*Newish* 38 year old married crossdresser.

[changeling]

Hello all. I hope everyone here is well and its nice to have joined these boards. Please forgive me because this may be a long post but I appreciate your patience if you read through it all.

First of all I am a straight male who is fortunate enough to be married to an understanding wife who knows that I enjoy wearing women's clothes and she has even bought high heels and other clothing for me such as lingerie and stockings. Its not only highly erotic to me but is a catalyst for our sex life and something I have been doing for over 20 years and over that period I really enjoyed the feeling of being skinny and looking great in a pair of high heels.

I still enjoy crossdressing although the frequency with which I have been doing it over the past couple of years has mellowed considerably, however just recently the urge to crossdress to a 'deeper level' has increased considerably.

I have just recently done something that I have never done before and went and bought a couple of pairs of high heels and a fair amount of lingerie for my own use, (and also my wife who knows and okays my purchasing this lingerie.

However I also went and bought a few extras such as a wig and fake eyelashes because my wife agreed to do all of my makeup when all these new clothes arrived.

Its like a gateway of opportunity has opened for me because now I am thinking that my wife, despite having some reservations about the intensity of the experience, is somewhat open to the idea of me taking it a little further in a purely non HRT sense.

So now I am thinking about, (and doing) exercises to try and accentuate a female figure upon a masculine figure, (i.e., trying to make my butt and hips slightly bigger while losing a few pounds around the stomach) and wearing a corset to try and make my waist smaller. I see these gorgeous looking women on TV and film with their gorgeous figures and faces and I am moved to be like them.

But I wonder how far I can take it. I am a 38 year old male and an ex gym rat who weighs about 86 kg and I want to be as beautiful as I can be around the home and during intimate moments with my wife because she is so understanding. But I guess its a journey for the both of us, a journey that I am not willing to sacrifice my masculinity to walk, I just want to be more feminine in a visually appealing way.

I really don't know what to expect from me coming here but I feel like I need advice from people who have already walked this path, because right now I feel a little lost. I appreciate your time good people

I guess I just want to look alluring and feminine.

Regards Changeling

[Devlyn]

Hi Changeling, welcome to Susan's Place!  I'm a crossdresser, too. It sounds like you have a good relationship with open communication. Glad you found the site, hugs, Devlyn

[barbie]

Hi, changeling,

Maybe my background and culture differ greatly from yours, but I also have a dedicated wife who understands and accepts my crossdressing as your wife. I also have 3 lovely kids. I live in S. Korea. My wife has purchased skirts, heels and others when I just started crossdressing. Nowadays I purchase by myself. She washes and cleans my underwear including bras. Sometimes we exchange cosmetics and clothes. Virtually all of my clothes are ladies'.

However, I think there is a limit where I am allowed to reach.

In my case, I once tried to get HRT and got an approval letter from a psychiatrist. But the physician refused my request of prescription. The physician was the most prestigious doctor regarding SRS in my country. He has conducted several hundred m2f SRSs. He said to me that he will issue prescription if I come again with my wife.

I guess he probably has a lot of bad experiences by approving HRT for m2f transgender persons who are married. Those wives probably vehemently protested after watching the physical change of their husband. The doctor said that my body and face will become more feminine and my voice will be also greatly changed, and most wives would not tolerate it.

Whatever I wear or how much I look feminine, my wife always considers me as her husband and the dad of 3 kids. However, HRT is different.

I gave up HRT about 4 years ago. I think you have better talk with your wife before starting HRT. I think your wife should approve it by 100% after understanding well the effects of HRT.

barbie~~

[changeling]

Hi barbie.

First off thanks for replying, I really appreciate it.

I too wonder about the limit where my wife goes from being comfortable with me crossdressing to being upset. I wonder if seeing me in full female dress,makeup etc on all at the same time will push her into unwelcome territory. She has expressed the same to me but I reassure her that despite wearing female attire I am still her husband. I am not anything other than the man I am and I am exploring my femininity.

That's the main reason why I don't want to do HRT, (I have even discussed this with my wife) but at the same time its somewhat exciting to think of the possible transformations regardless, but that's my limit.

At my age I want to try and effect a transformation naturally whereby I can look as feminine and even sexy as I can. A kind of 2 days a month type of female impersonator for instance.

At the moment its playful and comfortable but I am frightened that these new and 'evolving' goals of mine may compromise our successful marriage. I guess the major thing in my corner is that my wife understands it and doesn't think that it is weird.

I really appreciate your words.

[barbie]

This thread may help you:
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,143622.0/topicseen.html

Barbie from Samsung Mobile

[Ms. OBrien CVT]

Hi changeling,

Welcome to our little family. Over 11865 . That would be one heck of a family reunion.

Feel free to post your successes/failures, Hopes/dreams.  Ask questions and seek answers. Give and receive advice.

But remember we are family here, your family now. And it is always nice to have another member.

And be sure to check out these links ( MUST READS )

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Janet  )O(

[Amanda M]

Hello, Changeling.  If I may make a couple of suggestions.  Firstly communicate, communicate - and communicate.  Secondly, remember that what might seem quite natural to you may not feel the same to her.  Finally take it very, very slowly - ther is NO rush.

All the very best to you both.

[curiousandconsideringit]

I think it's great your wife is open to your needs. I haven't had any female clothe in a while and since I am losing weight and getting in shape I told my wife she should buy me a sexy thong once I hit my goal weight. she made a face at me but then said she would if that's what I really want.

[cdalyssa]

Hello Changeling,

Reading your post was like reading my own thoughts. We are both 38 and having feelings of wanting to take this crossdressing as far as we can, without HRT's even if doing HRT's is some what intriguing. The only difference is unlike you, I am not married, never been. I have told a few women I've dated about my crossdressing. While some were ok with it, none of the relationships lasted long enough to consider marriage. If you feel the need to share more, I'm a great listener, as are many others here.

[gennee]

Hi Changeling and welcome to Susan's. I started crossdressing eight years ago in my mid fifties. Initially,my wife was shocked  when I told her (after she found some of my clothes). It took time for her to accept this and now she does.

I discovered that my feelings ran deeper than just wearing clothes. I attended support group meetings that help me understand what I was going through. I did further research and discovered that I was transgender. I have a male body and a feminine mind. I'm not going to have HRT because I don't feel the need to. I've left the door open, though.

How far you want to go only you can determine. Keep communicating with your wife and answer any questions she may have.