Krista’s Celebrations and Doubts

[davina61]

Yes my wig is the same as my natural ,well before it went grey!!

[KristaFairchild]

In all honesty Petunia, our hair looks the right colour because it compliments our skin tone and undertone. I'm not absolutely certain but I think all three of us are natural blondes so the blonde hair thing works for us. My natural hair is an odd blend of honey blonde with sort of natural champagne blonde highlights. It's the same as my mum though mine seems to be staying blonde where my mums turned light brown.

I think Krista has the fairer skin too which is why the lighter hair looks good. Fairer skinned people can look equally good in a light brown or auburn too but the dark brown or black haired look I think is better suited to those with a more tanned or draker skin tone.

If in doubt get something within a few shades of your natural colour and work out from there if you want to experiment.

Although I was blonde as a child (a "fair child") I've had naturally medium brown hair since I was 12 and like my Mom, gray is staying away. I tried a blonde wig and the feedback was that it wasn't right. But again, it was kind of fun. 

It's not easy finding a natural looking wig for a woman my age. They tend to be too thick and too short. I wore the brown one from most of my photos last night to a trans gathering. Without prompting, they all said it looked good on me. 

For now at least, I've found my hair. 

[Lori Dee ✅]

I'm not absolutely certain but I think all three of us are natural blondes so the blonde hair thing works for us. My natural hair is an odd blend of honey blonde with sort of natural champagne blonde highlights.

My natural color is dark brown, and I never liked it. I had some reddish highlights, so I tried red wigs. I have received compliments stating that it gave my complexion more color. The lighter blondes like platinum or honey were too light, so I went with a darker blonde with a reddish tint. In my avatar photo, the tint doesn't show, but the fake dark roots give it a realistic overall look.

It isn't a full wig, just a topper that clips on top and has length to blend in with my natural hair. It is a lot cooler and more comfortable than a full wig. The hair touching my shoulders is mine. It was fun trying to match the topper color. (NOT)

[Stottie Girl]

Ha! Well that shows what I know ha ha! I couldn't be more wrong!

[Finally Anna]

Hair colour and hair length are changing with time.
Was white blonde when very young and had really wavy hair. My mom got fed up with people thinking I was a girl, and then cut it short. 😢
Then long until 20yo, think rocker style. Enter military service and 3 mm hair length.
After that some 40 years of short.
Now back to long-ish again, but not white blonde but instead a mix of grey and medium blonde.

[KristaFairchild]

Hair colour and hair length are changing with time.
Was white blonde when very young and had really wavy hair. My mom got fed up with people thinking I was a girl, and then cut it short. 😢
Then long until 20yo, think rocker style. Enter military service and 3 mm hair length.
After that some 40 years of short.
Now back to long-ish again, but not white blonde but instead a mix of grey and medium blonde.

I wish I had options, but for me it has to be a wig now. Years ago I had a mop of tight curls and didn't appreciate them. I felt like your mom did. 

And wigs are expensive! I've experimented with wigs that are costume-y just to get a sense of options. My favorite doesn't look quite real but isn't instantly seen as fake. I have two trans friends who embrace fake and wear wigs in unusual colors, but that doesn't feel like me. There doesn't seem to be a lot of middle ground in pricing. 

[Lori Dee ✅]

I wish I had options, but for me it has to be a wig now. Years ago I had a mop of tight curls and didn't appreciate them. I felt like your mom did.

And wigs are expensive! I've experimented with wigs that are costume-y just to get a sense of options. My favorite doesn't look quite real but isn't instantly seen as fake. I have two trans friends who embrace fake and wear wigs in unusual colors, but that doesn't feel like me. There doesn't seem to be a lot of middle ground in pricing.

There are things you can do to help it. First, spend a little more money on them. Not much. Avoid Halloween costume wigs or the ones at costume shops. You can get synthetic wigs online at a fairly decent price (less than $50).

Since they are synthetic, be careful with heat. You can soften the synthetic fibers by soaking it in fabric softener. Use something like Woolite that is made for delicate fabrics. Rinse the wig thoroughly with cold water, then hang it to dry, ideally on a cork wig head or stand. Never brush or comb it while wet.

Once it is dry, use a detangling spray and a wig comb or wide-tooth detangling comb to gently detangle the strands. Start at the end and work your way to the roots. Just be gentle.

You can style it using low heat from a hair dryer. Hold the hair in the shape you want, then gently warm it. Keep holding it in place while it cools. I have used the hollow curlers to bend the hair so it flows away from my face.

The nice thing about them is that once you style a synthetic, it will hold that style even after you wash it. I have softened some pretty cheap wigs ($40), and they turned out nice, soft, and natural-looking. They don't last as long because brushing and normal wear damage the fibers over time, so even fabric softener and conditioner can't save them.

Have fun with them!

