This goes way back to the days. After the first few years of school I was falling into the usual self confidace we all share at that age (transexuals). I had none at this piont. I was already depressed not fitting in and hadn`t learned to fight yet. I was in special classes for troubled kids that freak out over little things. I didn`t they just put me there because they didn`t know what to do with me.
My parenst talk to our Dr. ( The one who put me on those friggin amphetamines) about how I could get some self confidance. He sigjested, a boys therapy group with other troubled, bullied kids, ect. I hated it just as much as any all boy activities they ever tried to involve me in. The therapist did everthing he could to have fun activities we would all enjoy. He would take us places and had I been a young boy It might have been fun but I also wouldn`t need it. The usual was vidio games. We would get there, he would hand us all quarters and I would grab the quarters with my fingers and try to drop them in my hand in a sincranized repititous beat. Over and over again I would try to get it perfect like a song (That was my game.) Music was always on my mind , I would rather sing than talk at this piont of life. The therapist asked me," don`t you want to play any games ?" I said" No". He said, " don`t you like video games"? In a high girls voice I said, " no , it`s not what I like". He said with open eyes and totaly shocked at my response, " You don`t like video games?, You are the srangest little boy I have ever met. Then he started to go down the list of things I`m not inerested in and at the end he said" next week we`ll do something you want to do". "What do you want to do next week"? I said " bird watching"....They all turn and looked at me like I was crazy. " BIRD WATCHING? they all said over and over again. You`re wierd!I don`t know what we did that next week but I haven`t ever forgoten there responce because it seemed so fun to me. I love animals and wanted to be a vet. at that piont.
Life after that just kept going on the same down hill slope it had Angie
