Double Standards.

[XiaoMei]

Before I continue with this thread, I want to say that even though I am MtF, the experiences I have had may have enhanced my feelings for wanting to become MtF but I do not believe it is the reason.

I have been abused really badly since I was a child, emotionally, physically, mentally and psychological abuse by my father for many years (we got a restraining order against him when I was 13, I'm 21 now).

There is many things about my father I do not remember, things my Mother and sister both remember being done to me. I recently remembered something 2 years ago that happened to me that made me have a break down.

The point is, I believe I have a lot of suppressed memories, because my biggest fear/phobia is being raped by a woman. It may sound silly but I'm terrified of that ever happening. I'm so offended by people saying that it's okay for older women to have sex with children, or that it doesn't harm the boy at all that it makes me furious. I would feel used, betrayed, angry. Just the simple thought knowing that she'd barely be punished and depending on the law of the country, I could even be punished instead of her.

It's something I haven't thought about since I was a teenager, because this thought destroys my heart, and my willpower to live.

I am no way saying that becoming a woman is better - in fact I am terrified that I could be raped by a man in the future. I am in no way trying to escape rape by changing my gender, so please don't give me that lecture like my mother did.

What is your opinions? Do you really believe that all "boys" or "men" want sex so much to the point that it's okay for a woman to have sex with you if you're just a child..?

I guess my biggest fear is knowing that if something did happen to me, that even if I spoke up about it, no one would listen because of double standards.
I don't want to find out, because if my fears are correct I know I will undoubtfully take my own life.


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[kast]

This double standard really infuriates and disgusts me too. Many people laugh at the idea of a man being raped - it's sickening. If someone is not consenting, then it's rape regardless of the genders or ages involved. Even if an underaged male "wants" it from an adult, he doesn't have the emotional maturity nor the legal standing to actually consent, and the adult should know better.

[Trillium]

I can imagine that for a man being raped by a woman, it might bring on a heavier set of emotional conflicts. It's common enough that a in a typical raped by a man situation the victim will put some blame on themselves, but I would think that for a man who's been forcefully aroused and raped by a woman the amount of confusion from emotional conflict must be gag wrenching.

It's not the same but I was quite recently manipulated by a guy into giving sex, in retrospect I'm certain he knew what he was doing and I really didn't feel in control of my will but all I had to fall on was that I clearly stated several times I wasn't interested in doing anything sexual. I was so torn up by it afterwards and I felt like such a fool I didn't want to talk about it at first, if I wasn't staying at my best friends at the time I probably would have kept it to myself and I would still be so emotionally conflicted thinking about it.

[awilliams1701]

Rape is rape, but I suspect men are more likely to consent to sexual contact to a random women intent on rape. Not all men want sex all the time, but many do and many can't control it and in that respect it really isn't rape. However the second one of them says no, its rape.

Before I continue with this thread, I want to say that even though I am MtF, the experiences I have had may have enhanced my feelings for wanting to become MtF but I do not believe it is the reason.

I have been abused really badly since I was a child, emotionally, physically, mentally and psychological abuse by my father for many years (we got a restraining order against him when I was 13, I'm 21 now).

There is many things about my father I do not remember, things my Mother and sister both remember being done to me. I recently remembered something 2 years ago that happened to me that made me have a break down.

The point is, I believe I have a lot of suppressed memories, because my biggest fear/phobia is being raped by a woman. It may sound silly but I'm terrified of that ever happening. I'm so offended by people saying that it's okay for older women to have sex with children, or that it doesn't harm the boy at all that it makes me furious. I would feel used, betrayed, angry. Just the simple thought knowing that she'd barely be punished and depending on the law of the country, I could even be punished instead of her.

It's something I haven't thought about since I was a teenager, because this thought destroys my heart, and my willpower to live.

I am no way saying that becoming a woman is better - in fact I am terrified that I could be raped by a man in the future. I am in no way trying to escape rape by changing my gender, so please don't give me that lecture like my mother did.

What is your opinions? Do you really believe that all "boys" or "men" want sex so much to the point that it's okay for a woman to have sex with you if you're just a child..?

I guess my biggest fear is knowing that if something did happen to me, that even if I spoke up about it, no one would listen because of double standards.
I don't want to find out, because if my fears are correct I know I will undoubtfully take my own life.


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[Eevee]

You aren't alone in this. I've been raped (and very much abused) by a woman, too. It is far more likely for a man to rape (statistic show this), but that doesn't mean anyone else is incapable of rape. Don't let anyone discredit your feelings about this, because it is just as serious no matter who did it.

[awilliams1701]

Even if individuals with the intention of going out and finding someone to rape were split 50/50 along gender lines, I think a lot of men would just say sure go right ahead and so it wouldn't actually be rape. Statistics say men are more likely to want sex with a random stranger then women.

