Clothing, accessories, and hairstyles

[insideontheoutside]

I thought it would be nice to start a thread like this since I've seen all 3 of these things mentioned as ways to:

1) deal with dysphoria and ...

2) take small steps to "transform" yourself and feel more confident/comfortable without transitioning (standard definition)

Whether it's more female, more male, somewhere in between/androgynous, we could use this thread to discuss, post photos, ask for advice/suggestions.

[Tanya W]

Goodness, I could write all day about this!

The first thing I'll say in this regard, however, is how up until recently I used clothing, etc very differently than I do right now. Instead of engaging these three as a means of working with my situation, I used them as a way to block, deny, and cover over what was going on for me. I had a uniform: tan pants, dark t-shirt (both too big), no accessories, and a shaved head. I dressed this way for years in order to not acknowledge/engage the truth of how I felt inside. In order to kill how I felt, actually.

These days, however, I wear women's pants and underwear because they fit a bit tighter, and are softer and more flexible to boot. They feel better! I have a wide range of shirts, sweaters, and vests - different cuts, colours, styles - which allow me to dress a bit more for mood, which is helpful. My shoes and jackets all have a vaguely androgynous feel, not as much as I'd like but this is a work in progress.

In terms of accessories, I have one word for everyone: SCARVES! Oh my goodness these make a massive difference in both how I feel and look. I love fall and winter! I also have a few androgynous bracelets and am working up to earrings.

My once shaved hair is now shoulder length, which gives me some options in terms of styling. Like with my clothing, its nice to have options so I can fold in mood. I do ponytails, braids, and buns most days. Have yet to go get the kind of haircut I'd like, so keep the hair up in these ways. I really like the bun!

Other things worth noting? I care for my skin more. Shave my face every day, sometimes twice. Give much more care to sideburns and neck hair. Shave my body. Trim and file my nails (working up to clear gloss one day!).

In terms of my wish list in these areas? Beyond what's been mentioned, I am hoping to move more femme as time rolls on. This is especially true of my shoes and shirts - not wholly happy here, so I'm watching women out in the world and trying to figure out where to go next. I am considering a tattoo - a rose - but hate needles, so... Oh, and new glasses - but these are $$$ so, I'll keep cruising the thrift stores.       

[insideontheoutside]

Scarves are great. I grew up in Southern California and lived there most of my life, so I never really experimented with fall/winter clothing/accessories until moving a bit north. I have a whole drawer full of scarves now and a whole row of boots

My personal style I'd have to say is androgynous-eclectic-alternative. How's that for a label? Really it's only been in the last 5 years that I've gotten okay with just expressing myself with these 3 things. The only other time in my life where I felt I did that was high school and about 5 years after graduation. Looking back on it, I see those years as the kind of "rebellion" years, where I would take a little bit of every "genre" going around (goth, metal, punk, new wave, etc.) and borrow some of their fashion/style, but it was a bit more head-turning back then (think purple hair). So I guess I've been eclectic for quite some time. There was an era though where I tried to put on the fake facade of someone who didn't have any gender issues. It was never very far into feminine territory mind you. Like I never put on makeup or wore skirts or dresses. But I was trying to buy female clothes and I had long hair for awhile or short "pixie" type hair. I wasn't wearing a binder or anything. It just wasn't me though and the more it continued, the more wrong it felt. So maybe about 5 years ago I started to loosen up and let the inner me out again. I'd spent so long just being "plain" that it took me a little bit to piece together and revise my old eclectic style for the more evolved me.

What really changed for me was a perspective thing. Instead of being angry about the bulk of society thinking I'm female, I embraced that as a free ticket to basically do whatever the heck I wanted as far as fashion goes. Because seriously, most people do not care now if a woman wears mens clothing. And even in men's fashion, more and more androgynous items are available (floral prints? yes! female cuts on things? yes! accessories? sure!). My other free ticket is that I've made a living off my creativity and people give artists, etc. a lot of leeway when it comes to appearances. Funny thing is though, I like to combine so-called traditional pieces (yes I do own suit jackets and ties and wool coats and sweater vests and a whole bunch of other pieces that fall into the traditional realm), but I'll combine them with something more alternative or creative. Somehow, it works for me. And unlike my early days of dressing more outlandish, my outfits now generally don't turn any heads or get any gawks, but they do allow me to just be myself and allow me to be comfortable with that self.

