it just sucks when the people you live with are constantly trying to
deceive you, really for evil purposes... Men lie, I know its not
all men, but like this dude who wants to act like my dad, so many
lies, and so much against the environment, its disgusting... and i am
justified in saying that, its like he's trying to hurt the
environment, hurt me, make everything incredibly difficult, its just
jealousy, to a ridiculous extreme, probably the entire reason i've
been getting followed and stuff in all these wierd ways, because he's
jealous? its sad but you know its not going to be a problem anymore,
he just represents evil, he can't be trusted, sadly, too many times
has he physically attacked me, emotionally mentally, spiritually
attacked me, and still trying to act like he cares, and like he's an
environmentalist, no wonder the company he works for just went broke,
you dont go outside into nature, you dont have any passion for it at
all at a level thats meaningful, you don't listen to any ideas which
you are being given which are real legit ideas, why? because of pride
or something? now you are asking me for money, and its like im trying
to leave here.. plus its doubtful that you even really need money,
these are the kinds of things you are have, just to make it more
difficult just to promote your stupid racist worldview, and attack
anyone who tries to have creativity, so hypocritical man... its like
your job is to stop buildings from burning down, i'm giving you water
and fireproof stuff and your just like yeah... i have no use for that,
we'll just use these fans... i mean in all honestly maybe im not
seeing the whole picture, but consistently over the past 3 years this
is the vibe i get, the vibe that im basically doing your job, and if
you just opened up your closemindedness a little bit some of that
could spread to you and actually help you and a lot more than its
helping now, but instead you are fighting me for some reason, is it
that corrupt? apparently with you it is, which is sad... but you know,
itll be okay, when it comes down to it people see whats really going
on, its just becoming more and more clear... i can't wait to move from
here..
But actually you know I realize this, I understand why he is so racist
and why he thinks everyone is so racist, because he grew up around
some of the most racist people, I know that because I was with this
girl and she basically told me, she was like yeah sometimes the KKK
throws shindigs in the woods there right near my house.. and even the
way I met the girl was messed up and wrong, she was a viking. The
thing is the world isn't really like that, even those people are not
really like that, except for the most stupid ones and those people
aren't really respected. Universally what makes people respected is
intelligence, kindness, personality, etc. it really is about the
content of your character above all else, though the outer appearance
may have some effect. The thing is so many people in this world for
some reason, maybe lack of creativity, or maybe they are just afraid
to be different, they dont break from the mold and distinguish
themselves, they just fall into the same old excuses and so they
perpetuate that world, that game which is so limiting which no one
even really believes in anymore, except as a joke or a parody. Maybe
they feel like they have to hide their uniqueness for the system, but
the system is not like that, the system is incredibly lucid it just
takes two to meet, and to honestly speak from their souls, and not be
afraid of each other, but to really connect and bear themselves. All
of those groups understand magic and stuff like that, they know there
is more real beyond this status quo >-bleeped-< which everyone is taught in
schools and is all you hear about on the news, which is brainwashing,
and it is slavery in a sense, its nowhere near as bad as it was, but
its still pretty bad when you consider all the wrongs which happen in
our world. The world is incredible dynamic energies are real, magic is
real, its not even so much that its unseen, its that some people
refuse to acknowledge and in my opinion, I believe that's the worst
quality, refusing to acknowledge it, to listen to spirit when its
right there smack dab in your face. The thing is the people who are
truly wise and see through this, they usually don't have positions of
overt power, and people who are in government are usually not the most
aware of the true world, and then there are the anarchists who have
power because of violence, but they are usually crazy. So the people
who are in between have to mediate, and try to bring this together,
and its really a symbolic and ancient dance, its what druidry is
about, and all of that. These are the people who manifest the tao (not
that only people manifest tao, or that people are the main ones who
manifest tao) in the world, they usually aren't a part of these
groups, but they are heard by them, and their wisdom ripples out and
has a cohesive effect on the world. Slowly they try to maintain peace
and justice. The Seelie and Unseelie courts are kind of like this,
kind of like the Black Panthers and the KKK, I mean I'm intuiting that
this is true, I'm sure at the core, both of these groups have great
wisdom, information and medicine, but on the outside, they are both
equally stupid and destructive. At the core, they don't even recognize
themselves, because at the core they are the same, they are just smart
people, the battle becomes integrating it, and for that to happen is
truly a journey like a sword in the stone journey, the teaching of
fairy is that, its no longer about race, people are wiser than that,
this which constantly brings us down to that level is just momentum
that no one is able to stop because of a few stupid hateful and
devoted people (or are they mystics waiting for us to be ready to pass
through?), but its true, all the peoples of the world have always been
connected psychically even without meeting each other, our mythologies
show this is true, they are all the same energies basically. When we
accept this we begin to see and dimension of ourselves that is much
higher, we see our souls in full dimension, not just in our human
bodies, but like rays which go to the center of existence, we are the
ancients, all of our incarnations the trees, the animals, they are
just as much us, we all have trails like this, kind of like snakes,
but not snakes, though snakes might be included, just pathways where
our spirit has travelled like the rays of the sun and brought life and
in return where the life has come up so those places are a part of us,
most of the time our main focus is in our human bodies, some people