[Petunia]

I really don't want to have to rely on a wig unless I really have no choice.

I have just started minoxidil to try and fill in my thin spots

[KristaFairchild]

Today marks a milestone for me. I've been out at work in many ways for a long time, but today I went to work wearing my wig for the first time and I even wore breast forms. I knew I would mostly be in my office but I did see three people and had one conversation. 

As myself. As someone not called "he". 

[Lori Dee ✅]

Definitely a milestone worth celebrating! Congrats.

"Every journey begins with a single step." And the first step is usually the most difficult to take.

Notice that the world did not end.

Krista is alive and well.

[tgirlamg]

Today marks a milestone for me. I've been out at work in many ways for a long time, but today I went to work wearing my wig for the first time and I even wore breast forms. I knew I would mostly be in my office but I did see three people and had one conversation.

As myself. As someone not called "he".

Krista!

Kudos on today's courageous step forward! Well done sister!!!

Onward!

A💕

[Charlotte Kitty ✅]

Congratulations on that big step xx

[Stottie Girl]

Congrats Krista! Big step indeed!

[ChrissyRyan]

Today marks a milestone for me. I've been out at work in many ways for a long time, but today I went to work wearing my wig for the first time and I even wore breast forms. I knew I would mostly be in my office but I did see three people and had one conversation.

As myself. As someone not called "he".

Krista,

It is nice to not be called he.  Congratulations on these bold new appearance steps.
I have not worn breast plates or forms myself.  When I want a long hair look, I use one of my wigs.

Easy step takes courage.  Each step can bring rewards.  Each step builds confidence.

I am wearing what might be called trousers (female) today but I think I still look a bit feminine.  The push-up bra and more clingy top helps with that!

Have a nice day today too!


Chrissy

[Finally Anna]

As myself. As someone not called "he".

What a feeling! Another "roller-coaster" that is now ridden and enjoyed!
💕

[KristaFairchild]

For over two years my presentation has become steadily more traditionally female. About a year ago I changed my pronouns to he/they and last March to she/they. More recently I changed my name to include my male name and Krista. These changes could be seen on every email and almost every virtual meeting. I send dozens of emails a day at work and attend roughly four Zoom meetings each week. 

I've also attended trans meetings where I could explore my appearance and myself with affirmations and no fear of judgement. 

Some aspects of my appearance changed slowly but steady over the past two years.  Nails, makeup, jewelry, blouses, pants, and shorts. For months I've worn only women's clothes, makeup, and jewelry. 

Others I resisted because I feared them most. Which also means I wanted them most. I think. A wig. Breast forms. Red lipstick. 

Home alone, I sometimes dressed up fully and even did photo shoots. These felt scary but good and as I did it more, it became pure fun and joy. I deleted lots of photos, but found some that I loved. This really helped me see myself physically. 

I also did tons of work emotionally and intellectually, but this post isn't about that. 

Yesterday and today I went to work fully en femme. The biggest changes over my usual look were the additions of my favorite wig and breast forms. Terror met need, though the fear was reduced because I knew I would not see many people. Inevitability, I saw more than expected. All were either affirming or acted like nothing had changed. 

What did I learn?

I'm not performing for anyone. I felt most like myself when alone at my desk, feeling my bare legs and brushing hair out of my eyes. 

As fear drops, I can enjoy being out in public. It's still hard but I see the potential better now. It's blissful to be called ma'am and fear the right pronouns being used. 

Illogically, perhaps, the wig brings coherence while the forms bring much less. With my wig I feel like my face is softened. It also makes my gender more visible to others. The forms feel more artificial. I like my silhouette with them on, but I long for my own breasts to grow. 

Regardless of reality, I feel more attractive as a woman. Since being attractive is secondary in importance, I also note that I have not once felt a serious urge to backtrack. 

I also got back my blood tests after 3 days on estradiol and already the results are promising. My biological sex was not strong and already I was responding to estradiol. 

My next hurdle is being more myself around my family. Right now, that means wearing skirts around my 29-year old twins and my wife. I'm progressing toward the wig. I'm scared. I have a plan to do so in a month. 

Thanks everyone for being part of my journey by sharing your experiences and wisdom. ❤️

[Finally Anna]

Sounds like you had a field day, Krista! 💕

Yesterday and today I went to work fully en femme. The biggest changes over my usual look were the additions of my favorite wig and breast forms. Terror met need, though the fear was reduced because I knew I would not see many people. Inevitability, I saw more than expected. All were either affirming or acted like nothing had changed.

Because they did not think it was strange or even unexpected! To them it was just a piece of the puzzle, that they had missed but was now found.

[ChrissyRyan]

Krista,


It sounds as if you are enjoying the fruits of your planning becoming reality over time and that more may be forthcoming.  I wish you lots of success!

Chrissy

[Petunia]

Congratulations Krista.

I am very excited for you. You are very inspirational