"Help" from friend in sorting out GID

[ErinWDK]

I have a friend suggesting a series of resources about being trans* to help me find my way forward (without any form of transition).  These resources include Focus on the Family, Walt Heyer, Parakaleo.co.uk, and so forth.  The bottom line being that any therapist, councilor, or Psychiatrist that can actually "help" me is one that is foursquare opposed to anything LGBTQ and will tell me to utterly deny that despondent woman within me wanting to have her place in the sun and suck up any problems that doing this may bring about.  This appears to be a hold over from years ago and is only a position of the outermsot band of the hard right in the Church.

As far as I can tell any professional that could help me and is part of the modern world is going to reject this approach as it will cause more harm.  The term for what is being suggested is "reparative therapy" and every major psycological professional society in the United States has issued a statement condemning this practice in stronger or strongest terms.  The Psychiatrist and therapist I am dealing with are part of modern professional societies that take this approach and thus are too "politically correct" for this friend's tastes.  I am REALLY torn here.  I have hit a hard point where I can no longer live with the "old" me and going forward to transition, even at the slowest pace, seems the only rational option.

Is there some recognised Evangelical leader that has come out and forthrightly denounced this old idea as not being part of Orthodox Christianity?

[King Malachite]

Well Pat Robertson recently mentioned how he doesn't assoiate transgenderism with being a sin if that helps.

[CaitlinH]

I don't know about any Evangelical leader, but anyone who is advocating reparative care doesn't have your best interests at heart. This is the same line of thinking that has caused gay teens to be sent to camps designed to turn them straight; they don't care about the person, only that you aren't offending their extremely limited view of human sexuality and gender. If your friend can't accept that you wish to transition and that you're going to go forward, then it may be time to sever that relationship. A true friend would want you to be happy no matter what it took to get there.

[ErinWDK]

Thanks for the help.  I have to conclude the friendship is no more.  This has dithered for a while, and the email yesterday with the information for "help" had the air of an ultimatum about it.  Well, it was.

An attempt later in the day to speak directly went rather badly.  I tried to pursue idle chatter to break the ice and...  oh, My!  I mentioned that the check I sent the State to renew my driver's license had cleared the bank and yesterday the photo card had showed up in the mail.  So I need to go get the new photo to finalize the process.  I was asked what I was going to go as.  Not even "who" but "what."  A little sarcasm goes a REALLY long way.

So, my tiny band of friends has gotten one smaller.

Reading the email message I knew there was not going to be any logical discussion, but this floored me.

All I can do is keep on going.


Erin

[ErinWDK]

One never knows what to expect...

I have had more communication with this same friend - and finally got an apology for Friday evening.  We for sure do not see eye to eye, but at least we can communicate that openly without resorting to sarcasm.

So, two steps backwards and one forward.

It is a better day!


Erin

[CaitlinH]

Really glad for you Erin!

[Vicky]

While not Evangelical christian authorities, retired Bishop John Shelby Spong, and retired Bishop Gene Robinson of the Episcopal Church have written rather strong position papers on LGBTQ being a full and welcome part of Christianity as a whole.  Google one or both for an interesting read that is non judgmental and very affirming of us. 

I might add that both are considered as total heretics by the fundamentalist segments of other churches, but maybe that is what it takes.

[AnneB]

Erin, your first post made me sad, I saw the ultimatum in it..  the second, more so.. as losing a friend always will, but a small smile, or at least, less sadness that your friend that was walking away, turned to look back, and saw that losing a friend isn't good..  I hope they stay!

[ErinWDK]

Erin, your first post made me sad, I saw the ultimatum in it..  the second, more so.. as losing a friend always will, but a small smile, or at least, less sadness that your friend that was walking away, turned to look back, and saw that losing a friend isn't good..  I hope they stay!

I am sure this friend will stay - but from time to time we will have strongly differing opinions.  Being able to have a civil conversation while deep in disagreement is a step forward.

I might add that both are considered as total heretics by the fundamentalist segments of other churches, but maybe that is what it takes.

Churches seem to have a really varied response to LGBTQ.  I had a long discussion with one of the pastors from my church yesterday afternoon.  He had not looked at the T part of the picture before, but he concluded that I seemed to be going the right way.  The leadership has done some soul searching on the LGB part of the picture and concluded that acceptance is needed there as well.  So, there is hope.  But some really "fundamentalist" ideas need to fade on out for us to really fit.


Erin