I explained my motivation for transition today, figured I'd share here.

[Lilaclucy101]

Whoa this is really well thought out. Reading this has given me some courage in coming out to the rest of the family, with a rough idea in how I should explain my need and desire too be who I am. Thanks for sharing 

[aaajjj55]

EyesOpen - I endorse the other posts on this thread - you have articulated this beautifully.  Thank you also for the link to Anne Vitale's site which is a mine of useful information.

With best wishes for your journey,

Amanda

[billyjeans]

Thanks I'm glad it helped. You certainly aren't alone in dealing with the self-loathing, I think most of us experience this quite strongly when we first confront our authentic selves.

Take some time to read through Anne Vitale's essays. I found them invaluable in overcoming these feelings. She's worked with a lot of trans individuals over the years and has loads of valuable, knowledgeable insights. The developmental review essay I linked earlier is an absolute must-read, especially for struggling MtFs. You may find some comfort from reading this one as well:

http://www.avitale.com/GuiltShame.htm 🔗

There are loads more of these writings on her main site under the "Essays" and "T Notes" links. I hope you find some peace of mind with your situation. It's tough at first, but as you begin to accept yourself and view your identity with some sense of normalcy, the feelings of shame and embarrassment will lessen dramatically. It truly does get better <3

I'm so happy that you posted this because it sums up exactly my experience in life. Wow!


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[Another Nikki]

Wow!  It's amazing to read someone else describe much of my life.  Very well written and very level headed.  And i agree about Dr. Vitale's essays.  They really helped my wife come to terms with what I was going through.

[DawnOday ✅]

It was eye opening to realize how common this experience is in our community. It helps so much to know that we're not alone and that these horrible experiences can be overcome <3

BTW, have you read Anne Vitale's developmental review essay? It really helped me understand the factors that brought me to this point:

http://www.avitale.com/developmentalreview.htm 🔗

The G3 life ain't easy...

A belated thank you for referring this article. It's another piece in the puzzle.   

[Dan]

What an awesome post, and so many of us ( no matter whether Mtf or FtM) can relate to your story.