Many of you know me as someone who is open with my thoughts and feelings. A friend of mine says that I'm very unusual in revealing these feelings -- that most people are far more guarded.
Well, I'll charge ahead with another topic and admit to you my reality. I probably had sex 6 times before I transitioned (at age 47). After my SRS operation in 1999, I had sex with two lesbians, about 4 times total...and that was within my first year after SRS. We loved one another but I think my disinterest in sex gradually led them to walk away (I can hear the laughs - "Yeah, I would have, too!"). I dated seven women and six men in that first year and, now, seven years later, don't date at all. The women I met were great but the men seemed far too pushy -- even when I told them that I wasn't interested in sex, they still persued it. I wasn't game. When I dated, I stressed that it was important to me to try to find FRIENDS. I felt that if the friendship worked out, things like love and sexual relationships could more naturally evolve. I suppose that I'll reach a point someday where old age will kick in and I will encounter a lot more people, both male and female, who place love and companionship much higher in importance than sex.
So, how is YOUR post-op as far as sexual relations? A TS friend of mine "couldn't wait to try it out" and she signed onto a local video dating service and, within a few weeks, did "try it out." While she found the experience interesting, I felt that she was taking a big chance in the possibility of getting STD's or AIDS. It's bad enough taking those risks with someone you really love let alone trying it with someone you've barely met. As the saying goes, "when you go to bed with someone, you go to bed with nearly everyone that person has slept with." A GG friend of mine (my ex - we lived together 21 years - she's now happily remarried) told me that she always asked the men she dated (after we broke up) for STD and AIDS tests before doing anything. While it might not be "cool," she didn't consider dying or living with a lifelong STD to be too cool either.
So, there are dangers but, at the top of my list, is just my disinterest in sex. In my first year, I didn't feel orgasms. It was only, after a year when my nerve endings finally reconnected, that I surprisingly felt my first "O." I know that certain SRS surgeons' procedures are less traumatic to nerve endings than the one I had. Maybe, one day (or should I say night?), I'll change my mind about all this and will find wonderful sex. My transitioning, by the way, had nothing to do with desire for sex but rather was about my sexual identity.
I noticed that my SRS doctor never asked me about sex or "O"age afterwards. Yours probably hasn't also. How's your sex life AFTER your operation?
Teri Anne
P.S. - I encourage F2M's to vote on this also. Post-Op is Post-Op.
