Nero (Forum Admin) has died

[Susan]

It's my sad duty to announce that Nero has died. As of this time we have no details on the cause of death. On behalf of all the members of this site I offer our sincere condolences to Nero's family. He was a pillar of our community and  During his time here he has helped to save dozens of lives. We will all miss him.

I want to thank Jamie D for spreading the word.

Sunday. 1:30 PM Pacific time

I talked to his mom within the past half hour.  She found him passed away in his bed this morning.  It may have been an overdose, I am not sure.  She was distraught. 

I don't know what to do.  When we last talked by phone, a couple of days ago, I could tell something was wrong.

With Nero's (FA) passing it is urgent that we fill the void left behind as soon as possible and so I have asked Cindy to step up and assume the helm of the forums. She has reluctantly accepted. It is important that we have someone who is able to handle the myriad of staff and administrative tasks these forums generate on a daily basis. Please offer her all possible support you can as she undertakes this daunting task.

[Ms Grace]

This is deeply sad.

Nero, you were a wonderful, caring and passionate guy, I will miss you very much.

Hugs and love to all.

[FTMDiaries]

So sorry to hear this news - it's a dreadful loss. Thanks for letting us know.

My sincere condolences to his loved ones, and especially to his mother. I'm a mother too, and I can't imagine a greater pain. My heart goes out to her.

Nero touched many of our lives and his contribution to our community is greatly appreciated.

R.I.P.  

[Sammy]

Oh my God...

Deepest condolences to his family and may Your soul rest in peace, Nero...

[Sephirah]

I have something here that I would like to post. It was written by Jamie D, and I said I would share it in the hopes others would do the same, in remembrance:

My friend, Nero

I lost a friend on Sunday.  His name was Nero.  His death was an accident and a tragedy.

We lose too many in our community.  What is particularly shocking to me is that he was one of the strong ones.  He seemed invincible.  He seemed like he had it under control.    But those of us in the community know that there are times when we each have been plunged into despair.  When that happened to me, he was there to offer a helping hand.  I was unable to do the same.

I can not tell you how painful this news is to me.  It is an emotional pain that strikes right to my core.  Nero was in pain too.  Physical pain.  But his spirit was troubled too.  You see, he cared about us.  He cared a lot, and when things weren't going well, he worried.  It wore on him.

Even if you did not know him well, you probably benefited from his guiding hand on this site.  This is a loss for all of us.

John Donne, the English cleric, wrote "Meditation XVII" in 1624.  In it he penned these lines:

No man is an island, entire of itself;
every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main.
If a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe is the less,
as well as if a promontory were,
as well as if a manor of thy friend's or of thine own were:
any man's death diminishes me,
because I am involved in mankind,
and therefore never send to know for whom the bells tolls;
it tolls for thee.

What Donne was saying is that we humans are all connected.  This is especially true in our community.  It does not matter if the person who dies is great or small, their death is everyone's loss.  Ringing the church bells to announce a death is really just a reminder of our own mortality.  To me, that means we should be kind and caring to one another while we are still here.

To give you a little insight into the character of Nero, I recall this little poem he wrote and had in his signature box:

"I never cared for dogs,
until one cared for me.
Now I care for every dog I see."

I was one of Nero's dogs.  He cared enough to let me leave the site when I could not deal with the strife any longer, and cared enough to try and bring me back.  He cared for you all too, more than you probably know.

Good bye, my friend.  I will never forget you.  I will never stop loving you, brother.

...

Thank you, Jamie. I cannot find the words to express how I feel right now. Maybe soon, but not now. Heartbroken is an understatement.

[Jess42]

My God. My heart goes out to his family and loved ones. May he rest in peace.

[Flan]

Because posts were lost since the last backup not all the replies were saved.

I am in shock.  I tried to call him yesterday.  I called back within the hour and talked with his mother.

She found him in his bed this morning, passed away.

I felt something was wrong when I last talked to him a couple of days ago.  And his emails the past few days were very brief and terse.

He was one of my two best friends on the site.  Words can not describe how I am feeling right now.

I just heard myself.

I don't even know what to say. It feels like a sledgehammer to the gut.

...

Wherever you are, Nero, rest in peace, my friend. I'll miss you so much.

I'm sorry to hear the bad news

Oh my god, what?

Seriously?

oh god. That's terrible. I know he was going through a lot.

I'll definitely miss him.

*still crying*  He was a good friend and a beautiful soul.

Wow, just wow this hurts    Rest in peace dear Nero

Words fail me...

WHAT?

I can't believe I'm reading this.....  I really don't know what to say and how to process this.  There is so much I want to say and much I wish I could have said before this.

Nero, I doubt you can read this, but if you can I'm really going to miss you.  Seriously.  And I'm sorry.

