A different kind of "closet".

[insideontheoutside]

Anyone else who's chosen not to transition for whatever reason, or anyone who's leaning toward just being gender variant, ever feel like they're "in the closet"?

I seem to be going through a phase where I've felt a bit angry about people treating me certain ways based on either appearances or society's view on what should be female and what should be male. But I still feel like "coming out" to the larger world is more trouble than what it's worth.

[Thatoneguyyouknow]

I agree. I've gotten to the point I wanted to tell my gf to not bother correcting people about what pronouns they use with me. I feel there's no point in her going out her way cause they still treat me likea female regardless since I cant really do anything to pass. When I visited her family it was just plain awkard and they treated me like crap. I just feel that people that dont understand what it means to be trans to call me whatever. I dont correct them anymore. Especially since my parents still call me "she" . After decideding I cant go on T due to health problems, I decided I will not be comming out to my family. I see no point in trying to and have them blow it out of proportion and risk them disowning me. I rather just keep it in "the closet" and let them continue to be happy and proud of me, cause yes it does seem more trouble then its worth .

[insideontheoutside]

I agree. I've gotten to the point I wanted to tell my gf to not bother correcting people about what pronouns they use with me. I feel there's no point in her going out her way cause they still treat me likea female regardless since I cant really do anything to pass. When I visited her family it was just plain awkard and they treated me like crap. I just feel that people that dont understand what it means to be trans to call me whatever. I dont correct them anymore. Especially since my parents still call me "she" . After decideding I cant go on T due to health problems, I decided I will not be comming out to my family. I see no point in trying to and have them blow it out of proportion and risk them disowning me. I rather just keep it in "the closet" and let them continue to be happy and proud of me, cause yes it does seem more trouble then its worth .

My parents, even though they obviously know I've been like I am my whole life (not feminine in any way), are two people that I've never said outright, "Hey guess what, your kid is trans!". And they're old now so it's like, why bother? It definitely is more trouble that it's worth on the family front for me too.

Have you been doing anything specific to, for lack of a better way to put this, feel better about it all? It's easy to feel frustrated, angry, etc. so I'm always curious how other people deal with that.

[teema]

When I realised that I was androgyne a few years back,i did think"should I tell people?"But then I decided why bother,i`m just going to go on living my life like I did before,so its not an issue.It still isn't for me despite some subtle changes in my appearance.I think my family and friends think I`m probably gay,if thats what they think,so what.If they ask I`ll be happy to tell them my story,but until that happens,i`ll keep my mouth shut!I should add that I`m unmarried so I have no one really close who demands/deserves an explanation for any changes in me.

[LoriLorenz]

There's so much wacked out stuff happening in my family right now that I don't think me coming out of the closet would be taken easily. I come from a Catholic back-ground, so that would just be holy hellballz batman. I don't think it would be helpful to me either, since I'm stressed out enough by the little stupidity they throw my way already. Getting stressed over them trying to convince me I'm NOT trans (or whatever) now that would be too much.