Choosing a name

[helen2010]

Recently I have had another name change.  Motivated between finding a name which is used rarely; not easily linked with my birth name but has meaning to me; and has  been used by both men and women has been a challenge and confusing to others on this forum. What have you done?  Have you found it best to change your name as you evolve and refine your sense of identity or stayed with your first choice?

[Catherine Sarah]

Hi Aisla,

When first confronted with this dilemma, I started at the bottom and moved up. OK do I just change my male name to it's female derivative. Humm NO thank you.  I don't want to be haunted by him. Next. What would a mum have called me. YIKES!!!!   Tracey??  NO WAY ( apologies to anyone called Tracey. Don't take it personally).

Next, open a list from A-Z of female names and meanings. Make a short list based on meanings. Try one a week and see how it sticks. Short list finally whittled own to 3 that I couldn't decide. Compromised by setting the order in which they now appear on my birth certificate. Very comfortable with all 3.

All this evolved over a 12 year period. The final minor change was changing the K to a C in Catherine.

Enjoy the fun.

Huggs
Catherine

[helen2010]

Catherine
Thank you for your sane and practical advice.  Sounds like it is much like selecting a new outfit... pick a name, try it on, move around a little and keep it on if it feels right and looks the part!  Should be a lot of fun and will probably reflect my journey rather than the names of the women I know.  Is an unusual name good or bad?
Be well
Aisla

[ativan]

Unusual can be just fine. I originally just used Ativan. It grew on me.
When I added Prescribed, it became like that pair of jeans that fits perfectly.
I think it will be just fine on my Passport at the customs station at each border crossing.
Just Google it to see all the others that have found it to work for them, too. 
Ativan

[helen2010]

Expecting to find 'Valkyrie or shield maiden to the Gods I was surprised to find from Google that you identify with an 'anxiety reducing drug'.  Your name certainly has meaning, captures a part of your essence, warns against introducing you to alcohol and is easier to pronounce than lorazepam so it passes all of the tests and is a brilliant choice.   Just curious as to whether it has been as helpful when travelling internationally as you had hoped!
Also wonder whether this was a derivative of a family name as Catherine recommended, relatively common in your home town or closely associated with your family and/ or a significant other.
Clearly, even though this was my 3rd attempt to find the name that was meant for me, Aisla may have been too common a choice and I really should have cast my net much wider.   With the creative minds on this forum I am sure that there were many names that I have not even thought of much less considered!
Working with this theme stilnox has possibilities and also attracts as an amusing pun, the possibilities are endless.
My learning is, when in doubt, ask the Universe and Susans will provide the answer.
Safe travels
Aisla
Ps you may find travelling with a range of herbal teas in unmarked packets sprayed in citronella will also aid your border transit and will certainly lead to more interesting conversations and unexpected adventure.

[Lordes]

I awoke on a Sunday morning with my wife lying next to me with her laptop on, well, her lap top.  She told me that I needed a new name and that she had settled on "Lordes."  Issue resolved.

[ativan]

Expecting to find 'Valkyrie or shield maiden to the Gods I was surprised to find from Google that you identify with an 'anxiety reducing drug'.  Your name certainly has meaning, captures a part of your essence, warns against introducing you to alcohol and is easier to pronounce than lorazepam so it passes all of the tests and is a brilliant choice.   Just curious as to whether it has been as helpful when travelling internationally as you had hoped!

Those who know me IRL as Ativan, like it. It is a little more thought provoking than usual peoples names, and much better than just using the words for objects like 'table', as an example. It is easier than the bastardization of simple names into spelling that hardly look like the original, yet are pronounced the same. That seems like an effort in futility, but I do like the creativity involved in them. When I first started an account here, I was asked for a name. Which induced a small amount of anxiety in itself. My eyes wandered immediately to my med bottle and I couldn't help but smile a little as I read Ativan. That little feeling that made me smile was all it took to know that Ativan was going to be my name. So really, if you find a name that can give you a feeling that deserves a little smile, I think it just might be a name to put on the list that you might choose from. 
Ativan Prescribed is used on some documents and I have never been questioned about it. But I suppose the slight smile I can't hide when I see the look on some peoples faces when they read it, answers the question before it is asked.
Ativan

[Pica Pica]

Am pretty happy with my birth name, as my having it makes it an androgyne one.

