When it comes to guys hitting on me I'm a bit of a b@#$%…!

[Ms Grace]

I'm not interested in guys, but it seems a few of them are interested in me. If I was in a bar or night club I guess I might expect to be hit on, that's what guys do there (other than drink)...but in the middle of a shopping mall? Going up the escalator today this guy behind me said, "Excuse me, can I ask where you come from?"...I turned, smiled a teensy weensy bit and said "No, you can't" and just kept going. He was a decent looking guy, but what kind of question is that, besides I was 100% not interested. He probably thought I was a stuck up cow but really, I don't need or want guys hitting on me. At least I kind of smiled... a little.

Mind you, a young guy working in a Pizzeria waved at me through the window as I walked past a few weeks ago. I did smile and gave him a little wave back, so y'know, I'm not totally a b@#$%!

How do you handle guys approaching and hitting on  you in public?

[stephaniec]

I've been looked at quite  a bit , but no one outside of a bar has tried  to hit on me , well maybe only slightly, but I'm bi so it doesn't bother me.

[Kylie]

I'm not out so I've only had that happen once on a Halloween where I dressed up, but I was flattered.  I guess it could get old, but knowing how hard that can be for some guys, unless they were ignorant, I would take the compliment and spare their feelings as much as possible.  Why make them feel bad for trying.  If they aren't polite, then I would say f-em

[JustASeq]

Yeah, this is frustrating for me too. If I am just out doing my thing, I'm not really in the mood to be hit on. I laughed a lot when I saw your response, since it sounds just like me!

[TSJasmine]

Omg you're so mean hahaha I usually stay really quiet & just giggle cause I'm scared to talk :p If I really wanted to talk to them I might say something but my voice usually gives me away

[MT22TG]

Luckily haven't had that happen yet but when i do i'll let you know my reaction    mostly what has happened is getting oogled over. I have had the door held open a few times for me an one day at the store an older gentleman came around a corner and bumped into my cart on accident and said Oh im really really sorry miss straightened my cart smiled and then tipped his cowboy hat to me.. pretty sure i went pink. What i get a kick out of is letting my evil streak coming through and letting girls hit on me while im in guy mode because all i can think is you're hitting on a girl! and then i try not to start laughing hysterically at them

[immortal gypsy]

Smiled nodded and looked for the quickest way run and hide politely of course. can handle the wave, I can handle behind the glass and can handle a horn or whistle. Just please don't talk to me

[Ms Grace]

...knowing how hard that can be for some guys, unless they were ignorant, I would take the compliment and spare their feelings as much as possible...

I kind of agree but given he was ballsy enough to approach a total stranger and hit on them in an space not normally dedicated to making passes I can't imagine he's going to get too hung up about rejection... this guy looked like he could handle it.

[PinkCloud]

I like guys, so I enjoy it most of the time. It's also a kind of confirmation on passing, being a female and seen as such. So I take every compliment I can get, since they are scarce for being trans in the first place. So far, I am being catcalled at least 3 times a week. In the summer it's more, and especially when I show some leg, and oh boy, do I have some leg to show for! 

Talking to someone in an elevator is creepy enough for me to whisk someone away. Sorry, but that is against my social etiquette I guess.It almost seems a kind of harassment...  One time a guy came running at me: Miss! please hold the door! Which I did. Then he started asking me if I was working here at the hospital, to which I said: No. And that was it, I got out. He probably wanted to talk to me and stuff. But to me it's not the right place. I do like the attention though, keep it coming, I like it.

I noticed also I am treated differently. Guys now stop their cars if they see I want to cross the road. Back when I was in "male mode" that never happened. I still have to get used to that. 

[Teela Renee]

I usually talk to them pleasantly, and just let them know I hate lesbians, but if I got nothing better to do sometimes I indulge their desire for Teinvok.

[Ms Grace]

...and just let them know I hate lesbians...

Why would you say that?? And why would you say it on this forum of all places?

Teinvok

I have no idea what that is.

[Cindy]

I think we should rename the thread as 'The most inventive hit on's a guy has made to you!'

Since I like guys I like being hit on, not in a crude or creepy way but I have no issues with chatting on an escalator, elevator (lift), anywhere in fact (recalling being stopped by a traffic cop who asked for a date ). If a guy is interested in a girl someone has to have the balls to start the conversation and see if you are interested.

He should know when to stop when told but 'hey enjoy it'

[Ms Grace]

If they're not creepy I do take it as a compliment. This guy wasn't creepy and to be honest if I was into guys I might have at least flirted with him. But I wouldn't want to lead him on. Some guys, especially the assertive ones, take even the slightest sign of encouragement as green lights all the way to the prize (and all we know what that "prize" is).

[Wild Flower]

One time I walk down the street (long time ago) and was yelled at for being a ginger.

My hair is naturally brown... but it rock being a ginger for 2 weeks. It felt powerful.

I would do it again but not now.

[Julia-Madrid]

I'm a friendly little soul, and since my features are quite obviously foreign here in Spain, I tend to engage when the opening line is not overtly a pick-up.

So far, the pick-ups have not really been from the kind of guys I'd want to encourage.  Since people don't realise I'm trans, I try to just be a polite girl, although I will get blunter if a guy is too persistent. 

I find that it's useful to have a couple of pre-made strategies to pull out, and to make them plausible.  So, if a guy is insistent, I'll tell him that I'm recently divorced (true enough) and not ready for a relationship.  And if they take a roundabout route and ask if I'm living with someone, I'll tell them that I live with some girlfriends since my divorce.

Frankly, if I can, I try to end with a smile and some kind of recognition that, while the guy is not for me, it was sweet of him to try.  That way I don't feel like a cow, and I don't leave another person feeling bad.

[Rainbow Dash]

Elsewhere I posted my experience with one man who was downright creepy. I gave guys a try. With a member here in fact. But I'll never do it again. I might feel a sense of security when guys hug me but I will sooner slit my throat than be with one again. Ever.

From what I have experienced, guys just want a girl to be a f#$%toy. I'm not hating on men but this has been my experience. It ALWAYS comes down to sex.

[DanielleA]

In most cases when I am so not in the mood I might  just answer him bluntly and go back to what I was doing. This tells him that I am not interested. Or treat what he said like he wasn't hitting on me and talk seriously. 

[PinkCloud]

unfortunately I've been on the receiving end of a multi handed lady octopus when I hung out with a les crowd. she'd grope anyone in a skirt. in hindsight I should have not sat next to her on the lounge sofa.

I was flattered but it wasn't my thing to be groped by anyone least of all someone I wasn't really attracted to...
so yeah. there are creepy women too.

LOL! probably the funniest thing I read today.  and true... a lesbian couple, ex-friends of mine, where sexbeasts... incredible... I lived with them as roommates in one house at one time. The only thing they cared about was sex.

[Heather]

If a guy is just talking with me that's ok. It's the ones who are drunk and want to put their hands all over me are the ones that are the problem. 

[Eva Marie]

I was on the receiving end of a major pick up attempt on the street. My female BFF and I had just left a restaurant in North Hollywood and were walking down the sidewalk when this guy walked past us, turned, saw me, and then it all started.

I was both amused (having been in his shoes before nervously talking to women) and a little surprised (Hey, there is someone hitting on me!!). He was a good looking guy but i'm just not into guys. He was extremely persistent but I just kept being pleasant and tried to gently discourage him. He finally got the hint and left us alone.

Meanwhile, my BFF (shes from Latin America with dark hair and eyes and big breasts - why is that dude hitting on ME instead of HER?!?!) stood quietly on the side trying not to laugh; she was hugely amused at watching me dealing with my first pick up attempt