Hello everyone! I'm doing my introduction here. I've been in transition for just over five years and a half starting with my hormones in October 2009 followed by transitioning full time and while on the job in March 2010. In the years before and just after transition, I came here from time to time to read and get the courage I needed to survive.
I had never cross-dressed or worn make-up before transition but I was a quick learner. My doctors didn't follow the Harry Benjamin Standards since I've been hypogonadic my whole life and needed to be on hormones of some sort. Once my psychologist signed off on them, I've been happily on estrogen for most of the time since (barring times of financial troubles).
My wife divorced me despite my hopes of a better outcome. After being on hormones for a couple of years, I've found that I actually do like men but also keep a candle lit for women. The progress of my transition has been amazing and I keep a Youtube channel to document my transition and the issues I'm dealing with.
More than anything, I am so grateful for the chance to be me. I am grateful that I have had the chance, despite my challenges in life, to transition. I had no idea that I could like myself or to even look in the mirror and appreciate what I see. I've had to struggle with poor self-esteem and self-hatred, obesity and the concurring health issues, oppressive parents, and oppressive religion while trying to cure myself by beating myself with a bible. I don't have to do any of that now.
When my psychologist saw me for the first time, he said two things were obvious: that I was trans and that I had spent so much effort trying to deal with this issue that I had eliminated my core self. Well, I've got me back and I am learning to love this person. Thank you for allowing me to share my story and anyone who is interested is invited to write to me.
Hugs and blessings,
Ila