Dude...what the hell???!!

How did this happen?

Could someone PM me or something because I am totally blown away by this.

Was something going on with him that he kept hush-hush or what?

Nero and his family have our sincere condolences. We all share the pain of their loss. Nero was a pillar of our community and I can't even begin to estimate the number of lives that were saved through his contributions here.

If we can do anything to help you though your trying times please let us know.

I can't stop crying. Rest peacefully Nero, you awesome dude.

My dear friends.

This is terrible and shocking news.

We need to stand together today and hug each other.

If anyone at feels in anyway depressed and upset remember to seek help through the help lines

[Shantel]

I too am deeply grieved by Nero's passing. A few weeks ago he had pm'd me and asked me to call, I did and we talked for the better part of an hour during which time he told me that he used to be a beautiful woman once but that he was miserably distraught and lonely since the passing of his partner some time back. I could sense his inner anguish and pain and I told him that I loved him for his kind and loving concern for the membership here at Susan's and I thanked him for being so open about himself, especially in terms of how he was able to refer back to his former self and discuss things like socialization as a female, much of which is invaluable as a reference for all the members here regardless of gender. I had the feeling that he heard me with his ears but that his heart was elsewhere as we spoke. I will miss him deeply. Goodbye Nero, dear sweet soul!

[JulieBlair]

John Donne is one of my favorite of the romantic poets and it is right and fitting that he is quoted here.  Nero's passing is the second of us that I have known to leave this earth in the past week.  It is strange, my own mortality isn't a huge issue for me, but the death of those I've come to admire and cherish leaves me at a loss for words...  FA was not Jackie Gleason, but he still drove a bus of caring and of determination.  I shall cry for this community, his family and myself tonight.  Too many of us die way too young

Julie

[Sandy]

I am devastated.  I feel his loss deeply.

As with many others, he touched me during my darkest hours and made my burden lighter.

To think that his voice is now silent reduces the light of the world.

Goodbye my friend.  Me deepest condolences to his friends and family.

-Sandy

[YinYanga]

I had a wonderful day today, buying new make-up and trying my girly trenchcoat look...had a wonderful evening till I finally managed to log back in (You were on maintainance?) and listening to a -how fitting- song called "Just be thankful for what you got"

I remember Nero from when when I was a wee newbie to the site in 2007, such a special person to talk with. I took a long break after that..did he eventually transition, I knew he struggled

Yeah...my, we'll miss you

HugsnLove,
Vivien

[mrs izzy]

A loss is something we have come to see so many times in our great community.

Nero is now added to my list of lost brothers and sisters.

I am sad, angry.

Sad for the loss of someone so special and has helped so many.

Angry that this is still happening today with such great support available.

I still wonder why?

 

RIP my dear brother.

Isabell

[AnnaCannibal]

Goodbye Nero.  We love you! 

[Dani Davis]

I would like to extend my most heartfelt condolences to Nero's family and to all of you who knew him.  I did not have the pleasure or honor of making his acquaintance.  It would seem to definitely be my loss.

You are all in my thoughts this day.

Hugs.

Dani

[big kim]

Rest in peace,God bless you Nero

[Shana A]

Truly sad news! My deepest condolences to his family!

Nero and I go way back, long before either of us were Admins. We chatted a number of times when he was dealing with some hard times and needed to talk, after one such conversation, he started calling me "Mama Z", until I became Shana. He was always there for me when I needed support.

I will miss you, Dearest Nero!

Shana

[Carrie Liz]

I don't even know what to say.

Why must our community be so tortured with the pain of constant loss?

I'll miss you, FA, you taught me so much when I got into that one argument with you over childhood socialization. You taught me to quit torturing myself with "what ifs" because in reality growing up as a girl ain't all the sunshine and roses I was imagining it to be.

Thank you for always being a voice of wisdom and experience.

[Megan Joanne]

Just got word in email from Shantel about this. Took a moment for it to register, like I was stunned. I didn't really know him, just by what I've read of his words in posts once in a while, but that was enough that my heart still felt like it froze up at hearing this news. I got used to seeing his name just as I do everyone here, and now I won't anymore. Maybe his next life will be better, that's all I can do is wish him a good journey.

[Shana-chan]

I'm, in shock.. this can't be real.. FA is dead.. I didn't know him that well tbh but I am really saddened by this.. he was kind to me, though we didn't really speak much, but he was very kind, and, very understanding.. I can relate to what his family is going through and I feel for them. He was a very kind person and will truly be missed. A part of me wants to cry, if I could just press a button to release those tears, I'd do so right now..

Thank you FA for all you did for me and others, R.I.P. you deserve it.

[suzifrommd]

This is upsetting. I'm really going to miss him.