It's Finally Starting to Bother Me

[Constance]

The fact that I'll never be pregnant and/or nurse a child is finally starting to bother me.

It's weird because I have 2 adult kids and have no desire to start over. But at the same time, I see a pregnant woman and feel a pang of sadness.

[alice10]

It does suck but at least you can be the woman you want to be. 

[Brooke777]

Look into the University of Whashington. There is a program that started a few years ago that has the potential to help women like us.

[suzifrommd]

The fact that I'll never be pregnant and/or nurse a child is finally starting to bother me.

It's weird because I have 2 adult kids and have no desire to start over. But at the same time, I see a pregnant woman and feel a pang of sadness.

I hear you sister. I find myself praying to be able to accept that. Along with million of cis FAABs with reproductive problems.

[Constance]

It does suck but at least you can be the woman you want to be. 

Yeah, I just have to keep reminding myself that. It's not like I burst into tears when I see a pregnant or nursing woman. It's just a somewhat sad moment reminding me of what I won't be able to experience.

But, I don't regret being a father and I wouldn't trade my kids for anything.

Look into the University of Whashington. There is a program that started a few years ago that has the potential to help women like us.

I'm 43 years old at this point and pre-op. I think I'll skip this. I feel like I'm too old to be starting over even though I know there are folks who start families at my age.

This is great info, though, for those who are younger than me and/or do want to proceed in such a way.

I hear you sister. I find myself praying to be able to accept that. Along with million of cis FAABs with reproductive problems.

Good point. I hadn't thought of such persons.

[Alainaluvsu]

I feel ya chicka. It's easy to get the feeling whenever cis women start talking about their kids, or child birth, or what they go thru during pregnancy.

[Beth Andrea]

Wow, I had thought it was just me...

A few weeks ago, I had an "experience" while lying in bed, doing my nightly massaging...I suddenly realized that a woman mother creates, holds, and nurtures her child inside her body. Her very blood is given to the child, to strengthen and protect him/her...until the babe is born.

Then, while her arms hold the babe and keep it warm, her breasts provide nourishment--again, directly from her blood. The same blood that runs in her veins, tending all of her body's needs.

Without a uterus, I will never feel that babe inside. (And at my age, I don't want to start over with a newborn!) But, I could, in theory, provide suckle to a babe...and the sense of my body providing direct nourishment to a tiny, helpless child gave me a moment's insight to the joy and wonder that a mother has for her child.

This insight--at a very personal, intimate level--is something that I, as a man, could logically understand...but only now could I feel that level of joy that every mother does, even if it was for just a moment.

[Padma]

It's small comfort, but at least we can finally give birth to ourselves.

It makes me a little sad too that I can't be a mother, but I can be motherly in the best senses of the word (and in fact, always have been), and express it that way instead.

[Rita]

Its not that I want a baby right now or anytime soon, but its true, if I could mother a child naturally I would be really Happy ^.^ I have cried over this before whenI went through my bouts of I will never be 100%

[Elsa]

a woman mother creates, holds, and nurtures her child inside her body. Her very blood is given to the child, to strengthen and protect him/her...until the babe is born.

Then, while her arms hold the babe and keep it warm, her breasts provide nourishment--again, directly from her blood. The same blood that runs in her veins, tending all of her body's needs.

Without a uterus, I will never feel that babe inside. (And at my age, I don't want to start over with a newborn!) But, I could, in theory, provide suckle to a babe...and the sense of my body providing direct nourishment to a tiny, helpless child gave me a moment's insight to the joy and wonder that a mother has for her child.

I cried when I read this...

There's a part of me that deeply feels like running away and crying whenever I think that I will never get pregnant and never have kids.

It's been and always has been my biggest problem in accepting myself and has been and will be one of the toughest things to get past.

Although, I will always feel pangs of jealousy when cis women talk about being pregnant or when I see pregnant women.

It's something that will always remind me of something that's missing.

[Rita]

Its funny, what we want and need so bad is what other woman don't like and wish they could get rid of. (Menstration, which is part of the cycle of life)

I mean I don't want PMS but if I went through PMS it means my life would be perfect.  If that makes any sense.  I kinda get these knots of anxiety when I talk about it magically hoping i'll wake  up 100% whole physically.  Ai Ai I should shush now I am sorta going to break down if I dont.

I cant do that at work.

[JoW]

This really fits in with how I've been thinking lately... transition or no transition, there are certain things that (if magic isn't real) are never going to happen. Like: I'm never going to bear a child. I'm never going to menstruate. I'm never going to have been my mother's daughter. These things have to be accepted and  - well,  mourned.

