Hi

[Mal]

I'm so thankful to have found this site! It truly has been a life saver.

For as long as I can remember I've felt like I was born in the wrong body. Unfortunately, I was the "daughter" my parents had been waiting for to complete their family, and I come from a very conservative Christian family. When I was in my early teens I told my mom that I was born in the wrong body, but she refused to hear it saying that God doesn't make mistakes. So I spent the next fifteen or so years trying to live as my family wanted, but I've accepted that I'm a transman. I've come out to my therapist and an aunt who is supportive, but due to being a poor college student I live with my parents, and I have to be in stealth mode around them or I'd get kicked out. Thankfully, because of my build my parents are used to me having to wear men's shoes and shirts, so as long as I don't breach the subject with them again, I think I'm pretty safe continuing to transition. I'm hoping to transfer to a different college this summer, so hopefully I'll have resources to start T.

[justjournalhonestly]

Hi Mal, welcome and yes this site is a life saver!

The first person I came out to politely reminded me that "God makes us perfect in the womb."

To which I replied, "Absolutely, God made me perfectly too! As the girl I am, in the boy body I was needed to be in for a good portion of my life. So that I could accomplish things that God planned for my life."

She was briefly stunned and then said, "I never really thought of it that way." Now I do not think I have convinced her of this, but at least I did get her to pause. I think more people need to hear this and I was glad to have since read it in a good book about transitioning. So I know I am not the only person who see's God as capable of doing this for a reason we may not even notice for ourselves.

I have since looked back and can see examples of things I have done in my male body that have served a strong and powerful purpose to others in my life. These things would not have come about had I not been a girl in a boys body (as simply being a boy in a boys body would have fallen short for these things.)

Mal, I am absolutely certain you were born perfectly, just as God had intended, just like your mother says. However, God has also worked in mysterious ways, they all admit to this too. Which is why I get perplexed by those who use this argument, yet do not see us as perfect as they themselves must be as hetrosexuals.

[Jessica Merriman]

A big warm welcome to the family Mal! I am so glad you found us and joined. It has helped me a lot to be around people who understand me and support me. Now you will be able to give back with YOUR experiences. Feel free to rant, vent, share good news (we like that a lot), learn or just have some fun and meet the rest of the family. Here is a BIG HUG  to welcome you and make you feel right at home! Don't be shy, dig right in!

[Mal]

Thank you!

[Jamie D]

Welcome, Mal. 

Ah, yes, the "God doesn't make mistakes" reply.  Ask anyone who says that, these two things.  As many children are born blind, deaf, without limbs, with incurable conditions, if they are not mistakes, then why does that person consider your condition to be a mistake?  Then ask them, how do they know the mind of God?

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[Mal]

Jamie,

Thanks! I've had that conversation because I have several health problems, too. My mom's answer is that those things are physical conditions that make us stronger and everything LGBTIQ and mental conditions are from the devil used to weaken us. I should mention that my mom's a narcissist, so I know I'll never have her acceptance and everybody else follows her lead. I'm still figuring out exactly what my belief system is, but I'm confident that a God who commands people to love one another didn't add a clause of "as long as the people are hetrosexual".

[JenniferGreen]

Well said Mal. If religion has a role to play in our lives it is certainly not to spread intollerance and hate. I am a Buddhist and my faith is not perfect either. Thankfully men in frocks is quite the thing even if they all come in orange!

Jennifer

[gennee]

Hi Mal and welcome. God doesn't make mistakes, that's true. You are a transman. This is how God created you. Some day you will be able to live the authentic life that you desire.

[Mal]

Jennifer, thank you! I haven't found a perfect faith in my search, which is one of the reasons why I haven't fully embraced a religion yet. A professor I had pointed out that Buddhism was the only major religion that he had found didn't have any documented terrorists, which I found interesting. I wish all religions were that peaceful.

gennee, thank you! I know that being created this way has given me a passion to help other people, so I think as difficult as being transgender is at times, that God uses it to teach us compassion for others. I know I've found that true of the people I've talked to on here.

[AshleeLC]

I'm so thankful to have found this site! It truly has been a life saver.

For as long as I can remember I've felt like I was born in the wrong body. Unfortunately, I was the "daughter" my parents had been waiting for to complete their family, and I come from a very conservative Christian family. When I was in my early teens I told my mom that I was born in the wrong body, but she refused to hear it saying that God doesn't make mistakes. So I spent the next fifteen or so years trying to live as my family wanted, but I've accepted that I'm a transman. I've come out to my therapist and an aunt who is supportive, but due to being a poor college student I live with my parents, and I have to be in stealth mode around them or I'd get kicked out. Thankfully, because of my build my parents are used to me having to wear men's shoes and shirts, so as long as I don't breach the subject with them again, I think I'm pretty safe continuing to transition. I'm hoping to transfer to a different college this summer, so hopefully I'll have resources to start T.

Welcome to Susans, theyve been very helpful to me so far, and I think you will find the forums a safe haven