Seeing Signs or Making Signs?

[Aina]

Ok,

First off I am not a very religious person, I find it hard to pick a particular religion in general. There are parts of each religion I like and parts I do not. I would also be lying if I said I haven't tried praying in the past and present.

Recently I've been beating myself up inside, trying to decide about the state of my transgender(ism?). Back in august I attempted the praying to anyone who "might" be listening for a sign to move forward.

I wasn't sure I got it, but there was an odd amount of butterflies in during the august for Virginia, I didn't really think much of it. I took some advice from a transgender friend I know online and tried just to put the issue on the back burner for awhile.

Well recently I gave the praying thing another attempt again asking for some kind of sign.

Today, I notice three butterflies and it is now late October and today was oddly warm. Two living butterflies and one butterfly sticker in my Cracker Jack box. Now normally I don't believe much in signs and I guess I may be looking for them.

But it feels anytime I am really thinking about if I should move forward into coming out or continue on how I have been for the last 20+ years that these butterflies seem to pop up.

Now I know the symbolism of butterflies and their meaning in the Transgender society, maybe I am trying to tell myself something, or maybe I am getting the sign I wanted.

Anyway I am rambling, but I felt like sharing my recent oddity. 

[Jessica Merriman]

Baby, it sound like a sign to me and I think you know it is too. The sign to me says enjoy your life, your real beautiful life. BIG HUG! 

[Danielle Emmalee]

Maybe the fact that you want to take it as a sign is the biggest sign...

[Jessica Merriman]

<3 is right baby! The neon sign is most definitely ON! 

[Claire (formerly Magdalena)]

I agree with <3, the fact that you want it to be a sign is an excellent indicator. You don't have to go far, but take a step in that direction. You won't do anything irreversible. See a therapist or your GP. You'll know if you want to take the next and the next. Good luck, we're cheering for you. 

-maggie

[Sephirah]

Ok,

First off I am not a very religious person, I find it hard to pick a particular religion in general. There are parts of each religion I like and parts I do not. I would also be lying if I said I haven't tried praying in the past and present.

Recently I've been beating myself up inside, trying to decide about the state of my transgender(ism?). Back in august I attempted the praying to anyone who "might" be listening for a sign to move forward.

I wasn't sure I got it, but there was an odd amount of butterflies in during the august for Virginia, I didn't really think much of it. I took some advice from a transgender friend I know online and tried just to put the issue on the back burner for awhile.

Well recently I gave the praying thing another attempt again asking for some kind of sign.

Today, I notice three butterflies and it is now late October and today was oddly warm. Two living butterflies and one butterfly sticker in my Cracker Jack box. Now normally I don't believe much in signs and I guess I may be looking for them.

But it feels anytime I am really thinking about if I should move forward into coming out or continue on how I have been for the last 20+ years that these butterflies seem to pop up.

Now I know the symbolism of butterflies and their meaning in the Transgender society, maybe I am trying to tell myself something, or maybe I am getting the sign I wanted.

Anyway I am rambling, but I felt like sharing my recent oddity. 

I'd go with the emboldened part of your post. The subconscious is good at noticing things which highlight issues you're dealing with in the part of your mind closer to the surface. Things that the conscious mind wouldn't ordinarily pick up on. Reason being, imagery and symbolism is the language of the deeper part of your mind. The part where dreams come from, where meditation happens, and visualisation.

If something within that deeper part of yourself led you to take notice of something with strong symbolic ties to an issue you're struggling with, I would suggest paying attention to it. It may be trying to tell you something about yourself, in a subtle whisper.

[JoanneB]

I've wondered myself about this. Recently I've been hit up the side of the head again. For the third time now I've recieved the answer to my prayers on what to do. For the third time now I've gotten the same... uncomfortable answer. Like I really want to turn my life upside down! For what? Just to maybe be happy, feel better about myself?

[Jenny07]

You haven't been seeing this sign?
Enough said.

[robin s]

If your looking for signs odds are you already know the answer. Trust your heart.

[Robin Mack]

I've wondered myself about this. Recently I've been hit up the side of the head again. For the third time now I've recieved the answer to my prayers on what to do. For the third time now I've gotten the same... uncomfortable answer. Like I really want to turn my life upside down! For what? Just to maybe be happy, feel better about myself?

