My Predicament

[TorontoGirl4Life]

Hey everyone,

So my predicament may seem confusing, so please bear with me and I will try to lay it all out as clearly as possible. Ever since starting transition 4 years ago, I have found myself struggling to find decent minded, honest and fun people to socially interact with. I've either met people who would claim to be trans and then do a 360 and say they're not interested anymore over the course of a month or people who've back stabbed me in many ways. I've tried to be as good a friend as I can and I often find myself frustrated as I hate not having people to go out with. I'm someone who loves to be socialable, but also skeptical as I don't wanna engage myself with more people who are not legit. In the end I really only have my mother and my boyfriend who lives in the USA. As my transition is coming to an end after I get my surgery approval and such I find myself unsure of what to do anymore. Anyone ever been in a situation like this or has some idea of what I could do ?. It's be greatly appreciated !.

Thanks !

[eli77]

Are you looking specifically for trans folk to hang out with? If so, well, Toronto does have Sherbourne and the 519. The trans community in TO is the biggest by far in the country. Trans communities do tend to contain a lot of crazy though. Most of the people who get their life together move on and disappear.

Otherwise you get the same advice as everyone: pick something you like doing / are interested in, find a group for people who want to do / are interested in that, make friends. Friends are really just a factor of proximity and shared interests.

As for the issue of peoples' honesty etc., I dunno. You just learn to get a feel for people. And you don't let them get too close too fast. I kind of have the opposite problem really, I have such a hard time trusting people, I rarely move past the "casual friends" phase.

[Traivs]

I am not sure when it come to trans friends cause well i have none. I do have lots of friends just not other trans people I don't seem to have a problem finding people to go out with probably due to having a great social network before transitioning. I hope you find what your looking for. Were you looking for trans people specifically or just friends in general?

[GendrKweer]

What I've seen and realizing more and more (especially since my own recent srs, although I dont present exclusively as female even now) is that many of us do/should/should think about forgetting the fact that you are "trans" anything. You are a woman, are you not? So although we are all sisters in a way, brought together by a shared ordeal and then good fortune, we have all become what we always were, ie female. So look for female friends, just like you. Of course, gender shouldnt matter too much, so look for any friends, but the girls always seem better to me. 🙂

[Kevin Peña]

Well, there isn't a problem in going out by yourself sometimes. I go to restaurants, public pools, etc. by myself a lot. If you're looking for friends, I would say that you don't have to have trans friends. I agree with GendrKweer in the sense that trans is just an inconvenient label. Hang out with people you like, regardless of their gender status. All that matters is that you actually enjoy the company of the people around you. That's what friends are. You don't need to have everything in common. If anything, that would be a bit boring, thus making the main objective in socializing to be spending time with people you actually like. Looking for specific details in your friends is just going to make it harder to find any.