However, I write fiction and part of that seems to consist in collecting many names; from books, articles or grave stones. I then never use those names as the characters' 'correct' names always seem to appear from nowhere. I imagine your own name shall do that at some point.

(As for my screen name here, it was more a mission statement then a name but it's grown on me).

[UnlockingJack]

I'm pretty lucky in that my name sort of chose me. I first remember wishing my name was Jack when I was about six years old, and that's been with me my whole life with no change.

However, if I were put in a place now where I had to choose a new name, I would think of a meaning I liked and look for names that meant something similar. I'd like to have a name with a very personally important meaning. Jack is definitely my name, but it doesn't really mean much of anything, which is a little sad.

[Satinjoy]

I love this thread.  Ativan was used on my kids, I got it immediately, and frankly she has that effect on me.

I think you can guess where my name is from, though the idea is stolen from "satin rose intimates", owned by a lady named Susan.

The name choices are beautiful.  Love them.

[Umiko]

I went with umiko. Not used amonst americans so i went with it and the meaning fits me to a tee.

[VeronicaLynn]

I chose Veronica specifically because it couldn't be stopped mid-syllable and become a guy's name. I chose it when I was feeling a lot less androgynous, but anyway I still think if I chose a name like say, Stephanie, I might say the last syllable very softly, if asked my name, and become Stefan. Quite a lot, if not most, girl's names are like this.

[girlinguyjeans]

I chose Jennifer because... I dunno. It just called me. Choosing a name is like falling in love (if you're the type of person to fall in love), you see something (or someone in the case of love) that makes you feel warm inside and brings a smile to your lips. Then you just know, that's your name. It can take a long time to find the right name, just like it can take a long time to find the right SO, but when you find it it'll stick with you forever. I actually feel kinda clever now :p

[helen2010]

Ativan & girlguyjeans

I have just re read your postings so need to think further.  Aisla fits in terms of meaning, culture and androgyny but it feels like my head chose/manufactured the name when you both argue for the heart to drive this.  Perhaps I will stay with Aisla until my real name calls to me, my heart leaps and I smile at recognising my true self.

What power is there in a name?  I suspect it is massive and not to be rushed or forced.

Aisla

[girlinguyjeans]

Ativan & girlguyjeans

I have just re read your postings so need to think further.  Aisla fits in terms of meaning, culture and androgyny but it feels like my head chose/manufactured the name when you both argue for the heart to drive this.  Perhaps I will stay with Aisla until my real name calls to me, my heart leaps and I smile at recognising my true self.

What power is there in a name?  I suspect it is massive and not to be rushed or forced.

Aisla

That sounds good

[Julia-Madrid]

I chose Julia 20 years ago since it just seemed like the right name, but I never used it as I didn't start to transition until 2014.  Now I realise that my birth name is a wonderful non-gendered name and that its meanings are just so right for me - delicate, sensitive, voluptuous (well, not quite yet, but wait a while...)   

With the exception of a couple of not so relevant countries where it is definitely a boy's name, everywhere else in the world it has no gender.  So why bother with paperwork for two passports and three countries if I can keep it as-is

[Pickles]

I think the right name will just come to you.

I just chose a silly name to start with to use with my friends that knew, Pickles.

Later Hanna just came to me out of the blue which I like but being GQ I couldn't really use it so I compromised and chose and androgynous version of my birth name, Erin. I

[Kendall]

I am happy with my birth name, though my bros & sis call me by nick-names.

(My forum name has changed a few times)

[eli77]

I'm a little different, in that I never tried to choose my name based on falling in love with it.

I chose it because it fits my family, it fits me. It was my grandmother's name, though she went by Sally. It is a name from the Torah, like my sister's name. It can't be easily shifted to a nickname, which my mum doesn't like. My name makes me think of where I come from and the people that shaped me.

Not long after it became my name legally, I tattooed it on my lower back in Hebrew. I never, ever wanted to be able to consider changing it or going back or anything of the kind.

I don't love it. It's ordinary and a little dull. It's really kind of too girly for me. And a lot of people call me "Sar" (pronounced like the first syllable of Sarah) instead, much to my mother's dismay. But it's part of me, and it has history, like a name should.

[BunnyBee]

I hope I'm not intruding, but I chose mine because my mom once told me that was what I would have been named.  It is fitting because it feels more in line with becoming who I always have been, rather than a brand new person, which I have always said was the whole point of transition for me.  I would not have chosen it on my own though, it's really boring and common.