are more aware our their astral bodies, we are, but very few spirits
are aware of their entire selves, at all times or even most of the
time, we have to let go of the game to do that, in the 60s in was
great because people were admitting that it was a game, and they said
we don't want to play, but now we understand how hard it is to stop
playing, its fun to play after all, what is the meaning of life
otherwise, but it is apparent that what we DO need to do is change the
rules, change the world view, because the way it is now, who is it
really making happy? very very few people, and no one really believes
in it, no one is making us believe in it, all they are waiting for is
for people to live what they believe, we are the ones we have been
waiting for, and thats the meaning of wantism, thats how the ancients
lived, thats how to reach nirvana and immortality, just live what you
believe, dont live this world which is false, which is taught, live
the world which Goddess shows you in your heart, and that you know is
right, and collaborate with others too, it can go very deep and it can
change the nature of existence itself, its that powerful, and its that
essential to who we truly are, we are shamans, we have to continously
be creating this, thats the only way to get a glimpse of the ultimate
reality, between creations, and the only way to really BREATHE, that
is the true spirituality, which takes all things into account, and
that is the meaning of existence. Anyone who tries to block this is
just trying to hold you prisoner, and consciousness is realizing this,
there are realities beyond just what we make up that we will begin to
see, but we have to change our viels so we can see them and react to
them, otherwise they just think we enjoy living in this stupid way and
we get what we deserve, but thats not true at all, but the thing is we
just have to act on it, we try to act on it, as Priestesses, and just
as beings, but we feel we are largely alone, the others are out there,
its not about east or west or north or south, its about your heart,
let your heart spill free, like it mix with the hearts of everyone, be
peaceful peaceful enough not to put anyone down or hurt them for
sharing their heart, we have all felt those wounds I think adults do
it to kids, I've seen it happen to so many kids, and then they become
really angry, and hateful and its sad, but thats never the way kids
are at first, that only happens because they know something wrong
happened when the adult said, stop having fun, fairies aren't real,
magic is real, bla bla bla, they just want to suck away all the good
things about life, all the wisdom, but you know what we are stronger
than that, we who are free of heart and free of spirit, it rises again
and again, like old jewish teachings, which were probably destroyed
and altered by these same 'adult' forces, fractalized to a huge degree
by the collective consciousness, but you know what, they don't really
have control, the truth is they are only a part of ourselves the truth
is, we just have to love, live grow love sing be yourself, be natural,
not natural in the way they tell you natural is, but honestly natural,
think for yourself, and it will always rise again in you, it comes
direction from the source, saiyazen, wordless communication, yeah and
thats what true health is
and the truth is, they are not my parents, and they know that deep
down... im so glad i found my family, and things are going well with
that, glad that you asked, still there is some wierdness i mean it is
wierd, fairy stuff is always wierd, but you know i think wordlessly
everyone knows the truth and everything is working out, its not just
about the people, its like a spiritual thing, the spirits are aligned,
life is going in the way its supposed to, and our ways are living on
again... Fairies live!!! Wanti lives! the Rainbow Lives! Awasen Lives!
Nature Lives! Yomo's blessing, truly, truly it is the Yomo's Blessing
and don't get me wrong I appreciate their compassion in letting me
stay here, but I can't help also be disgusted at how they live in the
house, how they disrespect their own ancestors and never give them
anything to be happy about, when they are totally free to, yet they
always want to keep them near and bound up, just for the idea of it,
this is just like living in a picture of black people selling black
people into slavery, and its like ive even attempted to help them and
bring it to their attention even just that it bothers me a lot to see
this constantly all the time I understand it must be respected it was
sad but its not something to dwell on forever and I get ugly looks for
it and even beat up for it twice now, so thats really sad to me, but
theres nothing i can really do (and it makes me wonder how much of
this is still real just because people dont know when to move on, they
don't know how to treat ancestors, they dont really feel it in the way
that i guess a shaman feels it, me and flo have to move on, and we are
moving on (gratefulness) out of this >-bleeped-<ed up place (on so many
levels), because sometimes it dangerous, that itll just go back and
we'll end up in some holocaustish situation just because of the
ignorance and insensitivity of these two individuals and it has
happened exactly like that before and that is frightening and scary...
but blue skies are ahead i think, an adventure is ahead even, and
thats all we've really wanted, but a fair place to start, not this...
this is not fair, this is being taken advantage of and im thankful
that im lucid and have enough off my mind left to not be taken under
by all of the deception even from people who are supposedly helping,
sigh... but there have been some truly helpful people, and all of it
is a teaching i guess
i think my true people, we have no outward mark, we just know when we
meet, we are from many groups and we just know, maybe we were
scattered or something by some huge force and trying to come back
together, but in a way it was a blessing that we were scattered, so we
could help weave everything, back, and even learn more about ourselves
in all that is around us, not just ideas of race or nation or
something like that, but at a really pure and simple level...
sometimes we come together and it seems like families or whatnot, but
thats just a momentary thing, kind of a taoist refuge... but the truth
is i think we have a tendency to be too wild to really hang onto that
for too long, even though its beautiful, if you just stagnate there,
it actually becomes kind of a prison, and it blocks you from the rest
of the world, which isn't good, we are everything, we're the rainbow
family, we're in everything, so we must go and experience it all!!!