You aren't alone in this. I've been raped (and very much abused) by a woman, too. It is far more likely for a man to rape (statistic show this), but that doesn't mean anyone else is incapable of rape. Don't let anyone discredit your feelings about this, because it is just as serious no matter who did it.

[Eevee]

Even if individuals with the intention of going out and finding someone to rape were split 50/50 along gender lines, I think a lot of men would just say sure go right ahead and so it wouldn't actually be rape. Statistics say men are more likely to want sex with a random stranger then women.

This is also true. I'm just saying that rape can still happen either way. Everyone acts as if rape by women never happens since it's so uncommon, but it does. You just don't hear about it every day, so when it's brought up, people just roll their eyes at it. I got no answer to it when I was abused and raped, but it could have ended in a prison sentence if it had been a man who did it.

[gennee]

I can imagine that for a man being raped by a woman, it might bring on a heavier set of emotional conflicts. It's common enough that a in a typical raped by a man situation the victim will put some blame on themselves, but I would think that for a man who's been forcefully aroused and raped by a woman the amount of confusion from emotional conflict must be gag wrenching.

It's not the same but I was quite recently manipulated by a guy into giving sex, in retrospect I'm certain he knew what he was doing and I really didn't feel in control of my will but all I had to fall on was that I clearly stated several times I wasn't interested in doing anything sexual. I was so torn up by it afterwards and I felt like such a fool I didn't want to talk about it at first, if I wasn't staying at my best friends at the time I probably would have kept it to myself and I would still be so emotionally conflicted thinking about it.

Rape happens quite a bit in prisons. You don't hear about it but it does happen.

[suzifrommd]

It can be very damaging for a child (of either sex) to be manipulated or forced into sex by an adult. That's why it's a crime independent of the sex of the victim.

That being said, speaking for myself (as someone who has experienced both sets of genitalia), I think being the recipient of penetrative sex during an assault would be far more traumatic.

[awilliams1701]

You don't hear about it? I hear about it all the time. Generally its used in jokes. "Oh you're going to prison? I hope you enjoy it in the rear." types of comments.

Rape happens quite a bit in prisons. You don't hear about it but it does happen.

[Trillium]

What is redRape?

[XiaoMei]

It can be very damaging for a child (of either sex) to be manipulated or forced into sex by an adult. That's why it's a crime independent of the sex of the victim.

That being said, speaking for myself (as someone who has experienced both sets of genitalia), I think being the recipient of penetrative sex during an assault would be far more traumatic.

I agree with you, but rape is bad irregardless and because of this, most women don't even go to prison, or if they do it's a light sentence. Men have to go to prison for years, and that includes them being with boys and girls.

What if a woman molests a young boy? I'm getting really depressed just thinking about this.... I just hope I was not molested or raped. I have no memory of any, but I know I'd kill myself on the spot.


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[Jean24]

Before I continue with this thread, I want to say that even though I am MtF, the experiences I have had may have enhanced my feelings for wanting to become MtF but I do not believe it is the reason.

I have been abused really badly since I was a child, emotionally, physically, mentally and psychological abuse by my father for many years (we got a restraining order against him when I was 13, I'm 21 now).

There is many things about my father I do not remember, things my Mother and sister both remember being done to me. I recently remembered something 2 years ago that happened to me that made me have a break down.

The point is, I believe I have a lot of suppressed memories, because my biggest fear/phobia is being raped by a woman. It may sound silly but I'm terrified of that ever happening. I'm so offended by people saying that it's okay for older women to have sex with children, or that it doesn't harm the boy at all that it makes me furious. I would feel used, betrayed, angry. Just the simple thought knowing that she'd barely be punished and depending on the law of the country, I could even be punished instead of her.

It's something I haven't thought about since I was a teenager, because this thought destroys my heart, and my willpower to live.

I am no way saying that becoming a woman is better - in fact I am terrified that I could be raped by a man in the future. I am in no way trying to escape rape by changing my gender, so please don't give me that lecture like my mother did.

What is your opinions? Do you really believe that all "boys" or "men" want sex so much to the point that it's okay for a woman to have sex with you if you're just a child..?

I guess my biggest fear is knowing that if something did happen to me, that even if I spoke up about it, no one would listen because of double standards.
I don't want to find out, because if my fears are correct I know I will undoubtfully take my own life.


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Double standards infuriate me. I hated them becaues as a guy in HS, having a relationship (nevermind sex) with a younger girl made me some kind of cradle robber lol. Girls who dated younger guys faced discrimination too but nothing near what an older male would face in a M/F relationship. I was afraid of having contact with them because it's generally presumed that the guy is going to be responsible for the couples activities. Double standards cause me to break down, I actually got really upset at the mention of the selective service on my fafsa yesterday. They suck

[XiaoMei]

I agree with you Jean. If double standards didn't exist..... I would've delayed my transition for maybe another 10 or 20 years, but yeah, if you're trans, you're trans, there's nothing we can do about it.


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