Today, I had a wonderful day hanging out with a nonbinary and a trans-"chica." I felt so comfortable to
be myself. I slowly over time started to say my prefered name to them. Which I have never did before.
I noticed more and more that something was building up. I couldn't tell if it was my dysphoria or my
my happiness.
.....It was my lunch.
It was "Gayme Night." I was having fun until they passed around the sign in sheet....
I began by making the pen play "chicken" with the paper because I couldn't choose a name to write.
I wanted to put Shane...but I didn't know if they needed my bio name or the name i gave them "Frankie"
(my neutral name)
I ran out and had a panic attack, which was a first for me. I never gotten so anxious and dysphoric to the
point that, I broke down and cried.
I had an "okay" closure with my mentor (who was nonbinary and that made me happy)
We talked about pronouns and stuff.
But.....I'm really scared for myself....I didn't wanna get to the point where I get anxiety attacks.
I'm actually not used to be dysphoric on an "emotional" level because I never .... felt(?) like it would be the
death of me, if I weren't to change....now, I'm connecting with the person I want to be, and I'm scared that
the worse will arise, and I can't transition.
