Kinda came out to my dad yesterday.

[TheDane]

Conversation translated from Danish because I suffer from bilingualism.

We were just talk in the car, when he just out of nowhere went – I got a question, please answer me honestly. (When my dad gets serious like that you know things are about to get awkward, he just isn't a serious dude.)

Me – okaay
Him – If you had a choice would you have been born a boy or a girl?
Me – Boy. (Tiny voice, with the facial-expression of a deer about to be run over by a monster-truck)
Him – I thought so, you kind of seem trapped in the wrong body.

I didn't know what to say,so I just kept quiet for a while, and then he just went back to the previous topic. And the day just proceeded like normal, the topic was never revisited. 

Now I don't know how to interpret any of this. Normally he is the kind to tell you exactly what he is thinking, but this time he didn't really give me any hint at anything.

[Athena]

I would suspect that he was giving you a safe opening to come out to him.

[TheDane]

Oh.... that kinda makes sense, but it also kind of doesn't.
It's hard to explain, but this entire thing was just so very unlike him. From the seriousness with which he asked, to the choice of words, the fact he asked instead of just conclude and announce.
(I have never actually told my dad I like girls, but somehow it gets announced at every family event,  to my vast embarrassment. )

Also there is one of said family events coming up next week,and knowing my dad, he is gonna end up saying something about it, and knowing my dad's family they are gonna find it hilariously stupid. Pretty much I'm gonna be the laughing-stock of my very vast family, all because I didn't think before answering.

Sorry about ranting.

[Catherine Sarah]

Hi TheDane,

Good lead your father has thrown you. Don't worry about things that may or may not happen regarding the rest of your family.

Use this opportunity to ask your father what he actually meant from his comment. Remember "he who asks the questions, controls the conversation." Don't take anything for granted and see where the conversation goes. Being honest and true to yourself will always be rewarded.

Huggs
Catherine

[AnneB]

hmmm, I seem to be following Catherine in a couple threads here  =)

Dane..  I agree completely, your dad threw out the opening pitch, it's you turn, to either swing, or wait for another good one, which, well, there might not be..

Honestly, if you have a good relationship with your dad..  I would go talk to him,
"Dad, the question you asked the other day.. in the car.. about who I would rather be? 
Can we talk about it?  Can you help me?  Would you help me?

I think he will see you're hurting, and no parent ever wants to see their child hurting.

[TheDane]

I really don't think I'm ready for that conversation yet.
I also don't want him to see that I'm hurting. I'm most likely leaving my home-town soon, and I don't wannna leave my parents with any worries about me.
I think I'm gonna wait a long while, see what happens.

But all three of you, thank you so very much for the advice, it gave me a good think.

[Athena]

I'd think they would worry more if they knew you were hurting and were trying to hide it from them. Another way that you might give your father a bit of a clue is if you ask him for advice on living on your own.

Besides if he asked you what gender you would have preferred to be then perhaps he knows you better then you think. Do you really think you will be able to hide your pain?

[TheDane]

I don't know, but I would rather try. It isn't something he can do anything about so there is no reason to make him miserable for no reason. He is finally happy himself, there is no reason to moonwalk in ->-bleeped-<--shoes all over his happiness.

[Lostkitten]

My opinionnnn.. he gave an opening because he cares, because maybe he worries already and by showing him you are willing to also share your feelings with him things might really change for the both of you. Either way he doesn't seemed to be bothered by it in a single bit and well, he mentions it himself? That is perfect!

Around me everyone always thought something was wrong with me but many thought it probably was that I had to be gay. I remember out of the blue when I was alone with my father he told me that no matter wither I would be gay, or anything else. He would accept me for who I am. I just laughed it off and felt awkward about it.

Years after I told him about my feelings but he was already somewhat prepared for it and already told me he would accept me no matter what, and he does. I think it is really good that your father started about it like that and also, so casually.