Puck from Holland

[Puck]

Hi, my name is Puck.

I've been browsing this forum for a couple of months now and decided that the next logical step would be to actually start posting something.
However, now I don't quite know where to start. A proper introduction would suffice, so that's what I'm trying to do here.

I'm basically a typical guy-dealing-with-his-gender-identity-who-can't-seem-to-make-any-progress-in-life-without-ending-up-feeling-totally-
miserable-misunderstood-and-hopeless-and-oh-yeah-who-still-lives-with-his-parents. Don't get me wrong, I'm not always such a downer.
It's just that lately I kind of am, to the point where I don't want to do anything but crawl up in bed and watch documentaries all day,
preferably about people who're more miserable than me. I'm 20 years old btw, which isn't that bad when you still live at home.

Anyhow, I'm into all kinds of music, anything from indie to R&B, but mostly indie.
Erykah Badu and Leslie Feist are two of my most inspirational artists. I can listen to them all day and never get tired of their songs.
I also love going to the movies and playing a video game here and there.

I'm hoping to find some similar souls here, or not, whom to talk to about things we both can relate with.
Basically, as long as you have a soul, we're good. 

Thank you.

[Bishounen]

Welcome, Puck. What a cute name. 
I hope you will find comfort here and some easing for you mind and Soul.

[annette]

Hi Puck
Welcome to the board.
Nice to see another Dutchie.
I was wondering why you can't seem to make any progress, maybe we can help.


knuffel
Annette

[Devlyn]

Hi Puck, it's nice to meet you! We're glad you decided to join us and start posting. There's always someone to talk to here, about anything that's on your mind. See you around, hugs, Devlyn

[RachaelAnn22]

Welcome Puck,this is a great site.Hugs,Rachael.

[Puck]

What a cute name. 

Why, thank you! My parents would've named me that if I'd been born a girl.
Apparently it means goatsucker, can you imagine? But I like it though.

I was wondering why you can't seem to make any progress, maybe we can help.

Hallo Annette,

Thanks for the warm welcome. 

What I meant to say with that, about making no progress, is that it feels as if I'm living my life as somebody I'm not.
That sounds pretty dramatic, but it's true. It feels like something is missing in my life.

I've had this feeling since I was about 13-14 years old. Like, for instance, I don't like what I see when I look in the mirror.
Though I think I look okay as a guy, it just doesn't reflect how I feel.
Same goes for pictures, but I guess it's pretty common to cringe at the sight of yourself on old photos.

I'm sorry if I can't get more specific than that, it's the first time I turn these feelings into words on a screen, let alone in English.
So, I'm sure I have a lot more tell, but for now I need to get of this laptop for a while and go do something with my hair. 

[annette]

Don't worry Puck, you're specific enough, you have made yourself quite clear.
Rotten feeling, if I may say so.
I hope we can help you to make things clear for yourself.
After all, you only live once, so it's better be a party, isn't it?

hugs
Annette

[YinYanga]

Hi Puck (I actually knew a girl called Puck in college), nice to see another 'dutchie'

I have been on this site for a few years now (under several nicknames, but I love this one best and I remember the password! ) and I am sure you can find plenty of information and stories you can identify with

Sadly for me my contact with other dutchies apart from the forums (I had several nice posts from Annete, wise woman ) were with other people around my age (27) who turned up either gay, straight with a fetish or some weird internet troll , I'm sure we all know them ^^

Enjoy the site, and your own journey

[Puck]

@annette: So far, this site has been really helpful to me. You're very true about the party. I'm having a night out with some of my friends this weekend.
That will clear my head a bit and what not.

@YinYanga: Another Puck, you say? I'm the first one I have ever encountered. Was she nice?
About the straight part, I'm not. Well, I am when you think about it. As for fetishes, I'm not aware I have any.
Does collecting massive amounts of stir sticks from Starbucks on a weekly basis count?
And I've checked out my family tree, but couldn't find any lead that suggests that any member of my family is sharing bloodlines with a troll.
I am weird though.

[Catherine Sarah]

Hi Puck,
A big Aussie welcome to Susan's. The best family on the Web, bar none.  If reading biographies about people is a big draw card for you, go to http://marcibowers.com/grs/tglinks.html and scroll down to the bottom and read about  "Successful TS Women." If that doesn't fire you up, you're dead and someone hasn't told you yet. LOL.

You'll find a fantastic neighbour in Annette, she probably lives just round the corner from you. Not only does she speak your language, she speaks from the heart, the language of the TG community. As we say in Oz, "She's got the runs on the board."

Well, don't let me take up too much of your valuable time. You've a lot of info to get through and a heap of questions to ask. There is also an amazing wealth of experience from those that have "Walked the Talk" In the meantime, be safe, well and happy.
Lotsa huggs
Catherine

[Puck]

Well thank you very much, Catherine, especially for the suggested link. I gave it a quick look and liked what I read and saw, cause I'm a huge sucker for any picture with pretty women in it. So that doesn't make me dead, but more like a perv?

There was one thing in particular I completely agree with, and that's the part about the lack of successful role models for transgendered people. Jamie Clayton and Candis Cayne, those are only a few good examples I can come up with and that's far too few. I'm certain there are a lot of them just waiting to be found, so I would like to see this number rise in the near future so there would be enough role models for everyone to look up to. Hurray!

Anyway, thanks for the welcome. I hope to eventually contribute to this site, but when I have any questions in the meantime, I'll be sure to ask away.

Xx

[annette]

Hi Puck

Of course you won't find many successfull roll models.
People who "walked the walk" don't want to be in the picture, they don't need their hour of fame, but are just living their lives in the gender they belong in to.
What does that mean....well you have probably met them without knowing, they are your retail sellers, doctors, nurses, waitress and so on.
They blend in on a perfect way in society.
They do their job and serve you and after that they are going home to their partner, have some fun in their free hours, in other words, just living like everybody else.
Sometimes, just by a stupid coincidence, co workers find out that their colleague has an unique past, sometimes this will never happen.
When I started all this, I just wanted to have a female body, congruent to my mind, I didn't wanted to be a roll model, I only wanted to live as the woman I was inside and wanted to have the outside adapted to the inside.
I don't want to advertise with my past, hey ....... maybe I served you once, you never know.
There are a lot of sisters like me, they don't go upon the barricades, they are just women.
Is that also a roll model for you?

hugs
Annette

[Puck]

...those are only a few good examples I can come up with and that's far too few. I'm certain there are a lot of them just waiting to be found..

Whoa, sorry about that. It wasn't my intention to offend anyone with that line, or perhaps with the post as a whole. It sounds so denigrating, as if to say there are no transwomen worthy of the title 'Role Model'. I expressed myself poorly on there. I merely wanted to point out that I admire and appreciate women like Jamie and Candis. They are upfront about their past and don't make a big deal out of it. Those are MY role models.

People who "walked the walk" don't want to be in the picture, they don't need their hour of fame, but are just living their lives in the gender they belong in to.
They blend in on a perfect way in society. Is that also a roll model for you?

Yes, very much so.

[annette]

Hey Puck, relax girl, you didn't offend anyone.
Just know that we are here when you need somebody.
Glad you've found us.
I think we have a lot to talk about, don't you think?

hugs
Annette

[Puck]

Okay, I've collected myself now.
I do feel good about this place. I can be myself around here.

There are a lot of things I'd like to ask, and I will eventually.
I'm just very cautious about what I say, your words get easily misinterpreted on the internet.

Thanks for being so cool and understanding, Annette.

[amrisa loftus]

Welcome and don't feel so bad about still living with your parents at that aged. I'm 24 years old and still living with my parents.