Here's a bad bathroom mirror shot of something I was wearing the other day ...

[DriftingCrow]

Insideontheoutside, you're looking good. I like your jacket:)

I used to have a hairstyle where half was a bob and the other half was really short. I had it cut professionally, so it didn't look like sh*t. I found a few old pictures of me with this style but LOL I look so young!  I was 18 at the time.

I like wearing jeans, with button-ups over a t-shirt.  I usually wear a necklace, my sterling silver feather dangling earnings (even though they're girlie), and a kara.  When I am in "girl mode" it's obviously girl clothes, but I still tend to wear similar things. I just really like button ups over other shirts for some reason. I tend to prefer short hair overall, since I think hair just feels kind of gross, but I am usually too lazy and unmotivated to go get it cut every few weeks or so, and I decided not to cut it anymore.

Here's me in male jeans. I think I still have girlie looking legs. I tend to prefer slightly longer shirts to cover up my hips some more, but there comes to a point where I'd look even more like a little kid who's wearing clothes that are too big.



Also, this is the best binding does for me. If it was like that all the time, I'd be wicked happy, but after a couple of minutes things move around and it just seems like a sports bra, so boobs are typically more noticeable. I can't jump into a bathroom or empty room ever 10-15 minutes to readjust.  So, I mainly just wear a sports bra while in "guy mode" since it's more comfortable and gives the same results anyways.

[Stochastic]

LearnedHand,

I like how there is roominess in the arms and the shirt is cut to give you a tapered torso. The straight cut jeans really hide the "girlie looking legs" which I do not see at all. In other words, you rock that look.


insideontheoutside,

You have a rockin outfit as well. The boots matched with the skinny jeans are killer. Note the nice touch with the scarf.


Tanya W.,

Now you did. I can't hold back on talking about scarves. There are subtle things that completes a look when I observe CIS women. Scarves are one of them. Scarves are one of many things that get me excited about being a woman. It also helps to hide male flaws such as an Adam's apple, a larger neck, or a sloping neck from trapezius muscles. You can find lots of videos and websites that show different styles.

My favorites are the ones that tie tight to the neck to hide my birth defects such as the braided tie.
http://www.thefashionspot.com/life/171363-15-chic-and-creative-ways-to-tie-scarves/

I also like the layered knot with a regular scarf and a slipknot with a circle scarf that has extra volume.
http://www.scarves.net/how-to-tie-a-scarf/neck-scarves/

[Tanya W]

Encouragement that it takes a bit more than my present timeline (two years) to refine one's look and a wonderful link to some scarf how-tos!?!? This thread made my day!

[insideontheoutside]

Thanks everyone so far!

I'm glad this thread is helping.

[Randi]

Long, well manicured nails.  Trimmed eyebrows. No body hair except for a demure "landing strip". Women's Puma Nike Shoes.  Tight stretchy T-shirts that say: "Yes, those are boobs.... so what?"  When weather allows, I wear shorts and display legs rarely seen on a man.

Randi

[Antagonist]

I'm in the process of finding my look. Oversized t-shirts hide curves but it looks sloppy, and I can't for the life of me find a pair of men's jeans that fit well. Other than that, I keep jewelry to a minimum and my nails short. My hair is very short and most of my wardrobe is casual jean/t-shirt/sneaker combos.
I avoid pink/purple(my favorite color is blue anyway) and all jewelry is men's or neutral.

You're very right in that I did start slowly with all of this and looking more masculine helps stave off dysphoria for me. Military-style fashion in particular interests me.