The Totally New Even More Bad Jokes Thread

dalebert · November 03, 2015, 10:53:39 AM

dalebert · November 04, 2015, 09:13:56 AM

Catherine Sarah · November 04, 2015, 09:16:31 AM

What do you get when you cross a kangaroo with a sheep

Give up??

A woolly jumper.

Speak to you when I've got the kids to bed

Sarah82 · November 04, 2015, 04:26:29 PM

Quote from: Catherine Sarah on November 04, 2015, 09:16:31 AM
What do you get when you cross a kangaroo with a sheep

Give up??

A woolly jumper.

I prefer Jimmy Carr's punchline for that joke:
"A genetic abomination that is a travesty to both god and man!"

dalebert · November 05, 2015, 08:21:19 AM

dalebert · November 05, 2015, 03:31:04 PM

BeverlyAnn · November 08, 2015, 07:37:30 PM

This has been floating around on some e-mails but just in case you were lucky enough to miss it, your luck just ran out.

There were three kingdoms, each bordering on the same lake. For centuries, these kingdoms had fought over an island in the middle of that lake. One day, they decided to have it out, once and for all. The first kingdom was quite rich, and sent an army of 25 knights, each with three squires.
The night before the battle, the knights jousted and cavorted as their squires polished armor, cooked food, and sharpened weapons. The second kingdom was not so wealthy, and sent only 10 knights, each with 2 squires. The night before the battle, the knights cavorted and sharpened their weapons as the squires polished armor and prepared dinner. The third kingdom was very poor, and only sent one elderly knight with his sole squire. The night before the battle, the knight sharpened his weapon, while the squire, using a noose, slung a pot high over the fire to cook while he prepared the knight's armor.
The next day, the battle began. All the knights of the first two kingdoms had cavorted a bit too much (one should never cavort while sharpening weapons and jousting) and could not fight. The squire of the third kingdom could not rouse the elderly knight in time for combat. So, in the absence of the knights, the squires fought.
The battle raged well into the late hours, but when the dust finally settled, a solitary figure limped from the carnage. The lone squire from the third kingdom dragged himself away, beaten, bloodied, but victorious.
And it just goes to prove, the squire of the high pot and noose is equal to the sum of the squires of the other two sides.

dalebert · November 09, 2015, 08:59:20 AM

dalebert · November 09, 2015, 12:27:45 PM

Click the image for more bad psy-ants jokes!

🔗 [Link: sciencedump.com/content/punniest-science-jokes-your-week/]

dalebert · November 09, 2015, 06:32:27 PM

Catherine Sarah · November 10, 2015, 11:15:10 AM

As it's no longer politically correct to direct a joke at any racial or ethnic minority.

An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Welshman, a Ghurka, a Latvian, a Turk, an Aussie, two Kiwis, a German, an American, a South African, a Cypriot, an Egyptian, a Japanese, a Mexican, a Spaniard, a Russian, a Pole, a Lithuanian, a Swede, a Finn, an Israeli, a Dane, a Romanian, a Bulgarian, a Serb, a Swiss, a Greek, a Singaporean, an Italian, a Norwegian, a Libyan, a Muslim, a Hindu, a Buddhist and an Ethiopian went to a night club.

The bouncer said, "Sorry, I can't let you in without a Thai."

Speak to you as soon as I feed the fish