Sorry to make my first post such a downer but that's how I'm seeing it at the moment. There are things that transition could bring me and there are things that it couldn't .

[Constance]

This really fits in with how I've been thinking lately... transition or no transition, there are certain things that (if magic isn't real) are never going to happen. Like: I'm never going to bear a child. I'm never going to menstruate. I'm never going to have been my mother's daughter. These things have to be accepted and  - well,  mourned.

Sorry to make my first post such a downer but that's how I'm seeing it at the moment. There are things that transition could bring me and there are things that it couldn't .

I think that accepting and mourning these things is a crucial part of transition. At least, for me it is.

[suzifrommd]

I think that accepting and mourning these things is a crucial part of transition. At least, for me it is.

Connie Anne, I also want to point out that it's a gift to feel things deeply the way you do. Not everyone can. Women are far more likely to receive this gift than men.

When I have sad stuff to deal with, this feels like a curse, but this kind of sensitivity makes living life a much more vivid experience.

[Taka]

Its funny, what we want and need so bad is what other woman don't like and wish they could get rid of. (Menstration, which is part of the cycle of life)

as much as they complain about it, they don't really want to be rid of it. i asked my sister about it when it still hadn't come back nearly 6 months after she gave birth, and she said that not getting it makes her feel like her whole life has been paused. the cycle is one of the things that make a person feel like a woman, so when a cis woman loses it, that may actually cause her a lot of distress

[Constance]

Connie Anne, I also want to point out that it's a gift to feel things deeply the way you do. Not everyone can. Women are far more likely to receive this gift than men.

When I have sad stuff to deal with, this feels like a curse, but this kind of sensitivity makes living life a much more vivid experience.

Prior to starting HRT, I felt like I was limited in my emotional responses. About 3 weeks into HRT I was the weepiest damn thing you'd ever see. At about 8-9 months into HRT, things stabilized. I still have a greater emotional response than before I started hormones, but I don't cry because I got a helpful email from a coworker.

[jacqueline_rose]

Crying over this is natural, and better for you than internalizing it. If you feel the saddness, let it out. there is a saying "shared sorrow is half the sorrow, shared happiness is twice the happiness." That you feel this way isnt a bad thing but rather an afirmation of who you are. Dont let it get you down, but dont deny its existence either.

I want to be a mother very badly. Whenever I thought about being a parent (because I never considered myself a father even before I knew my true self) I knew that I wanted them to be of me. There are advances in medicine that will allow us to give birth and I believe that we should pursue them. We all know the truth of what we are when we begin changing whether we admit it to ourselves or not, but that doesnt mean we should limit oursleves because of it. I am proud to say that I am a woman and one day this body will have children regardless of if it was supposed to or not!

So dont let it get you down. Remember always that so long as someone struggles for something then there is hope of it happening.

[muffinpants]

as much as they complain about it, they don't really want to be rid of it. i asked my sister about it when it still hadn't come back nearly 6 months after she gave birth, and she said that not getting it makes her feel like her whole life has been paused. the cycle is one of the things that make a person feel like a woman, so when a cis woman loses it, that may actually cause her a lot of distress

I wouldn't say that for all of them! I hate getting my period with a passion. When I was 12 and I first started I cried my eyes out thinking my life was over... The possibility of getting pregnant makes me want to vomit and when I see pregnant women or babies I just cringe in disgust. Anything 'motherly' kinda makes me ill, especially when it's applied to me. I have nothing against people who want to have babies and I think it is incredibly depressing that there are people out there that want babies that can't have them. I would gladly give up my ability and grant it to anyone else, given the chance.

[Taka]

I wouldn't say that for all of them! I hate getting my period with a passion. When I was 12 and I first started I cried my eyes out thinking my life was over... The possibility of getting pregnant makes me want to vomit and when I see pregnant women or babies I just cringe in disgust. Anything 'motherly' kinda makes me ill, especially when it's applied to me. I have nothing against people who want to have babies and I think it is incredibly depressing that there are people out there that want babies that can't have them. I would gladly give up my ability and grant it to anyone else, given the chance.

ah, yes. i'm sorry i forgot your little minority. but to most women who want their reproductive abilities, the cycle is something they'd rather have than get rid of. of course most of them probably wish it didn't have to come with so much bleeding and/or cramps though

[Rita]

I understand that reasoning,  I wish I could experience it to  , it brings forth the realization more so than anything else that I was born with XY chromosomes as a girl.