Where's the "Just" in being happy and feeling better about yourself?  The people who know and truly love you (as well as people you have *yet* to know) deserve to get to know the real *you*!  They want you to be happy and feel great about yourself.  It took me a long, long time to realize this... so, while I don't want to sound harsh or "preachy", I really do want to encourage you to explore the positive aspects of being true to yourself and showing the real you to the world.

It wasn't until I realized that my kids, my family, and my friends had a right to know the real me (and did NOT deserve to lose me due to my failure to confront the issue) that I was finally able to come out to myself. 

And yes, our eyes see thousands of things a day.  A scientific explanation of signs that change people's lives would no doubt be that it is a concrete way for the subconscious mind to speak to your conscious mind, by pointing out signs that show the way forward.  That in no way makes them less important than signs given to you by your higher power!  Either way, you are being given a message and a blessing. 

*hug*
*hug*

[Aina]

Thanks everyone for the insightful and kind words, I suppose we see what we want to see.

Now if I could just stop being scared all the time...I tired of being scared, so tired but I can't muster enough courage to stop...blah.

[Sephirah]

Thanks everyone for the insightful and kind words, I suppose we see what we want to see.

Now if I could just stop being scared all the time...I tired of being scared, so tired but I can't muster enough courage to stop...blah.

Courage isn't the same thing as fearlessness, Aina. Courage is about being afraid but not letting it stop you.

That you can do. You don't have to remove the fear, just not let it rule you.

One way is to focus on things that don't scare you quite as much, and see if you can do one of them. Prove to yourself repeatedly that you are capable of doing things you don't think you can do. Taking small steps to acclimatise yourself to the feeling, and the feelings associated with pushing through and achieving your goals. One thing per day, or per week if that's preferable.

One step at a time. One thing at a time. Building up confidence within yourself. Building up the inner-knowledge of how much strength you have inside yourself.

Walk up a few hills first before you tackle the proverbial Everest, to get a feel for climbing.

[Robin Mack]

Thanks everyone for the insightful and kind words, I suppose we see what we want to see.

That certainly is true, but sometimes, too, these things aren't things we want to see, but that our subconscious believes we *need* to see, to get us to where we want to be.

Or, maybe, it's God putting those signs there, or the Universe/whatever you name the Infinite.  Really, does it make much difference?  The sign is there, you understand it.  You are being communicated with.

Now if I could just stop being scared all the time...I tired of being scared, so tired but I can't muster enough courage to stop...blah.

... What the Wise and Wonderful Sephira said... I second it.  Courage isn't about not being scared, it's about being scared and continuing on your journey anyway, because you know you need to get to your destination.  *hug*

"...I have promises to keep, and miles to go before I sleep."  -Robert Frost

[KabitTarah]

You haven't been seeing this sign?
Enough said.

I wish my parents took me there...


..... or maybe they did!?!

[Lesley_Roberta]

Life is weird.

I KNOW everyone here will be incapable of understanding why my top 3 songs are Amazing Grace (has to be on b>-bleeped-<ipes though), Song of Joy (Miguel Rios) and My Sweet Lord (George Harrison).

But that's life eh.

I see signs is all sorts of places. I seem to benefit from a quite heavy dose of positive karma, and I really just don't understand it. Life has done me know favours, and yet, there are so many little things that go my way.

I can't seem to listen to music, and here messages know one else will hear, and I watch anime, and it almost seems tailored to my needs.

Signs are tricky things. You need to be ready to open up to possibilities you might not really want to, in order for some of it to be possible at all.

In all journeys, the first step is always the hardest.

[Anatta]

Now I know the symbolism of butterflies and their meaning in the Transgender society, maybe I am trying to tell myself something, or maybe I am getting the sign I wanted.

Anyway I am rambling, but I felt like sharing my recent oddity. 

Kia Ora Aina,

"The mind is the root from which all things grow !" If you take it to be a sign, then it's a sign and if you dismiss it, then it's not...The choice is up to you...

One of my favourite signs was "STAY OFF THE GRASS!" 

Metta Zenda

[Vicky]

Perhaps the answer to your prayer was not so much to get the sign but to SEE IT for what it may be in your life!!!