Quote from: Pugs4life on November 03, 2025, 08:24:05 AMGood morning all,
I am new here. My husband of 9 years was diagnosed with gender dysphoria in August. He came out to me mid September. This is still all so new to me. I dont even know how to begin to process this. I have so many emotions and am struggling with depression and anxiety.
I am hoping to connect with people who are going through this or have been through this. I dont want to feel so alone in this. What do I even do now?
Quote from: Pugs4life on November 03, 2025, 08:24:05 AMGood morning all,
I am new here. My husband of 9 years was diagnosed with gender dysphoria in August. He came out to me mid September. This is still all so new to me. I dont even know how to begin to process this. I have so many emotions and am struggling with depression and anxiety.
I am hoping to connect with people who are going through this or have been through this. I dont want to feel so alone in this. What do I even do now?
Hi and welcome,
It's great that you are here, seeking ways to understand what your spouse is going through, and your own next steps. Not all spouses are able or willing to delve into this.
I'm going the same thing as your spouse. You can find my story if you're interested in my blog by searching for Krista. The blogs are great places to read about how other gender non-conforming members have experienced this.
As I scan through responses, I see words that would cause my wife anxiety. Trans. Lesbian. These are accurate words but they carry extra weight for some. I prefer to think of people without labels when I'm stressed.
I'm still me. My wife can look into my face and see me. She can experience my love. She can see the same wonderful parent. Nothing about my core identity has changed. I think she focuses on that.
I've also chosen to go slow. She got used to early stages when I wore stud earring and clear nail polish. I seemed about the same. Over years of seeking my own truth, I've gradually added more elements that feel like me and I believe she has adjusted. She's not one to talk about it much. I'm curious and concerned about how she feels when I start presenting as fully female and possibly start HRT.
I'm experiencing more serenity than ever before in my life. I feel more capable of giving and receiving love. I had somone issues that affected our marriage that have dissolved. Learning about my true gender and accepting it has made me content. Except when I have "OMG THIS IS HAPPENING" moments, and denial. It's a roller coaster ride but it has stopped being a choice for me though. I have to be me. I sometimes tell myself life would be easier if I returned to accepting myself as male. But I know it's a lie. Going back would ruin my life. Going forward has consequences, too.
I wish my wife would discuss it with me more and maybe your spouse wants that too? Stripping away secrecy is a relief. Therapy is great; I have an online gender therapist. You might want to have one, too. Money isn't flush for us to I also use Abby AI. For $20 a month it's better than other AIs for conversations about my feelings since it's foundation is many therapy methods.
Taking to others, as you are doing there, can help, too. Is there an LGBTQ+ center nearby? They may have resources and meetings.
I hope you and your souse find a healing authentic journey forward
