified. The thing with PTSD is that once 1 person says something, you immediately distrust the entire team.

I have shared my worries too on a trauma forum and I hope I can just discuss this with the surgeon´s team, and still get the surgery.

PS. Congrats being on hormones, just saw your ticker gadget!

[Cassi]

I'm glad my words helped a little. 

PTSD is a nasty thing.  It can be quiet and dormant for years and then sneak out like a rattler in the bushes.

Thanks on the HRT comment.  I'm so excited and anxious about it.  My ticker is suppose to reflect that I start HRT in two days, or at least see the doctor to get the HRT.

These past few days waiting have driver me a little whacky

Cali

[Allison S]

I don't know what you've been through and how deeply it affects you. What I do know is that ptsd is very serious. I can't compare what you went through to being transgender, but you going through both is a lot. As a trans person I know anxiety is our enemy. It's so hard to overcome but if we don't then we won't achieve the huge milestones we need. Surgery is a major decision to make.

I completely can relate to not trusting the team because of her immediate dismissiveness. Have you spoken with anyone else since? That might be a good first step to try.

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