I told my brother yesterday and his family.. my thoughts

[carrie359]

Now I am out to everyone.  I wanted to post my thoughts now that its been done and reactions.
I assumed my sis and brother would know from childhood.. they did not.. I hid well.. my brother is 4 years younger and he caught me in dresses but barely recalled.
Over the course of my life I always wondered if he thought of it.. he never did.
Seems I did a good job, no one knew anything or even suspected it.
Anyway, my best friend from childhood, an alcoholic and smoker and in poor health can't wrap his head around it.. he looks at life as short now and thinks I should just be male and keep my beautiful wife.. I make tons of money and from the outside world I look to have everything you could want so why change.
I even ask myself that.. why can't I not transition.. but hell I am female and always been there is no denying that.
My sis who is gay is so happy I am myself now thinks I am a better more easy to be around person.
My son, would be pissed if I did not do the transition.. he is 29 with kids and loves the new me.
My best friends sis is gay and is accepting and thinks I should transition and be myself but is a little in shock.. she is like a sister to me.
My daughter said she did not want to move back to okc and expose her kids to me... 🙁  but on phone acts like she really loves and cares but I don't think she is capable of caring about anyone but herself..
My brother took it well yesterday and said it made sense because I never seemed settled in my life an he was right..
My sis's partner see's me as totally female... and my sis does too. My sis seems a bit jealous because of my face features and that I will be pretty dang good looking.. at least she and others say that.. I see the male sort of.. but thats changing.
My wife is dying inside and hates it and I have to move out soon although we love each other .
Thats about it.. my coming out has been met mostly with total respect.. can't believe I arrived here and get to be myself.
Its an adventure I never thought I would take.
Carrie

[mac1]

Now I am out to everyone.
..........................
My wife is dying inside and hates it and I have to move out soon although we love each other .
Thats about it.. my coming out has been met mostly with total respect.. can't believe I arrived here and get to be myself.
Its an adventure I never thought I would take.
Carrie

Is there any way that you and your wife can find mutual acceptance and continue your lives together?

[carrie359]

Mac1,
I wish.  The problem is she can't continue to watch me change every day..
We talk and we cry talk and cry.. its so hard.
For me I am losing the most important wonderful person in my life.. we never even argued and were perfect together for 31years.
I honestly can't believe I am willing to let her go to be myself. I am loving the HRT so much and my long hair and other aspects of finally being me.. like losing 60lbs and seeing my body change and get curves I always wanted and chest is developing and I love that..
Then there is her..my wife and she is as beautiful on the inside as outside.. she is amazing.. any guy would die to be with her.
We will work together forever or until she moves on completely one day after she meets someone special .
I wonder if its really worth it.. I even changed therapists and can't seem to find a way to stop.
For one thing I am as female as I can be on the inside.. there is no doubt..
UGH!!  I wish I could be a normal guy however.. my finger index ratio is not just average woman it 1.04 and I have the female carry handle thing which freaked me out when I found out about that..
My nose is cute and turns up and is fem. I have incredible cheeks.. and eyes and have always wished i could be a woman so if I stop I will never see the girl..Girls would say to me I wish I had your nose and eyes you would be a cute girl and that killed me.
Now I am 55 but and life is getting shorter so what to do.. hardest thing ever.
I am rambling.. I could go on forever.
Carrie

Is there any way that you and your wife can find mutual acceptance and continue your lives together?

[mac1]

Mac1,
I wish.  The problem is she can't continue to watch me change every day..
We talk and we cry talk and cry.. its so hard.
For me I am losing the most important wonderful person in my life.. we never even argued and were perfect together for 31years.
I honestly can't believe I am willing to let her go to be myself. I am loving the HRT so much and my long hair and other aspects of finally being me.. like losing 60lbs and seeing my body change and get curves I always wanted and chest is developing and I love that..
Then there is her..my wife and she is as beautiful on the inside as outside.. she is amazing.. any guy would die to be with her.
We will work together forever or until she moves on completely one day after she meets someone special .
I wonder if its really worth it.. I even changed therapists and can't seem to find a way to stop.
For one thing I am as female as I can be on the inside.. there is no doubt..
UGH!!  I wish I could be a normal guy however.. my finger index ratio is not just average woman it 1.04 and I have the female carry handle thing which freaked me out when I found out about that..
My nose is cute and turns up and is fem. I have incredible cheeks.. and eyes and have always wished i could be a woman so if I stop I will never see the girl..Girls would say to me I wish I had your nose and eyes you would be a cute girl and that killed me.
Now I am 55 but and life is getting shorter so what to do.. hardest thing ever.
I am rambling.. I could go on forever.
Carrie

I know the feelings. I have had those feelings off and on from as far back as i can remember (about 6 years old) and have not had any opportunity to openly express them. I am older than you and have been married much longer.  I love my wife and do not want to sacrifice that relationship. She is more rigid in her views than you present your wife to be. I would like to find a way to openly live those desires with her both privately and in public.

I am interested in hearing about any changes which you are able get from your wife.

[SilverGirl]

i'm sorry to hear about your daughter, i don't think it's fair she tell you that she doesn't want to "expose" you to her kids, like saying you are a freak and "showing" you to her kids would twist their minds or something, i would be very hurt if anyone said that to me, this is a great time to educate her children to respect other people's diversity, and teach them that people not always fit in little boxes, it might even make them more relaxed about gender roles, i think it's very disrespectful of her to say that, even if she doesn't really mean it like that

about your wife though, that is very hard, i wish i could give you some advice on how to deal with that, but it's hard and i don't really know what to say, *hugs*

i think she is mostly sad that she was "lied" about the real you and that the person she fell in love with was not the real you, or maybe even that she may have "caused" it, my suggestion would be to find some therapist to help you both