Discrimination and survival driving me to the sex industry

[angiejuly]

 2 years I have not been able to find any work. I have talents so I painted an amazing geometric painting with a cat whisker but cannot sell prints, I have done all I can. I am offered money for sex all the time and have none on me all the time. construction, boat reabuilds, handy work, server, all jobs coming out local I try I interview. Then hear back I did not get hired because they worry what customers will think from others. ( Small town). I am getting more and more frustrated of the bigorty. Over qualified is another reason I am broke and jobless.

   Sex, seems to be the only income available to me in 2 years. If I want to own shoes, eat and have a dog in 2 years in this island sex is the only way so far. The misconceptions of transsexuals are still 100% bigorty. you cannot argue that. Ask 1000 people their opinion you get politically correct answers, but when they have to get close enough to work or speak with us things change.

  I have only been asked out ny guys who think of me as meat. Did you know the public thinks we transition to be sex meat for men. That there is no other reason than we are sex  crazed freaks that should be shot.

Funny thing is I am treated fine in public, it just comes to survival , only horny men are willing to help me with that. This fact also drives an overwhelming urge to stay on strong drugs like heroine even though I am sober now. I am thinking of selling myself and doing heroine to deal with it. I am loosing the point of being alive, why am I here?  I have worked on myself spiritually, emotionally, accepted the state took my children and life away because I am a crazy transsexual person. The overwheling unjust and abuse to me/us is mind blowing. 

It is no wonder so many of us commit suicide. I heard there can be life after transition. This is a lie. society only allows it if they cannot tell you transitioned. For the rest of us. I support the suicid dissision of trans people. It really is what is best if you feel it is. Nothing gets better. 2 years have shown me this.

[kelly_aus]

As someone who has previously worked worked in the sex industry, all I'm going to say is don't do it.. It takes a certain kind of mindset, and even if you have it, it will leave you warped.. My late partner, Alison also worked in the industry and she was also quite forward about it's rough side..

Like you, I've not worked a steady proper job in 2 years, but I could never go back to sex work. I'm still working on the scars from last time..

[Jamison]

I'm sorry you feel like those are your only options, but I hope you don't accept that fate. You were smart enough to reach out and I can only hope you remain strong. Whether your trans or not, things can always get better. Sometimes it takes longer for some than others, it just depends how much it's worth it to you.

I would recommend trying to work for the State. I know (at least here in California), many mtfs have been able to get jobs because they respect a strict non-discrimination policy and even strive for "diversity."

[xchristine]

Maybe get off the island??

[Jess42]

I never judge anyone by what they do. Since you talk about going back on the heroine to deal with selling yourself, heed Kelly's advice because you probably don't have the mindset for doing it. Don't blow being sober after making progress on that front.

[Lo]

What about cam work? You don't have to deal with people invading your personal space and your physical body, and you generally get to call the shots. I have a friend who is a cam girl and makes gifsets and videos to sell because she couldn't find work, and she says it's the most fulfilling job she's ever had, college degree be damned. She's cis of course, but I'm sure there are websites you could get in on that provide you with a chat and payment system and all that like she did. It just takes a lot of -self promotion and, like others said, a certain kind of personality.

But I agree, if you're going to sacrifice being sober to do it, don't do it :[

[Tristan]

Yeah I have to agree the sex thing can be a tough one. I would say move off the island to a bigger city that way you can find work through like a work source or job core. Being trans doesn't have to be bad. I know of plenty that work in health care and public safety. The key seems to be blend in and be a worker at work and not bring trouble to the job in like Facebook or protest/ rallies. We had a feminist that got fired for bring bad press to the job once but it can be alot better. I would imagine in a smaller area though it must be hard to get a fresh start

[Evolving Beauty]

I had the same problem like you too in the beginning. I lost my job when transitioning and I was forced into prostitution as a matter of life and death, if not I end up on the streets and don't eat. I thought I'd die forever as a prostitute, I was depressed, lonely and suicidal, thinking of detransitioning but I struggle and fought, worst it was street prostituting, not even on internet nor a decent brothel, not to mention the rivalry among other street hookers and physical fights where I almost killed myself fighting over territories.

Then one day out of nowhere I got a fabulous job where people would never imagine a transsexual can work, girls were jealous of me and believe me that time I was not really that passable but my high education was my weapon.

Sometimes life put very harsh path on our way, if you hate sex industry life one day will extricate you out of it but for now you need to bare the fire, we ALL pass through that. And you may do it now, save for your surgery for that whatever thing in your which makes you not passable. You fix it, then later you try to find a normal job. I also know girls who did sex industry just for surgery as it's the quickest mean, then went back to a normal job.

*TIGHT HUGS* you're not alone like this believe me...