Hi Kacey, and welcome to Susan's Place!
What you described — that long stretch of feeling out of touch with yourself without having words for it — is something a lot of us recognize, even though it doesn't always look like the textbook descriptions of dysphoria people expect. The absence of "I hate my body" doesn't mean nothing was there. Sometimes it's quieter than that. A misalignment you can sense without being able to name. The fact that something you read last spring suddenly gave you language for it tells me the recognition was waiting for the right key.
Your timeline from September to GAHT in March is genuinely remarkable, and you're right that waiting to be "sure" in some absolute sense isn't realistic — that kind of certainty rarely arrives before you start moving. Most of us figure things out by living them, not by thinking our way to a finished answer first. You sound clear-eyed about that, which serves you well.
The community piece you mentioned is exactly the kind of thing this place exists for. Family and friends who love you are irreplaceable, but there's a particular kind of recognition that only comes from other people who've walked some version of this themselves. You'll find plenty of that here, at whatever pace suits you.
And Ghost of Yotei is a gorgeous game — Seoul in June sounds wonderful too. I hope the fuel situation cooperates. As for the pool and darts losing streak, I'm afraid we can't help you there, but you're welcome to vent about it.
I play Once Human for much of my idle time. If you decide you would like to try it out message me here and I will send you whatever server I am on.
We are glad you found us. Make yourself at home.
— Susan💜
