Wishing I had a time machine...

[BillieTex]

I would take what I have learned the last 10 years ago with me and gone back to 18 year old me and sat me down and explained what to expect, and then warn me to bite the bullet and start hormones right there and then, hell me was called ma'am even back then. I would tell me use what little balls me had back then and come out to my family, take the beating and humiliation as they tell others how they failed and me should go away and not contact them again. (yeah I do believe they'd do that) Then go and learn a profession where you can transition and live your own life. There was no internet back then but i would tell me to find a way or the rest of your life will be pain, loneliness, and loss. Then again maybe not, maybe it is good we can't go back. I guess there will always be pain, loneliness and loss, it's those things that steered me here. It may suck a lot of the times but me is still here...

[Nicolas]

Wow, the possibilities. In truth if I could go back in time I would love to go back to my childhood and just reassure myself that things will get better.

[GhostTown11]

Wow. This is a bit painful to think about it. So much crap I could have avoided. Friends I could have kept. I would have sheltered my self from a lot of stuff that I didn't need. None of this is even trans related it's just general life screwiness related.

[Alainaluvsu]

I would've gone back to 1988, shook some sense into me (yes, physically pick up lil 6 yr old me and shook me like crazy) and then grabbed me by the arm, yanked me to my mom, and told her that I love girls clothes, love playing house with the girls, want to play with dolls etc. Then I would've kissed myself on the forehead and said "You're going to have a much better life than I had"

[Jamie D]

I would take what I have learned the last 10 years ago with me and gone back to 18 year old me and sat me down and explained what to expect, and then warn me to bite the bullet and start hormones right there and then, hell me was called ma'am even back then. I would tell me use what little balls me had back then and come out to my family, take the beating and humiliation as they tell others how they failed and me should go away and not contact them again. (yeah I do believe they'd do that) Then go and learn a profession where you can transition and live your own life. There was no internet back then but i would tell me to find a way or the rest of your life will be pain, loneliness, and loss. Then again maybe not, maybe it is good we can't go back. I guess there will always be pain, loneliness and loss, it's those things that steered me here. It may suck a lot of the times but me is still here...

We all have regrets, and "what ifs," and "but fors".

I try not to dwell on the past - it is gone.

Instead, I try to work on the here and now, and be the best person I can be.

[V M]

If I had a time machine I'd go back to make sure my parents never meet each other, never date each other, never get married and never give birth to me

But that ain't gonna happen so I have to deal with the crap hand I've been dealt and make the best of it

[Kelly J. P.]

 I have my fair share of regrets. However, while one cannot change the past, one can change one's perception of the past...

And I will, in time. For now, I'm just trying to make sure I don't create more regrets.

[eli77]

I would go back in time and throttle 18-year-old me for lying on the psych eval. You little bitch, you screwed us so bad.

Meh, there are half a hundred points where I could have made things better if I'd just had a bit more information or the capacity to trust another human being. I try not to think about it too much. It doesn't help.

[LadySerraphym]

As many times as I have wished for this. The fact is, I would never want to cause my kids to never be. I love them too much, but I would talk myself into HRT shortly after the birth of my daughter. That would at least give me another 14 to 15 years of being me.

[luna nyan]

If I had a time machine, In one way, I wish that I had told my mother when I was 14 - she would have had me see a pysch there and then, and who knows where I would have ended up then, the time being the mid 1980's.

But then again, I wouldn't have had my kids who I absolutely love to death, and to be honest, they are the most important thing in my life at this time.

[Kadri]

I've thought that I would go back dressed up as a fairy godmother in a huge pink tutu and ruby slippers to slap some sense into teenage me.....

I would not have had the confidence to do anything about it until much later, but I think I would have made less trouble for myself and others, and would probably have started transition earlier

[r22b2]

I would've gone back to 1988, shook some sense into me (yes, physically pick up lil 6 yr old me and shook me like crazy) and then grabbed me by the arm, yanked me to my mom, and told her that I love girls clothes, love playing house with the girls, want to play with dolls etc. Then I would've kissed myself on the forehead and said "You're going to have a much better life than I had"

Sigh, I did that when I was six in 1984 - well not quite as blatant, but I never hid the fact that I liked wearing mum's dresses, and always wanted to play with girl's toys - and dad sat me down and told me that it was dirty of me for wanting to wear girl's clothes. Mum asked if I was sick and that perhaps they should take me to a doctor.

A few weeks later dad started teaching me martial arts. He also started bodybuilding that year too. I was their only child, and I think his sense of mahood was threatened by me, and in retrospect I think he wanted to push himself to be more manly because his 'son' was such a girly kid.

There's no point in fantasizing about time machines. We live in today. Besides, the whole butterfly effect / sliding doors thing might mean that even if you did go back and change something, it's possible that one of your decision changes could mean that you might be run over by a truck or something earlier on in life! So who knows!

[Torn1990]

i like this a lot. your conclusion just seems so real to me.

[MyKa]

1991 wash u hospital to pull the plug on the machine keeping me alive

[BillieTex]

i have had a theory about time for a long time, not something I have shared much. but I believe if you approach it like any other frequency like light or sound, it can be divided, separated and eventually...  ahhh maybe some day

[jainie marlena]

I don't think I would have listened to myself. I may have told the future me that I was of the devil or something. One thing I do know at this point I am in the past of the future of trans folks. I hope we can change the past while we can for our future. What we do know now is what matters. we live on the only time machine and it is only going one way so make the best of it. Who we are now and what we know now can have an empact on the future so lets change the past.

[JoanneB]

I'll opt for taking a chance and totally destroying the space time continuum. I wouldn't go back to change anything. The 60's, 70's, 80's, even 90's, was not a good time to be a TS. What I would do is grab up the 12 y/o me and bring her into the present/future and hope for the best

I wonder if even Dr. Who can pull that off for me?

[Nov413]

If I had a time machine I'd go back and make sure Hitler never rose to power, but then would the depression have stopped?
Then of course, I don't know I would have ever been born.
That's why it's folly to think about changing the past. You don't know what could have happened, only guess. And as time has proven countless times, there will be unexpected variables that could arise and take your life an entirely different direction.

Instead of thinking about what could have been, think about what was, and more importantly, what IS. Use the past to explain why things are the way they are, but also accept that that can't be changed. Then, use that past to grow on it. If the past was painful, then see how far you've become and how much you have grown, or will grow. There were ups and downs, but don't let the downs cause you guilt and don't let the ups cause longing. Just learn from it, and continue striving for betterment, because things can always get better.

Also remember that the place where you are now is the product of everything you have been through. It was not time wasted, it's just the time that you needed to become the person who you will be. Cherish that, because if you don't, then no one else will.

[Sephirah]

If I had a time machine, if it were possible, I wouldn't go back at all. I'd go forward ten years to see if I was where I want to be. If so then I'd know I was on the right track. And if not, when I got back, I'd work out what needed to be done which isn't being done, and do it.

[BillieTex]

I'll opt for taking a chance and totally destroying the space time continuum. I wouldn't go back to change anything. The 60's, 70's, 80's, even 90's, was not a good time to be a TS. What I would do is grab up the 12 y/o me and bring her into the present/future and hope for the best

I wonder if even Dr. Who can pull that off for me?

save me a seat in the Tardis