Depression

[KarenLyn]

It's one of those nights. Smile, "yes, everything's all right", "no really, I'm fine". I've learned a long time ago my bf takes my depression personally. I can't talk to him. I've tried counselling. I've tried drugs. I've attempted suicide enough times to have permanent kidney, liver and nerve damage. And I sit here now with tears streaming down my face and my throat so tight I couldn't talk if I had someone to talk to and I wonder how long it will be before I try again. Tomorrow I'll be fine again. I used to think it was tied to my gender issues but it's followed me right along. That's why I posted here instead of somewhere else. I'm sorry if this bothers anyone. I don't expect to repeat it. I just needed to get it out.
Thanks.

Karen Lyn

[KarenLyn]

Thanks Tink. I really need to get it out once in a while. I need a hug and a good cry and I'll be fine. I'll have to settle for the cry and I'll do that in the shower.
Thanks again.

Karen Lyn

[TheBattler]

 

That how I feel sometimes, Somtimes I just someone come to help me - tell me everything will be OK and I am not dumb and demented

Depression is such an awfull thing. It makes me do silly things like getting druck to dull the pain. Hope you get better soon Karen.

Alice

[Kate]

Karen,

I'm with Tink here, if it's a long-term depression not tied to anything specific, perhaps the right med would help. There are SO many, you just may not have hit the right one yet.

Otherwise, for tonight, one of the best things you can do is just what you're doing: TALK to us. Put your emotions into words. Consider popping into the CHAT room too, and you can get some real-time feedback. Sometimes just knowing people are there, listening, is worth SO much.

We're here for ya hon. USE us

Kate

[tinkerbell]

I think it is also important to mention that anti-depressants are serious medications which alter certain components on the brain.  And because of this, anti-depressants should never be discontinued at will;  it is also important that every medical practioner who treats you is aware of the names of the medications you take, for your anti-depressant dosage may need to be adjusted a bit.

tink

[Peggiann]

This is so true Tink... Meds should not be stopped abruptly. they need tappered off just like they were increased gradually.

Karenlyn,

I remember those crying long evenings... no fun. I have to say this please even if it gets frustrating to go through finding the right drug that helps save you from these hurtful, painful, crucially life threatening feelings. Please find a Good Dr. you can confide in and trust to help you conquer this horrible life stealing condition.

And yes definetly in the meantime pop into chat. Read some jokes that will make you laugh and maybe beable to step away from the tears for the present.


Smiles and hugs,
Peggiann

[Jonie]

The only thing I can add that hasn't been said already (I think) is a psychologist on television said that when the underlying cause for a persons suicidal impulses are resolved the brain will for a time still have those feelings. It's like this feeling builds up a momentum and takes a little while to slow to a stop. Please talk to someone who can help you sort out these problems, your not alone. I hope you feel better soon.

[katia]

if you've tried everything and nothing seems to work, try this link:

http://www.stresscenter.com/

[Melissa-kitty]

Please keep bugging your psychiatrist about it. How else do they know you are suffering? If your prescriber isn't a psychiatrist, consider going to one. Family docs are good, but if it isn't going away, psychiatrists are often more aggressive with meds, and have approaches other docs don't really explore. Persistence really does pay off here. I know it seems forever and discouraging, though.
Blessings, Tara

[KarenLyn]

What a difference a day makes.  Now I'm just embarrassed about it all.  
I really want to thank everyone for being there for me. And thanks for all the helpful suggestions. I've actually done better with my counselor than with any of the psychiatrists. I had one go on an entire session about my drug abuse problem. Quack. I hadn't used drugs recreationally in over 25 years. I have a better time without them.
Anyway, before I start babbling on too much - Thanks  again everyone. I should be good for another 6 months or so. My crashes are pretty predictable as long as I'm not medicated. I'll just keep working through them. Your help makes it so much less difficult.

Karen Lyn

[TheBattler]

Yep - 1 day makes a big difference. Yesterday I was thinking a ant was taller then me. Now I am OK again.

Alice

[Cindi Jones]

I'm glad to hear you are feeling better.  There's no need to feel embarrassed either!  We ALL suffer from some form of depression in our life.  That is the nature of GID.  It is a cause.

I remember a saying I heard in Utah when I was growing up.  "If you don't like the weather here, just wait 20 minutes." Depression can sort of be like that.  It has ups and downs. But it is important to discover the root cause and take action against it.

Take care kiddo.

Chin up!

Cindi

[tinkerbell]

What a difference a day makes.  Now I'm just embarrassed about it all.  
I really want to thank everyone for being there for me. And thanks for all the helpful suggestions. I've actually done better with my counselor than with any of the psychiatrists. I had one go on an entire session about my drug abuse problem. Quack. I hadn't used drugs recreationally in over 25 years. I have a better time without them.
Anyway, before I start babbling on too much - Thanks  again everyone. I should be good for another 6 months or so. My crashes are pretty predictable as long as I'm not medicated. I'll just keep working through them. Your help makes it so much less difficult.

Karen Lyn

I am glad you are feeling better Karen.  And yes, a day makes a big difference.  And no need to feel embarrassed about anything hon. 

tink

[togetherwecan]

I am depressed. I realize I am depressed. I recognize bad moments when they come and I understand I need to do whatever I need to do to get past them to get to a better moment. So far I have succeeded, a few times I came close to failing, but alas I am still here.

I cannot see how an antidepressant could help when there are serious and real reasons to be depressed. A pill doesn't change situations.

I have real life issues happening that seem totally out of my control. I don't know how to re-grasp the reigns and put everything back in place. I feel every step forward is really two steps back. Sometimes I just can't breath...and those *Sometimes* aren't spaced as far apart as they used to be.

[Suzy]

Karen,

There is certainly nothing to feel bad over.   It is not a moral weakness.  Depression for most of us is indeed a chemical imbalance like Tink indicated.  The key is to find a combination of meds and therapy that works for you.  Some of the meds scare me.  Especially Prozac.  I've taken some, like Paxil, but couldn't stand the side effects.  Lexapro isn't quite as effective, but much less on the side effects, so I take it an live with it.  GID and depression can sometimes be closely linked so be careful of that.  And don't forget to exercise every day.  It produces a chemical reaction better than any artificial drug out there.

Hang in there, hon.  Go ahead and scream if you need to!

Kristi

[Melissa-kitty]

TWC, sometimes an antidepressant med can help, despite there being clear circumstances for your mood. It can help you be more you at your best, your energy and focus. As others say, it doesn't always work, and is never an excuse not to work on oneself, but it probably isn't worth rejecting out of hand, either. There are some generic and cheap, too. Take good care of yourself, girl. You are well liked here!
Blessings, Tara

[Lucy]

What a horrible thing, it kicks u when ur down & just when u tink it cant get any worse, it does. My medication has removed all my emotions and left me with GID and lonlyness. But thats not all that bad, it gives me chance to understand wot i need