I am a 26 year old ftm whose just starting down his path of becoming his true self. I always tried to denied who I was but no matter what I tried it always ended up coming back. There was never a period of time where I felt like a girl. I've been diagnosed with gender dysphoria since the age of 13. I'm currently seeing a therapist and would like to start hormones as soon as possible.
The first time of me knowing I was different was when I was growing up. I shunned girl things and preferred boy things and the ruff n tumble way of doing things. I was raised by a single mother. When I came out to my cousins and relatives I lost all of them as any sort of contact. Well they never paid much attention to me anyways so how can I honestly lose something that I never really had in the first place?
I don't blame my mom for what happened to me. Instead, I know that its what happened in utero so no one can be blamed for it other than your hormones. My user name was chosen because it holds a special meaning to me. If there is one thing that I am proud of its the fact that I don't have wide hips and my voice plus appearance makes me appear more androgynous.
My first encounter with the in patient psychiatric system was when I was 14 years old. My mom was struggling with me for my anger issues and had no idea what to do. Her solution was to tell me that I was seeing someone but instead she was taking me so that the facility could go ahead and admit me.