For me in the deep south I had to,
Write up my own name change petition get it notarized & make my own court order. I did it all pro se on my part cause I didn't want to pay a lawyer to do it.
Turned my petition into the county clerks office then I had to set up a court date to see a judge.
Went to court, got looked up and down then asked if I was doing this to defraud anyone. Judge signed my order without even reading it.
Got a letter from my HRT doctor stating I was female.
Went to the vital records office and gave them my court order which stated that my name and gender marker be changed on my birth certificate. They asked for a letter from my surgeon so I gave them my letter from my HRT doctor. They were cool with all of that after once again looking me up and down. Got my birth certificate 30 minutes later with my real name and female listed as my gender
Went to the social security office and showed them my court order and once again they just looked me up and down, asked if I was doing this to defraud anyone then signed some documents and two weeks later I had a brand new social security card with my real name on it.
Went to the DMV and showed them my court order. Once again I get looked up and down but I did have an AMAZING moment with the person doing my DL/ID when I gave her my old DL/ID. She remembered how sad I was 2 1/2 years ago and that memory stuck with her for two years! I'm glad she got to see how incredibly happy I am now
Now I am still in the process of changing all of my personal information with the bank and some credit cards. I didn't have any problems going to the bank or my auto insurance offices and showing them my court order. It was actually quite fun as I didn't give any details as to why I was changing my name and they kept thinking I got divorced and wanted to go back to my maiden name!
That was all I had to do to change my name & gender legally. In the end just coming up with the name change petition and court order were the hardest parts for me as I had to piece stuff together off of the internet but I did it myself which was something I was proud of.