Kia Ora,
A harmless joke is just that, a harmless joke, so please see them as such and have fun...
"I'm an atheist till the day I die...Then I'm open to offers !"
Religion has taught the Atheist two things: One is that God loves them but they're still sinners and will burn in hell. The other is that sex is the most awful, filthy, disgusting thing on earth and one should save it for someone they love...
There's a local bookshop that sells books on Atheism, it's listed as a not for 'prophet' business...
What do you get when you cross a Mormon with an Atheist ? A person who knocked on your door for no reason...
An Atheist was rowing on a lake, when suddenly the Loch Ness monster attacked his boat throwing him into the water. He panicked and shouted "God help me!", and suddenly, the monster and everything around him just stopped.
A voice from the heavens boomed "But you say you don't believe in me, and now you are asking for my help?"
The Atheist looked up and said: Well, ten seconds ago I didn't believe in the Loch Ness Monster either!
A Rabbi was out walking when a arrogant Atheist approached him and declared "I am a Atheist and Free Thinker". To which the Rabbi replied "Do you think God Cares?"
A stranger stops to admire a farmer's fields : "God has been mighty good to your fields,."
Farmer: "Well you should have seen how he treated them when I wasn't around."
An Atheist on his way to a party crashes his car into a car driven by a Christian, both are shaken up but unharmed. The Atheist sees the Christian's crucifix around his neck and begins talking about how lucky they are to be alive, and the Christian says it was God's will. The Atheist then says, "To celebrate God keeping his hand of protection on us, let's drink to our good fortune-it will steady our nerves". The Atheist hands the Christian a flask with whisky in it and he takes a big sip then hands it back to the Atheist. The Atheist in turn, without drinking, gives the flask back to the Christian and says, "No,no you have another drink, I'll just wait until the police get here, then I'll celebrate !."
Well do you have a sense of humor ? And is it as warped as mine ?
Metta Zenda
