Another absolutely fascinating thread here, this one made up of at least two parts.
The first part concerns the nature of transition. While I (kinda, sorta, generally perhaps) understand what is typically meant by this last word among transgender folk, my dictionary defines transition as "to undergo a period or process of change from one state or condition to another."
This very broad description of the word seems to undo the notion of 'transition' that this 'Non-transitioning' board is based upon. For if I consider only my own trans journey to date, it is very certainly a period and process of change from one state to another. While I cannot yet accurately describe what these states exactly are, I do not believe this reflects any lack of legitimacy or existence on their part, but rather a culture-based inadequacy when it comes to understanding and speaking about gender.
Put another way, when I reflect upon the conventional notion of this word - transition - I realize I actually do not fall under the category of 'Non-transitioning'. While I may not be engaging medical services and/or procedures at this point - or ever - I am undergoing a rather intense and scary process of change. I suspect the same could be said of many in this part of the site.
Realizing this allows a measure of space and relaxation to enter my experience. And suddenly I see that the typical use of this word among trans folk (as please forgive my use of the word 'typical' in this post; I feel there must be a better way to express this but cannot tonight find it) has been a bit claustrophobic for me. Though I do not believe for a moment this is in any way personal, there is a certain amount of hierarchy and consequently oppression in terms like 'full transition', 'partial transition', and 'non transition'. Following from the considerations above, they at some tangible level deprive me of my journey, render it in some ways 'non' instead of affirming its inherent value, appropriateness, and legitimacy.
Which brings me to what is for me the second main point of Jamie's post: the four levels. If I can affirm that I am, in fact, transitioning (a powerful gesture in and of itself), it becomes an exercise in empowerment to reflect upon how my transition is unfolding through the mental, emotional, spiritual, and physical realms. It is a further embrace and proclamation of my process as a transgender person, as one who does not easily fit within mainstream notions of 'male' and 'female'.
On the mental level I am working, through engagements such as this, to develop a view of gender broad enough to accommodate the fullness of my experience - and, hopefully, of other beings as well. Emotionally I am trying to allow access to a wider range of feeling - including fear, anger, a so much regret - than ever before and, when appropriate, to share this feeling, share my experience with others. Spiritually I am trying to find acceptance - dare I call it peace?!? - with myself.
Physically is it fair to say my transition is somehow 'non' because it has not involved certain services and/or procedures? If so, what then can be said of the physical changes I have seen these last few years: longer hair, shaved body, better care of skin, shaped eyebrows, new wardrobe and the like? No, it seems more accurate to say, 'Yes I have physically transitioned. Not in the way some in this community have, but there certainly have changes to my physical being as I find ways to work with and express my being in this world.'
So maybe we need a new, more descriptive and affirming language around transitioning? One that encourages all trans people to recognize, embrace, and celebrate the process of change we have undergone. A process of change that, as Jamie points out, resonates through four levels of being for us.
