showed up my bio cousin

[Jayr]

Sounds like typical boy competition to me. If the cousin was showing off, then he should expect to be challenged. This sort of thing happens in adulthood as well--for example, I was in my gay group last year, mouthing off about something (I can't remember what), and a couple of the guys took me down a peg. I had second thoughts and retracted, and we went on with our conversation. No big deal. They were quite right to say something; I was being obnoxious.

I should also point out that if the roles were reversed, it wouldn't be a "fair fight," so to speak. From what I have read, nobody was trying to say that the cousin isn't a real man, but trans men are told that pretty consistently. Apples and oranges. Anyway, if the OP were going overboard and other men were around, he would probably be challenged as well.

I agree! It sounded just like typical guys playing around, it's not literally his story that bothered me;
What bothers me is the double standard from the full picture.

If the roles were reversed, no one would have been telling the OP he's not a real man either.
Still would have been friendly competition about body hair yet people would have reacted completely differently.
(Calling his cousin a a**hole for example.)

That's what bothered me at first but now I'm just ticked that someone flat out admitted they had a right over a group of people because they're part of another...

[Kevin Peña]

So if a trans guy just came up and said, "I'm finally growing a beard!" after a lifetime of living a lie as a female, and someone else just rained on his parade, there would be no difference?

Honestly, there is a difference. It's like proposing to someone at another person's wedding. Sometimes, there are extenuating circumstances and you should just let those struggling with their gender identity have a boost, especially because no one was being put down in the process.

Plus, no one said that one group had more rights than another. We're just acknowledging a clear difference. 

[=celestica=]

So if a trans guy just came up and said, "I'm finally growing a beard!" after a lifetime of living a lie as a female, and someone else just rained on his parade, there would be no difference?

No?
I have a very flat chest and hardly no rear and I get sad about it but there are cis women just like that.
I have big hands and big feet but guess what? Cis women can have those too.
How do you think those cis women feel?

At least I have a reason for why my body is like this.

Trans people need to stop feeling sorry for themselves.

[Kevin Peña]

Yeah, but when a cis-female is skinny, she's just deemed to be a skinny female.

When a trans person doesn't look "female" enough, people use that to attack her.

Big difference. 

[=celestica=]

Oh, I forgot that women don't get crap everyday for how they look.
Sorry.


Modified for profanity 

[Jayr]

Oh, I forgot that women don't get crap everyday for how they look.
Sorry.

I'm leaving it at that, you should too.
No point arguing with someone that has an excuse for everything.

[Kevin Peña]

Oh, I forgot that women don't get crap everyday for how they look.
Sorry.

There's a difference between having "flaws" pointed out to you and what trans people have to go through: being treated like a "fake" male/female because of the same "flaws."

If you're bothered by double standards, why doesn't that bother you? 

I'm leaving it at that, you should too.
No point arguing with someone that has an excuse for everything.

Well, they're not so much excuses as they are realities. 

[Justin 21]

OK everyone needs to calm the hell down, for starters i was not making fun of my cousins masculinity, it was all in fun, it's just how we are in Australia, men and women jest with each other for fun all the time, we were just a couple guys mucking around, and i am aware that there are double standards but why is it every time i post a situation where i came out on top does it turn into a bitching session about double standards, can't people take it how it was meant as just a couple guys doing what guys do, when ever this kinda thing happens it ruins the very few wins i get and kinda reminds me i am not a real guy, so thanks for ruining it

[Kevin Peña]

Sorry. 

[Jayr]

I apologies. I had no idea others had brought this topic up in one of your other threads before.
Wouldn't have brought anything up in this specific thread had I known.

It wasn't my intention for it to escalate the way it did,
Someone just hit a nerve by saying cismen and transmen are different and I allowed it to get to me instead of just letting it pass by.
Sorry it came off horrible, I got wrapped up in the argument. You're just as much of a man as your cousin is, dude.

Let me just say;
Not only are you a real man, you're a hairy one at that.
Be glad! I'm like a hairless mole rat
(Kim Possible anyone?)

[Arch]

So if a trans guy just came up and said, "I'm finally growing a beard!" after a lifetime of living a lie as a female, and someone else just rained on his parade, there would be no difference?

I would definitely jump all over a trans guy who started bragging about how insanely hairy he was if he was being obnoxious about it--especially if there were lots hairier guys in the room.

"Look, I'm finally growing a beard!" is not the same thing, to my mind. That rates a "Good for you!" from me. It's all in how they package it...

[Arch]

Personally, some of my favorite moments in my current life are the ones in which some gay cis friend and I are insulting each other in a friendly way. He'll make a joke about the "Vulva" that I drive, I'll make a smart remark back, he'll return, I'll zap him back, we'll jostle each other physically.

Maybe it's just a guy thing that women don't get? (Then again, I've run into so many trans men who don't get it, either. I think they spent most of their time in lesbian groups and don't understand male bonding.)

[Kevin Peña]

Oh trust me, I've been around plenty of guys. I get that they rip on each other a lot. 

[Arch]

Oh trust me, I've been around plenty of guys. I get that they rip on each other a lot. 

I figured that you had, but that isn't what I'm getting at. I've always enjoyed this sort of bonding; even when I was living as a girl, I worked in a male-dominated job and gave as good as I got--actually, since I was a bit quicker than they were, I gave better than I got. I suppose I was treated as a sort of honorary guy. Anyway, I liked it as much as the other guys obviously did, and I like and expect it even more now.