Oh Adrian, this is hard.
But it's not insurmountable by any means, and from what you imply, your husband is trying to support you through this, even if he's not sure where it might lead. These are all massively positive things, and as long as you keep talking and trying to understand each other's view, there is hope, lots of it.
It's very challenging to have this dilemma, but it's absolutely definitely not a lose-lose situation. Firstly, you have to be kind to yourself, and if your soul is calling out to transition, listen to it. I know exactly what you mean about the house and furniture, but there is a time when you need to start a new journey, and those things are just ballast. Try to put those emotions into a box for a later time.
I have three ex-boyfriends from when I was trying to fit into the gay world, and they all remain dear friends. Last night M came round and brought flowers. What I'm trying to say is that if things are handled sensitively, important relationships are preserved.
Stay calm and keep being Adrian.
A hug, and another.
Julia
