Hello everyone. I've been lurking here since before I began my transition two years ago. I always find myself coming back here; it's a comfort when I'm feeling alone in my journey.
I'm currently homeless in northern California, and originally hail from a tiny Atlantic Canadian town I was glad to escape. My family is complicated but mostly supportive. Just the same, I dislike who I become when I'm around them - a withdrawn, bitter shell of a man- and chose returning to homelessness here over staying there.
I'm certain my story is hardly unique.
I'm a transguy, 31, and a decently-skilled artist. I suffer from some social anxiety, but I'm finding it's slowly getting better as my outside aligns more with the inside.
At the moment I've completely focused all my energy on my transition. I know in my heart that I'll settle into a good life/career once I can silence the dysphoria brain weasels. I'm allllmost done my legal name change - a huge milestone for me, given how much human interaction it took - and soon will be working towards top surgery. I've got a lot to hide up front as I used to weigh about 100 pounds more. I wear baggy hoodies most days. I have a binder but I find the constriction causes me more pain than boiling half to death in the California heat.
I'm planning to try to get on San Francisco healthcare, which would cover the surgery, I believe (correct me if I'm wrong). Failing that, I'm considering letting my green card go and returning to a western Canadian province that would cover it.
Despite all that's been going on, I feel pretty happy these days. Being free to be myself has brought me an inner peace I didn't know possible. I'm enjoying my life, even when it's just a walk in the park to look at birds, then returning to the shelter to sleep.
Thanks for reading
-greypeacock
